Page 100 of Which Witch is Willing?
She continued, her speech a flurry of excitement and warmth. “One of them, Spunky, I think, tried to catch Violet in a pillowcase when she took off. Tierra gave actual birth to a cow and Moira shit an actual brick. I don’t think shaken baby syndrome is a thing with immortals though, Killian seemed fine with it—” She paused, seeming to finally take note his discomfiture. “You’re—let me guess, I’m getting better at this—Anxious? Irritated? Not angry, are you?”
Julian’s fingers curled into fists, and he contemplated putting said fist through the marble, just because he could. “I’ve searched the vocabularies of every language I know, which is nearly infinite, and I am convinced there isn’t a word in existence to encompass what I am currently feeling.”
Her heels clacked against the hardwood floors and the door clicked softly as she allowed it to shut behind her.
“I warn you,” he growled. “It might not behoove you to be shut in a confined space with me. Not like this.”
She joined him on the carpet, close enough to touch him, but deciding not to do so.
“You left after Lucy,” she said with more sobriety. “And you didn’t come to see the baby. Why? Are you wounded? Did something happen?”
“Did somethinghappen?” he whirled on her then. He was not a violent man by nature, but his fingers itched to clamp around her perfect pale throat and throttle some sense into her. “Did something—” The sight of her stole his breath for a dozen different reasons.
Her hair, usually pulled tight into an updo, was loose around her shoulders and down her back, ruffled and windblown by a sprint on a broom, he assumed. Atop the glorious mane was a crown made of an opalescent structure, strewn with the clearest, most brilliant diamonds, moonstones, and mystic topaz. In her hand she clutched a wand made of the same ivory gems, a moonstone set on one side, and labradorite on the other.
She’d done it. She’d made the sacrifice. He’d watched her do it.
And he was livid about it.
“I’ll tell you what happened,” he snarled, astonished at the violence in his own voice. “Merehoursago, I was forced to watch from outside dark and impregnable wards as you put yourself in harm’s way. For what seemed like an eternity, I stood helplessly by as my greatest adversary drained the life out of the woman I love. That’s what happened. That’s whatnevershould have happened!”
Aerin blinked several times, derision clouding her quicksilver eyes. “I understand that, I do. But I also had to watch the man I love hand over a trump card that will make our next move nigh to impossible. We had her contained to rotting corpses. We had her weakened and now—”
“It wouldn’t have worked like that,” Julian gritted out. “She would have been slowed, certainly, but never stopped. What we know is that it will take all four elements to vanquish her. All four of you to stop or fulfill this prophecy. And you were more than ready to just throw that away—throw this away—” he gestured between them, her heart and his. “And for what? Some misguided sense of self-sacrifice?”
“Ihadto save Moira’s baby from that spell,” she explained evenly, as if talking to an overwrought child. “There was no choice. I believe those two are more important than the four of us, hell even the eight of us. And if Lucy’s spell had shackled Moira, sure my sister would have survived, but the kid could have died before she had a chance to live.”
“It didn’t have to bloody be you!” he roared, throwing his hands up in a gesture of all-encompassing exasperation. “Either Claire or Tierra could have withstood that spell. They’re soul-bonded. They’re immortal. You’re—we’re—” He whirled away from her again, unable to stand the sight of her, the elation he felt in her presence. The pride he couldn’t admit at her tenure of the wand and crown. The desire she evoked. The very masculine, utterly mortal possessive instinct that he’d battled all bloody afternoon.
He hauled in an endless breath fragrant with her calming scent. Citrus and fresh linen and something sharp and pure like snow. “I’ve lived to witness the destruction of millions,” he said upon a sigh. I’ve withstood untold millennia of pain, isolation, and a burden of guilt that would have crushed Atlas. But watching your life drain away from you was byfarthe worst thing I’ve been privy to.”
She laid a gentle hand on his back, and said the very worst thing she possibly could have.
“I’m sorry, Julian. I didn’t mean to put you through that.”
She was sorry.Sorry? He turned and caught her wrist before flinging her hand away. “I don’t want your pity.” Realizing he couldn’t stay in the room for a moment longer, he retreated toward the door and wrenched the latch.
“Then whatdoyou want?” she demanded.
The question hurt him just as much as anything else, and finally, he exploded. “How can you ask me that? I wantyou, Aerin. All of you. I want your past and your future. Your heart and yourimmortalsoul. I want you bonded to me like your sisters have bonded to my brothers so that eternity might belong to us. And today you almost sentenced me to a life lived in the same hellish loneliness I’ve been sequestered to since the fall of man. How could you? Howdareyou?”
Her mouth dropped open, but she didn’t utter a word as she reached up and relieved herself of her crown with trembling fingers. She made her way to the mantle and set it and her wand on the ledge before turning back to him.
Her eyes had dimmed to pools of gray as a fathomless emotion stole the vibrancy of her spirit he so adored.
“I thought I was protecting you,” she whispered.
His eye twitched and his blood pounded. “You’ll have to clarify, because I cannot begin to fathom what would possess you to—”
“It seemed strange to me, all this time, that four Horsemen were sent after four identical quadruplets, and one by one, they fell in love.” She rubbed at a muscle in her neck as if it wouldn’t release. “It seemed like fate. Like prophecy. Though it was written nowhere. And I thought… I thought… that yet again you drew the short straw.”
She wrapped her arms around her own middle as if she could contain whatever she was about to say, or protect her vital organs from whatever threat she perceived. It was difficult to tell. “I didn’t want to bond you to me just because it was the expected thing to do. Because the others did it. I didn’t want you to love me because I’m the only woman you can touch. Or fuck. Because the novelty of that will wear off eventually, and you’ll want someone else.”
Julian released the doorknob. “I would never—”
“We’re talking about eternity here.” She sliced the air with her hand “An eternity withme.With my smart mouth and my wicked tendencies. What if we win this, Julian? What if you no longer have to be Pestilence and can walk the earth as a man? You’re a living anachronism for Christ’s sake. A God’s honest gentleman. What if the world of options opens up to you and a gentlewomanwith gentle ways and gentle words captures your heart? It’s not fair of me to stand in the way of that. A soul bond could become your soul bondage and…” She looked away, seeming unable to watch his expression as she said her next words.
“Julian, I love you too much to put you in chains.”
