Page 60 of Could It Be Magic?
Nick shook his head, and Thea could see the hurt written all over his features. ‘You might think that, Thea, but I can tell you, I won’t.’ Then, he turned, opened the door and walked out of the kitchen. A few seconds later, Thea heard the front door open and close, and the rumble of Nick’s Land Rover as he drove away.
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Thea put on a brave face through dinner, fibbing that Nick had received a call from his parents and had needed to rush off to their place, but she got the feeling that neither child was convinced.
‘Can you text him and ask him to check if he’s got any more Pokémon cards?’ Dylan asked as the children tucked into Thea’s casserole with considerably more gusto than she did.
‘Yeah, sure,’ Thea replied, although Pokémon cards were the last thing she wanted to contact Nick about. As soon as he’d left, she’d started kicking herself, and although she was trying to project a calm exterior for the sake of her son and daughter, inside, she was churning.
Cora jumped up from the table and started to clear away the dishes. ‘Come on, Dyl, give us a hand,’ she said. She locked eyes with Thea. ‘Maybe you could call Nick and, er, remind him about those cards while we do the washing up?’
Thea shook her head. ‘He’s probably busy.’
‘Ohhhhkaaaay…’ Cora looked sceptical. ‘Well, go and sit down, anyway, and I’ll make you a cup of tea.’
‘Thanks, love,’ Thea replied. She settled down on the sofa, and listened to her children’s friendly bickering about who should do what in the kitchen and tried to put the quarrel with Nick out of her mind. She’d been right to point out that it had all been a bit rushed. They’d fallen into bed together after their first official date, for goodness’ sake! Who on earth did that? The little voice that told her she’d known Nick for a lifetime was resolutely ignored. She’d been lonely, as had he. They’d enjoyed themselves over Christmas, but now the festive season was nearly over, it was time to get real.
This was her life. This was her house. And in the kitchen, those were her beloved children. She didn’t need anyone else, and she didn’t want anyone else. She’d coped for years after Ed had left, and she’d got quite good at it. Why should she sacrifice her independence for a pair of loving arms, a friendly ear and absolutely dynamite sex?
But this was Nick. And, much as she hated to admit it, she knew he loved her. And much as she wouldn’t admit it to herself, she loved him. Set in her ways she might be, but she couldn’t ignore those two facts. Had she just blown him out because she was afraid to take a risk? Had the renewed contact with Ed put her even more on her guard? If so, was that really fair to Nick, who’d been nothing but patient, kind and steadfast, not just recently but for all of the years she’d known him?
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake!’ she exclaimed.
‘You OK, Mum?’ Cora was standing in the doorway of the living room, looking curiously at her mother.
Thea smiled. ‘You know what? I think I just might be. Do you think you’d be all right to keep an eye on your brother if I pop out for a bit? There’s something I need to do.’
Cora grinned. ‘I think we’ll cope.’ She handed Thea her cup of tea. ‘Do you want this before you go?’
Thea took a sip – Cora always knew how to make a decent cuppa. ‘That’s just the thing I needed.’ She looked at her daughter, and smiled at Dylan as he, too re-entered the living room. She reached out an arm to her daughter, who snuggled up to her briefly, and the other to her son. ‘I know it’s all been a bit weird, lately, but I promise you, things are going to be fine. We’ll make it work, darlings, I promise.’
‘And what about you and Nick?’ Cora asked, her voice slightly muffled from the cuddle. ‘Are you going to make it work with him?’
‘That depends,’ Thea said carefully. ‘Are you sure you two are OK with it, if we do?’
‘Only if he finds more Pokémon cards!’ Dylan quipped, a cheeky gleam in his eye.
‘I’ll make sure he knows that.’ Thea grinned at her son. She held her son and daughter close, and they were eventually joined by Lupin, who could never resist a warm cuddle. They were the most important people in her life, and they always would be, but perhaps it was time to let someone else into their protective little bubble. She knew it was going to be incredibly difficult to let go of the tight hold she had on everything in her life, to begin to share it anew with someone else, but she also knew if she didn’t take that risk and give Nick the chance to be a part of it, too, she ran the risk of being lonely, and wondering what might have been between them. After everything they’d experienced lately, her heart knew she couldn’t allow that to happen. Taking another sip of her tea to fortify her, she kissed the tops of her children’s heads, and headed out to see if she could make amends.
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Thea hadn’t really registered the snowfall before she left the house: it had just been a few flakes before dinner, but it was turning into something a little more beautiful and dramatic as she shut the front door. It seemed that Mollie Wakefield had been right about the long-range weather forecast. She’d chucked on a hoodie and a pair of trainers, reasoning that it was just a short journey to Nick’s place, so she wouldn’t need to wrap up. Hopefully, what she had to say to Nick wouldn’t take too long. Now she’d made up her mind, she couldn’t back out. She didn’t want to wait another minute.
‘Mum, Dad, wish me luck.’ She hadn’t ‘spoken’ to them for a while, she realised, not since Nick had taken on a more significant role in her life, but she felt as though she needed their ghostly reassurance now. She’d idealised her parents’ marriage over the years, and when her own relationship with Ed had ended, she’d blamed herself for not being able to sustain something as powerful as her parents had. With age had come experience, and she realised that all relationships faced challenges, but she’d never stopped hoping that one day, she’d find something as strong.
Who’d have thought that the answer had been under her nose the whole time? She thought back to that favourite film of hers, 13 Going on 30, and suddenly felt as nervous as that gawky teenager, going to tell the boy she loved that yes, she really did love him. She hoped he’d still listen to her, despite the fact that she’d put the brakes on in her kitchen not two hours before.
‘Nick Saint, you’d better be home,’ she muttered as the snow began to get heavier. Snow in Somerset wasn’t common, but when it came it had a tendency to blanket the county. She switched her wiper blades up a notch and shivered. The Volvo’s heating system left a lot to be desired, and she regretted the decision to leave her coat and gloves behind.
Visibility was getting poorer, and she was grateful that Nick’s cottage was only a couple of miles away. She flipped her headlights to full beam and crawled along the main road, feeling more and more nervous by the second. She wasn’t sure if it was the sudden blizzard or what she was going to say to Nick when she got there that made her more on edge. Yelping and dipping her headlights a fraction too late as a 4X4 came barrelling around a sharp bend towards her, she slowed down even further.
Slowing down was probably the wrong move, though. The car, once so reliable, had been getting more and more temperamental as it aged, and with a final arthritic splutter, the engine died.
‘Shit!’ Thea thumped her steering wheel as the car coasted to a halt. She was, irritatingly, halfway between the centre of Lower Brambleton and the long, winding lane that led to Nick’s cottage on the edge of the land Saints’ Farm owned. Manoeuvring the car into the verge as closely as she could, she cut the engine. Now what?
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake!’ Thea felt the urge to scream aloud when she realised, in her haste, she’d also left her phone on the living room table. Great. There was only one thing for it. Thrusting open the car door, thankful as she did so that there was no oncoming traffic, she slammed it shut and started the freezing walk to Nick’s place. At least, she thought, it would give her time to think about what exactly she was going to say to him when she got there.
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