Page 47 of Finding Love at Roseford Blooms
Simon stopped abruptly, as if her words had lashed his back. ‘Perfect?’ He gave a hollow laugh. ‘Now you’re being daft.’
‘Am I?’ Lizzie, sensing that she’d hit a nerve, tried to swallow down her residual frustration. Shouting at Simon wasn’t the answer, but his diffidence was so frustrating. She took a few steps towards him, until she could reach out and touch his shoulder. She could feel the tension in his body as she rested her palm on his back, and as he turned around to face her, she could see the conflict in his eyes.
‘I’m not perfect, Lizzie. You of all people should know that by now.’
‘Who is?’ Lizzie replied. ‘But no one’s asking you to be, Simon. Least of all me.’ She gave a half-laugh, half-sob. ‘I’ve spent my whole life trying to measure up to someone who was. Georgina was the “perfect” one as far as everyone was concerned. Me? I was just the understudy. So I worked harder, pushed further, did everything I could to make my family proud. And where did it get me? A broken collarbone, no job and a tiny bedroom at my aunt’s house with absolutely no clue about what to do for the future.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m as lost as you are.’
‘But you can rebuild yourself, and your career,’ Simon shot back. ‘You sold your company, remember? What do I have? An English degree and house I don’t even own any more.’ He raised a rueful eyebrow. ‘I’m not exactly a marketable proposition, by any stretch of the imagination.’
‘Oh, will you just stop?’ Lizzie’s anger was rising again. She hated hearing the apathy and defeat in Simon’s tone. ‘You don’t realise how bloody lucky you are, do you? If you wanted to, you could sit here, in your private apartment in the house you grew up in, for the rest of your life, being the family liaison for the BHF. You’d never have to step outside your comfort zone, and you’d lead a perfectly happy life. Frankly, no one would blame you if you did. But you’ve got the chance to put your own stamp on this place, to create something wonderful, that people will remember, if you’re brave enough to do it.’
Simon shook his head. ‘I’m really scared, Lizzie. I mean, when you say it out loud it all seems so stupid and so simple. If I put my mind to it, I have pretty much everything at my disposal I would need to launch RoseFest and yet I’m absolutely terrified to take that first step. The BHF are likely to be completely on board and, thanks to Finn Sanderson and Montana de Santo, I’ve got headliners Glastonbury would be proud of. But—’ he gestured uselessly down at himself ‘—do I look like a festival organiser? I don’t even own a pair of fucking flip-flops! Most popular culture of the past twenty years has completely passed me by while I was trying to keep this place afloat and I have no idea how to create a festival out of thin air. For all I know, some marketing whizz will come in, give me really shitty advice, take all my investment and it’ll be an utter humiliation.’
Lizzie couldn’t help smiling at how flummoxed Simon was. ‘It’s really not that bad,’ she said. ‘I know sometimes you come across as a throwback from the early twentieth century, but I really think you should have more faith in yourself than that.’ She raised an eyebrow. ‘And, while I wouldn’t describe myself personally as a marketing whizz, I’ve been in the business long enough to know what does and doesn’t suit a client. I’m not saying I’ll be your marketing consultant, but I can certainly make sure whoever you do employ will do the right thing by you.’
Simon took a step closer to her. ‘And if I asked you to be my marketing consultant?’ he said softly. Lizzie could see the tenderness in his eyes.
‘You couldn’t afford me,’ she murmured.
Simon grinned. ‘Then please can you hold my hand if I decide to do this? Seriously, Lizzie, I just need someone to talk to.’
Lizzie smiled back. ‘Of course. And you’ve got all of those potential backers at the Cross Dean reunion to butter up, as well.’
Simon groaned. ‘Don’t remind me. I still can’t quite believe I’ve agreed to put myself through that. You know I’m only going because I’ll have you by my side,’ Simon reminded her, then reached down and took her hand. ‘I think you know how much I’m going to need that.’
Lizzie felt her frustration with Simon beginning to dissipate. She knew how scared he was, about taking this next step in his life and facing his past back at Cross Dean, and her irritation began to turn into sympathy. She wanted to help Simon bring this project to fruition; but it was more than that. She wanted to be there, supporting him, maybe even loving him, while he did. Even after this short time, that much was becoming clear.
‘I promise I’ll be with you every step of the way,’ she said softly. She leaned up and placed a kiss on his lips. ‘Now, there’s still some champagne to finish, isn’t there? And I assume you’ll need my help to remove all traces of this illicit picnic from here, if you’re not to get thrown out of your own house!’
‘I’m pretty sure that would be grounds for eviction, if the BHF has anything to do with it!’ Simon responded.
39
The following Saturday, the Cross Dean reunion did not begin well when Simon and Lizzie were caught in a fifteen-mile tailback on their way to the small bed and breakfast Simon had booked for them. Since the school was in the heart of the Buckinghamshire countryside, it would have been too far to drive there and back in one night, and both of them had, initially, been looking forward to the change of scene. Despite Simon’s strong reservations about going to the event in the first place, having Lizzie by his side was definitely helping to calm the torrent of nerves that kept bubbling up periodically. As they crawled their way through the traffic on the motorway, though, those nerves began to resurface.
Simon noticed that Lizzie, too, had been very quiet as they’d got closer to the venue. He glanced over at the passenger’s seat, and observed that she had her head turned to look out of the window, one hand absently massaging her collarbone.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked gently. Somehow, focusing on her well-being took his mind off the reunion, calming him a little.
Lizzie looked round at him and gave him a tired smile. ‘I’m fine. I could do with a loo stop, though, once we get through this traffic.’
‘No problem,’ Simon replied. They’d been in the car nearly two hours; he could do with a break himself. He noticed she was still pressing her collarbone as they both looked ahead, trying to gauge how far the traffic now stretched. Thankfully, they finally began to move, and Simon spotted a sign for the motorway services coming up in another mile.
As the traffic gathered speed, Simon pulled into the inside lane and then onto the slip road, and they were soon stretching their legs. While he was waiting for Lizzie, Simon grabbed a couple of takeaway coffees for the next leg of the journey, and dithered over some pastries to go with them. He wasn’t particularly car proud, but he wasn’t sure if he fancied sugar and crumbs all over the seats of his Range Rover. Deciding they could eat them before they set off, he bought two Chelsea buns and then headed back to the entrance hall of the services. He spotted Lizzie coming out of the small branch of Waitrose with a packet of strong painkillers and a bottle of water in her grip.
‘Is it hurting you still?’ Simon asked as she swallowed a couple of the pills and took a good swig of the water.
Lizzie nodded. ‘I must have slept oddly last night. It’s been giving me hell since I woke up this morning.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ Simon said gently. ‘You didn’t have to come with me if you’re in pain.’
Lizzie looked up at him. ‘I didn’t want to leave you in the lurch. And these’ll take the edge off, anyway.’ She smiled briefly, although Simon could tell it was strained. ‘The doctor did warn me healing was going to take a while. It’s just bad timing it hurts today, that’s all.’
Simon reached out and pulled her close in a very gentle hug, trying not to aggravate her collarbone any further. ‘If it’s still bad this evening, then you can rest up in the B & B. Don’t force yourself to come out and endure this thing with me.’
Lizzie looked up at him, and he felt his heart expanding with love for her. ‘Honestly, I’m a big boy… I can handle it myself.’
‘I know.’ Lizzie’s smile got a little steadier. ‘But I promised I’d be there with you, and I will be. Now, shall we get back on the road? We’ve still got a little way to go.’
