Page 48 of White Raven
She nodded, leaning against the wall by Wren’s door. “It was, but…he’s important to me. He’s my partner, and for the longest time we were all each other had. I’m so happy for him, Wren. I’m happy for Sarah too. But like…I don’t know why I feel this huge…gap?” She wiped her eyes and sniffed hard. Wren settled herself against the wall beside her. “He found his person. I found mine. But then everything just happened so fast. He moved out. He put a ring on her finger—which I nevereverconsidered. He took all this time off, and now he’s about to fly across the country to track down some freak we know nothing about. I know he loves her more than anything, and I’mhappythat he does, Wren. It’s all I could ever want for him, but…that love changed him in so many ways, and I feel selfish for even saying this, because who the fuck am I? But…I miss him. I miss him just being around. I feel like this trip is a milestone, and one day he’ll go.”
She understood it. And even though Sarah was her best friend, it didn’t seem selfish at all. It was a human reaction, and one that anybody would be right to feel after so much changed so quickly. “I get what you’re saying. And you know who you are to him. Athan loves you, even if he’d never actually say it. It took him a lot to even say those words to Sarah and he’s fucking rabid when it comes to her.”
“I know he does. He ran out when I left and hugged me. He doesn’t do that. I guess I just really hate change. I’ve got abandonment issues, and maybe it’s because Foley is pressing this whole ‘let's find all the wolves’ thing, but…it’s hitting me like a truck right now.” It seemed like every once in a while, God would throw her a rope when she was in awkward situations, because in the split second it took for Wren to come up with something to say, Rhaena’s eyes lit up like her detective brain had just figured something out. “Hit like a truck…” she whispered under her breath, slowly trailing her eyes to the wall adjacent to them.
“What’s up?”
“I—I’m sorry, I just thought about something. Can we catch up later?”
“Yeah, is everything okay?” Wren asked warily, while Rhaena stepped past her and started unlocking her door.
“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks…you know, for listening to me bitch for a minute.”
“You got it, babe. Athan might have moved out, but you’ve got the best neighbor in Boston, now.” She winked, and Rhaena smiled. Wren tossed two fingers from her forehead and turned to walk towards the elevator.
“Wren?” Rhaena called. Wren turned around and they locked eyes for a minute. “You look good. I’m glad to see you venturing out. Try to have a little fun tonight.”
“Thanks, Rhae-Rhae.”
“You look beautiful,” Athan said, side-eyeing her while he drove downtown. “I’m sorry I lost my shit in there.”
Did he test her patience when he tore Rhaena a new asshole, and acted like he was the one in control of her life? Yes. Could she actually be pissed, or evenremainso, when he only really slipped because he’d do anything to protect her? No. And she wasn’t. Ever since Athan Kane had embraced the notion of allowing himself to fall in love, Sarah knew deep down that it was going to take a lot of adjusting after being alive for over two centuries. Especially after being a prisoner to the Devil and living his life as a creature of the dark. The reality, and the fierce way that he loved her meant everything. She’d never fault him for lashing out…even if he had been ashit.
“It’s okay, Athan,” Sarah replied softly, sliding a hand to his knee. “But you really need to cut her some slack. I don’t know if you’ve noticed lately, but you’ve been kind of short-fused with Rhaena.”
He sighed, nodding, and gripping the steering wheel a little harder as he dropped his other hand over hers. “I know. And Ihavenoticed.”
“Talk to me.”
It took a couple of long, silent seconds that felt more like an eternity, but he finally huffed again and flicked his hair over his brow. “I’ve been struggling to get out of that detective head space since I took time off. Especially since we found the bird on the doorstep. Sarah, I really wanted nothing more than to try and enjoy just being alive. Being inlove…with you. It’s a concept that’s still new to me, yes, but…of course…all this shit happened with John Allan trying to get our attention. Then you lost control, and we have that hanging over our heads, which I should have prepared for…but didn’t. I’m still beating myself up about that.”
“That isnotyour fault,” Sarah interrupted, jerking her face toward him.
“It’s partly my fault. No matter how you wanna try to argue it. Aside from that, I guess I’m just short-fused in general, because all I truly want is to spend our eternity making you happy, and allowing myself the same for once in this fucked up life…and it feels damn near impossible.”
Fair point. But if the cost was hurting the ones they loved, it wasn’t worth a minute of that happiness. Sarah fidgeted with the silver ring on his thumb.
“You know just being with you in this fucked up life makes me happy, right?”
She could swear she felt him practically melt into the seat. She really was his undoing. Athan raised her hand to his mouth and tenderly kissed every one of her knuckles, never taking his eyes off the road. Nothing on this entire street seemed familiar, and she glanced around lowering her brows.
“Where in God’s name are you taking me?” she asked curiously.
His smile was…excited. Like a little kid being led into their first amusement park ride. “Three more minutes. Then you’ll know everything.”
“You’re being incredibly vague.”
“Yeah, well…isn’t that the whole idea of surprises?”
Sarah tightened her mouth. “I don’t like surprises as of late.”
“You’ll like this one.” He released her hand and took the wheel, turning left into an old, shoddy-looking storefront that was dimly lit, and ordinary as hell.
“That’s awfully fucking presumptuous,” Sarah snickered, scrunching her face at the sight of the place. It wasn’t until she saw a yellow Beatle parked in the narrow alley next to the building that she promptly snapped her mouth shut. Athan caught that movement, and slowed to a stop behind Wren’s car,grinning at her like he’d lost his damned mind. “What are you up to, Athan Kane?”
He didn’t answer, instead turning himself to reach into the back seat and grabbing the old ledger from the brothel before sliding out of the car and shutting the door. She waited as he came around to open hers and let him help her out. Wren popped out of the front of the shop a moment later.
“Okay, is this one of those sketchy places that does tarot readings in the back or some shit? Cause I’m officially uncomfortable in there, and it reeks of old people.”
