Page 37 of Tyton: The Spider and the Dragonfly
Sesi shook her head.“I’m not playing this game, Talia.You don’t want me.”
“We aren’t playing, huh?You know I still find you attractive and then you dothis?”Talia rolled her eyes.
The knowledge that shecouldrestart something with Talia right now caused a wave ofwantto flow through Sesi.But that would be a terrible idea.They both needed to move on.“What about your new toy?”Sesi locked her eyes on Talia’s.“The one you needed to check on?”
Talia’s nostrils flared.“Stay the fuck away from her, okay?”Maybe she could use this to add to her ball of grievances.
“You know, you’re the only one I let talk to me like that.”Sesi rolled her neck from side to side, trying to distract herself from the thought of Talia moving on.It hurt more than she wanted to admit.
“Why is that?”Talia knew the answer.Sesi did too.But neither of them would say it.
“Look, I’m not going to stay away from her, but I won’t be a dick and pursue her either.”Sesi unflexed her toes.She should be happy about this instead of turning it into a competition.But she wasn’t.
Talia huffed, dropping her head into her hands.“It feels like we’re fighting over custody of a child.”
“Well go ahead and tell her that if you want her vagina to turn into sandpaper,” Sesi said.
Talia laughed.God, Sesi had missed that sound.
“Were we always so crude?”Talia wiped the tears from her face, hoping they were from laughter and not something else.
At least the tension had broken, Sesi thought.“Yes.It tends to creep up on you in this business.”Sesi took a breath.“Seriously, Talia,” she said softly.“I’m honestly having a hard time with this.”
Talia winced.After the games were done, she could always be honest with Sesi.“Me too.But we both know it won’t work.”
Even now, she couldn’t hate Sesi, nor could she let her go.
Their relationship had been easy when all Talia had to do was impress her.And shelovedimpressing her.Talia thrived on that attention.Sheneededit.But then Sesi grew to understand what she needed.“I guess you outgrew me, huh?”Talia scoffed in self-deprecation.
“No, Talia,” her voice low.“You’re not something to outgrow.You’re perfect the way you are.You just caught me in the middle of adapting to a new situation and you didn’t realise I wasn’t myself yet.”
Talia narrowed her eyes, mulling over Sesi’s words.
“Think of who you were when Georg rescued you from that cult.How much did you change trying to figure out who you were?”
Taliahadthought about it.Too much.Those were old wounds that had never really healed.A therapist might have told her that it was why she needed control.That it was why she attached to people too quickly.That it was why her relationships burned hot and then crashed.
Except for Sesi.That landing was too soft to be satisfying.And also, she refused to see a therapist.That would have required reliving everything.Talia would only accept one cure for that trauma.Sesi knew it too.
Talia had been destined forrepopulationwhen she turned fourteen.As part of her upbringing, she had been brought through the birthing rooms.They told her to pay special attention to the ones missing feet.Those were the ones who had tried to run away.The ones missing hands were the ones who had tried to fight back.
And yet, she hadstill runanyway.
It may have been luck that Georg had seen her being pursued.Luck that Georg had decided to react in her favour.Luck that Georg had a shotgun with him at the time.
But it was her ego that had made her run in the first place.And though she had learned what to do and say to keep from being punished, she had always known that she was more.That part had never changed.
Sesi watched as the thoughts resolved themselves in Talia’s head.“You didn’t change, did you?It was just a different situation.”
Talia hated her perceptiveness.“I changed some,” she protested.
“Maybe you grew into who you already were.”
Talia tried to bite the inside of her cheek, but found that it was already raw.
“What about Callie?”
Talia took a deep breath.“I told her about us.Why we broke up.She deserved to know.”
