Page 76 of Don't Leave
“Sorry,” I say with a weak smile.
For some reason, sitting here in the driveway of my childhood home, the one I hadn’t been allowed to return to after my failure, has all those bad memories crashing around inside my head. And I realize that I’m almost afraid to walk through the front door.
Afraid that this trip home won’t turn out to be a positive one.
Maybe that sayingyou can never go home againis true.
The last thing I want is for the next couple of days to be awkward and uncomfortable.
Have I rushed things by agreeing to come home for Thanksgiving, foolishly thinking that everything would magically fall neatly back into place between all of us?
It’s a jarring thought.
My chest tightens, making it difficult to breathe. I close my eyes and inhale a deep breath before slowly forcing it out again, all the while desperately trying to rein in my out-of-control feelings.
If I allow my mind to keep tripping down this path, I’ll have a full-on attack.
Relax.
Just relax.
It’s the deep timbre of Luke’s voice that finally punctures the anxiety spiraling through me.
“Hey,” he squeezes my hand again, “are you all right?” His fingers rise to stroke softly over my cheek. “Cassidy, look at me.”
He must see the fear and panic rising within my wide eyes because he slowly tugs me into his arms. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and rest my head against the solid strength of his chest.
And then I just breathe.
I suck in big gulps of air before slowly pushing them out again.
“Keep breathing,” he whispers near the shell of my ear.
I focus on the low cadence of his voice.
It takes about three or four minutes before I find my muscles loosening
Once I’ve calmed myself down, he says, “We can leave right now if you want. I’ll take you to my house or back to school.” He pull away enough to search my eyes. “Is that what you want?”
For a silent moment, I turn the offer over in my mind, realizing that I don’t really want to leave. My parents haven’t done anything to make me think that this weekend won’t be a step forward for all of us. What frightens me most is that this homecoming has the potential to end in disaster, leaving my family and me just as broken as we were. There is so much pressure resting on the outcome of these next few days.
I didn’t realize I was feeling so stressed about it until now.
“No, I don’t want that,” I tell him.
I need to give this a chance. I want my family back and spending time with them is the only way it’ll happen.
With his hand resting against my cheek, he continues to gently stroke my skin. “You’ll be fine, Cassidy. And if you’re not, all you have to do is call me and I’ll drop everything and pick you up. Got it?”
Just knowing that I’m not stuck here if everything tanks makes all the difference in the world.
“Thank you, Luke.” Embarrassed by my mini-breakdown, I glance away before mumbling, “Sorry for falling apart like that.”
His fingers slip under my chin before turning my face until I have no other choice but to meet his gaze. “We’re friends.” He brushes his lips across mine. “And friends are always there for each other no matter what.”
Even though it was just a fleeting caress, my mind continues to spin.
Before I have a chance to gather my thoughts, he says, “Come on, I’ll walk you to the door.”
