Page 20 of The Ruthless Highlander's Hellion
"That's fine with me. I dinnae bring ye food. I have come to force ye to take a walk with me," she said, grabbing Alexandra's shawl and placing it on her shoulders.
"Nae, I daenae want to leave the room," she said.
"I saw Nicholas ride out of the castle walls earlier. I denae think he has returned," Erica said with a lifted brow.
"Aye? Well, I could use some fresh air," Alexandra said.
The two walked out of the castle into the courtyard. Alexandra's eyes darted here and there for a sign of Nicholas, but she didn't see him. She looped her arm in Erica's and they slowly strolled along.
"What troubles ye so deeply?" Erica asked.
“Erica… I cannae keep lyin’ to myself," she said.
The maid paused, “Aye?”
“I’m feelin’ somethin’ toward him,” Alexandra admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “The laird… Nicholas. I daenae ken what it is, but I cannae stop thinkin’ about him.”
“Then why are ye hidin’ up there like a caged bird in yer room?”
“Because I cannae act on it,” Alexandra said, standing abruptly. “I was supposed to be betrothed to Leo when he took me. Leo will nae forget that. And I daenae ken what this feelin’ is. Nicholas is a brute and he's arrogant and takes what he wants. I cannae be with a man like that."
“But ye arenae married to Leo yet,” Erica countered, arms crossed. “There’s still time to make a different choice.”
Alexandra turned toward her, frustration sparking in her eyes. “There’s nay choice to be made! I agreed to the match. If I break it, it’ll bring trouble down on me brother’s head. War on our people."
“Trouble’s already knockin’, if ye ask me,” Erica said, her voice low. “But what about whatyewant? When does that matter?”
Alexandra hesitated, her gaze dropping to her hands. “It doesnae matter. It cannae. Me duty is to me clan and to peace.”
“Peace is worth misery?” Erica said firmly. "Marriage is final, me lady. Once ye tie yerself to a man, there’s nay easy way to undo it.”
Alexandra’s voice cracked as she replied, “Leo threatened war, Erica. He said if I dinnae marry him, he’d raise a blade against me brother.”
“And do ye believe he truly would?” Erica asked, eyes narrowing. “Or is he just a bully with a title?”
“Does it matter?” Alexandra’s voice rose. “Caelan wouldnae risk it. We cannae afford another feud.”
Erica walked closer, softer now. “And what happens if ye marry Leo, and he’s cruel? Cold? Will yer brother protect ye then? What if he declares war even after ye marry him? Can he truly be trusted to keep his word? Nae from what I've heard of Leo Rankin," Erica said.
Alexandra’s chest tightened, breath catching. “He has to honor his word. That’s what this is all for.” But she was not so sure now. Erica brought up a good point. If she married Leo and he attacked the Sinclair clan anyway, she would be devastated.
Erica touched her arm gently. “Ye want to protect yer brother. But who will protectye, lass? Yer heart? Yer soul, should Leo nae keep his word after yer married?”
“Aye, that is one me mind. I daenae ken what to do. Laird O’Donnell has made me mind confused. And all it took was one kiss, and now I cannae think straight.”
"What is so special about this kiss, then?" Erica asked.
“He kissed me like a man who sees me,” she said. “The real me. That’s more than some husbands ever give their wives.”
"Well that sounds—" Erica said, but before she could finish.
“I feel alive when he’s near… like he’s stirred somethin’ inside me I dinnae even ken was sleepin’.” Alexandra continued.
“Then fight for it,” Erica said. “Even if it’s just for yerself.”
Alexandra looked away, pain clouding her features. “And doom me brother to bloodshed?”
Erica’s voice softened, kind but resolute. “Or maybe—just maybe—trust that there’s another way. That peace and happiness daenae have to be enemies.”
