Page 82 of Vying Girls
I play with the gold ribbon, twirling it around my little finger and fashioning a knot. Nic’s index finger taps her thigh where it rests, a sure indicator she’s not as relaxed as she seems. Taking the other end of the ribbon, I tie it around her own little finger. She snaps her head down to look but doesn’t pull away.
In my head I think up a rhyme in an effort to fortify that final spell of ours.
‘Hey. Do you remember the storm the night we moved into the new house?’
I eye her profile as she considers whether or not she wants to answer. She has a fairly sharp jawline, in line with the rest of her. The candlelight blurs the faint freckles on her face. I wouldn’t say she grew up pretty, but certainly striking. Shifting too, in that cool, androgynous way. She’s more on the feminine side tonight, but I don’t know if I’m just equating that with her vulnerability.
‘Yeah,’ she finally says. ‘I remember looking out the window with you, waving at that kid and his mum watching from across the way. I said we should make friends with him.’ She swings her head to me. ‘Do you remember what you said back?’
I shake my head, not remembering at all.
‘You said yeah, we could use him as a sacrifice in one of our rituals.’
‘I said that?’ I laugh softly. ‘My God, why was I not in therapy back then?’
‘God knows. You certainly needed it.’
‘And instead I got you. A willing initiate.’
Nic shakes her head. ‘So easily led back then.’
‘But not now?’
‘Now…I don’t even recognise myself.’
When I wake up, I’m alone in the bed. I lie there for a moment, but I know she’s not coming back. The sweet scent of smoke from carefully extinguished candles is evidence enough for that.
I play with the woollen blanket that’s over me, vaguely remembering her tucking me in. Or had that been a memory from yesteryear, one I’m trying to rewrite today with?
I pull it off me. Either way, so much for me not sleeping alone.
I stomp to the door but when I turn the handle, it’s locked.
‘Really?’
I try the light switch but the power’s still out. Wind howls behind the window, the shadows of her room more sinister now I’m alone. I thumb my phone to message Nic, only to see she’s already sent one.
Nic:Spare key in top bedside drawer.
Praying my phone torch will last, I yank open the drawer. It feels weird rummaging through her stuff, especially when I spot a strap-on at the back, along with a pump bottle of lube. She clearly doesn’t care if I see it, so I try not to either. It’s not like I don’t have a couple of toys in my own. Shit, between the four of us, this whole house is full of them.
I find the key inside a little origami box. The house is so dark, the corridors appearing endless. I hear nothing from downstairs. I’ve been asleep for ages; it’s the small hours of the morning now. That whiskey knocked me out.
In the lounge, all is quiet. Haz and Elly are conked out on the floor, the slitted gleam of Nic’s eyes telling me she’s still awake from her place on the sofa. She closes them without a word.
I kneel on the makeshift bed, putting a hand on Haz’s shoulder.
‘Tilda?’ she mumbles. ‘Where the fuck you been, man?’
I kiss her shoulder. ‘Here now, cutie-pie. Budge up.’
I snuggle down between them, sighing when her arm comes around me. I feel Elly’s heat on my other side, greedily soaking it in as a strange coldness comes over me.
‘Wanna join the spoon train, Nic?’ Haz says.
‘Not interested in four-wheeling.’
‘But four wheels make a car, baby.’
