Page 19 of Vying Girls
The others had still been asleep when I crept in, enabling me to fall into bed with the curtains still drawn tight, ignoring the magnificent Hazelhurst morning.
Dawn was breaking when I woke earlier, the sky painted with blood red stripes leaching into the sea below.Shepherd’s warning.
Waking with no clothes on but my knickers had been a shock, more so with my limited memory and Nic staring at me almost regretfully from where she stood at the window.
For a moment, I’d thought…well, doesn’t matter because it was exactly then that it all came flooding back. Not just the previous hours, but twelve years ago too.
Nicole.The girl with the round face and long hair. Who was quiet and attentive and always considerate. Who was never mean or angry or full of vengeance.
Under the covers, my face creases.
How can they be the same? Is she even? She’s been out to get me since day one, maybe she’s upped her attacks. Found out about my broken past and weaponised it.
Yeah, and grew an identical birth mark too.
I remember asking her what happened. Why the hate, why the fury, whythis.Deep in shock, it was the only thing I could think to say.
‘You happened,’she all but spat.
Wouldn’t elaborate after that. Or had she? I hit my head with my palm. I can’t fucking remember. I swallow, still feeling queasy from the night.
We hadn’t much time between waking up and boarding the ferry. The choppy water, combined with my hangover, resigned me to the deck, the cold wind slapping my face and combing my hair. Nic stayed inside. Away from my eyes. Away from questions.
She pissed off as soon as we disembarked. Off to her tent or the hall for breakfast. Just somewhere—anywhere—away from me.
I think of the bottle of water on my nightstand. She’d thrust it into my hands upon me waking, with no words, just that gritted-teeth look of hers. Like that small kindness truly killed her.
But she still does them, these random favours. Like she just can’t help herself. It confused me before, but now…
Was she remembering how we were? How close, how connected? Two lonely, neglected kids finding solace in oneanother. Creating magic and worlds and little pockets of escape only big enough for two.
I bite my lip, fighting tears.
Finding my phone, I toss her a desperate,Please, Nic.
Please talk to me. Please tell me why.
Because I can’t go there. My mind shuts off that last day. It’s a habit, a defence mechanism. It was so fucking awful.
So her dad’s dead? That hadn’t meant much to me yesterday beyond a shallow sympathy. But now…well, good fucking riddance is all I can say. How can Nic be mourning him after everything he did? Everything hewas?
I scrub at my face just as my door opens.
‘You in here, little mouse?’ Haz asks, voice soft as it is taunting.
‘I’m here.’
I lie still as she climbs on up, spooning her bulk into me.
I’m assuming they don’t know. They’d have told me, surely. Haz couldn’t keep a secret for shit.
It’s all I can focus on, but I can’t confide in them yet. Not until I’ve spoken with Nic. I’m still not sure my mind believes it. My heart certainly doesn’t.
‘You made it back then?’
‘Seems so.’
Haz finds my stomach and strokes it. ‘Thought we’d find you murdered somewhere.’ She snorts. ‘Or Nic. You were out for fucking blood last night.’
