Page 34 of Lourdes & the Mafia
It’s not.
It’s not fucking okay, joder.
This is bad.
I’m falling into old habits. I’m falling into the exact shit that I said I wasn’t going to fall into. Giving myself to a man who shows me even the slightest sliver of attention. Who is showing me the slightest bit of fucking care.
I did the same shit with Dimas. He ran me in fucking circles. Reeling me in just to let me go all over again. Kicking me in and out of his life. And I’m the pendeja that fell for that shit. I fell for his lies and sweet words only to have my heart broken over and over again.
Because I was stupid enough to love a man more than I loved myself.
Never again.
“Get off!” I kick out and Ramiel jerks backwards, putting space between us immediately. I need it to think, and yet the distance doesn’t seem like it’s big enough.
“Lourdes,” Ramiel begins, rising to his feet. “Forgive me if I made you uncomfortable.”
“Just… just shut the fuck up, okay?” I tug at my hair, as if that can drown out the sound of his voice and the sensations he makes me feel. It doesn’t. I’m not sure if anything can wipe away the memory of that vision, of what he just did.
His touch is a brand, and it’s imprinted into my soul forever.
Even when I don’t want it to be.
“I am sorry.”
“Jesus Christ, coño, cállate por favor. I need silence.” He surprisingly obeys and stays silent. It gives me a moment to think. For my mind to tumble in circles. “Is this the reason you’re helping me?” I ask, planting my own feet firmly on the ground. “Because you want to get in my panties?”
“Of course not,” he replies smoothly.
“But is it a factor?”
He remains silent, and that seems answer enough.
“Joder, I’m such a fucking idiot.” Tears prick at the backs of my eyelids, and I fight the urge to dig the heels of my hands into them. “I have no idea what’s happening anymore. Today has been so fucked.” I got fucking stabbed and then deposited into the fucking Underworld. It’s no wonder I’m seeking touch and comfort.
But I don’t need it.
I need to find comfort inmyself.
Just as the thought takes precedence in my mind, there’s a poof of dark smoke.
And Kane and Lorenzo appear.
Covered in blood.
Lorenzo
Wegobacktothe Underworld immediately. I deposit us where Ramiel and Lourdes are in deep conversation in one of the castle’s many sitting rooms. I bring us here because what I said was true.
Kane fucked up, and he will face the consequences.
One look at Rami’s hardened expression and I know he’spissed.That he knows what happened. That he felt the woman’s soul brutally leave her body.
And he will punish Kane for it.
Kane forgets himself. He spends so long in The Pit, so long around vile creatures with heavy sins, that he forgets there are real people with real feelings. He meant to break the woman over and over again like he does to souls, and he forgot that humans… when they break, they can’t come back from it.
Lourdes is standing across from Rami, the look of fury melting into one of shock as she sees us. I make note to ask about that fury later, when Lourdes steps forward.
