Page 69 of True Sight
They’ll be happy for me, just like Maragret was when she found out. Kolbi will tell me he’s proud of me and Hank will probably be excited that Henry enjoys working out as much as he does. Malcolm will ask a million inappropriate questions that will make me want to crawl into a hole but that’s just who he is. They’ve been my best friends since we were eight years old and will want nothing more than for me to be happy. But the thought of telling them makes me sick to my stomach because admitting to them that I’m with Henry means admitting that I’m someone completely different than who they think I am. It means admitting something to them—and myself—that I’ve known to be true for the last few weeks, possibly years if I am being fully honest with myself.
That I’m attracted to men.
That I’mgay.
And how am I supposed to admit that to them if I’m not even ready to admit it to myself yet?
27
HENRY
“Remember, it’s down, up, cross, out. Feel the beat and move with the music, let it carry you. Ready? In five, six, seven, eight,” I call out on the beat with Alex dancing along behind me. We decided that we would teach our Saturday morning classes together as a fun way to get to spend more time together. Between the studio class schedule and her own private clients she sees, Alex is always on the move. She seems to be handling it fine enough even though some days she does seem a little worn down. I catch her smiling at me in the viewfinder of our camera and awe at how much she shines. I don’t know what I did in another life to have been blessed with a chance to meet her and call her a friend, but I’m really grateful I did.
“Hey! Hey, hey,” she calls out and swung her hair out to the music. She’s all energy and vibrancy today and we play off one another perfectly in sync.
“Now drop it down low,” I call out in a staccato manner to match the beat of the song. Alex and I drop into our squat sequence that will take us through to the end of the dance.
“Ahhh, my legs are burning,” she cries, dropping herhead behind her before laughing. I turn to look at her and laugh when she gives me a comedically pained expression.
“Follow the beat, you got it. Only eight, seven, six, five,” I count down the final eight count and groan dramatically when we make it to the end, the song fading out once we have.
“Oh my god, who came up with that?” she laments, pacing around the room with her hands on her hips, trying to catch her breath.
“Uhm, you?” I bark at her with another laugh. I turn to face the camera where our ever-patient participants were joining us over a live video call. “If your legs are burning out like ours are, you can blame Alex for that final push.” The comment section of our livestream explodes with varying ranges of praise and complaints.
I laugh as I read one from one of our most consistent members. “Sarah says you need to have your head checked.”
“Sarah, dear”—Alex points towards the camera with a finger gun—“Already have. Unfortunately for all of us, there’s nothing that can be done.” She shrugs.
“Alright team, the studio is set to open after the New Year, so just about six weeks left until our local friends can come join us in house. The space is looking incredible and I’ll be doing a full studio tour on our member platform and socials once it’s done. You all are going to freak,” I explain as I demonstrate the cool down moves.
“If you’re local, we’ll have an open house after New Years Day and the first week of classes will be the second week of January. If you aren’t local and want to become a virtual only member, my tech guy is working hard on our app and has assured me it will be ready by the same time.”
“That’s not the only thing he’s working hard,” Alex jokesunder her breath. On my tricep pull, I turn in a circle and scowl at her while I’m facing away from the camera.
“Classes for next week open up tomorrow at noon eastern, just like always and I can’t wait to see you all again soon. One last inhale in, and exhale. Lovely job today everyone.” I wave my hands at the camera and quickly read all the messages of thanks and gratitude before closing the virtual room and shutting my laptop.
“I should kill you,” I threaten Alex, sitting down completely on the floor and stretching some more on my own.
“What? No one heard me,” she scoffs while fixing her ponytail.
“You don’t know that. People take clips of class, Alex, plus they’re recorded for replays. You have a mic on. Anyone who was paying attention could have heard what you said and gotten it on camera,” I reminded her. A mild sense of anxiety started to burrow into my stomach as I bend in half to stretch my hamstrings.
“What’s the big deal? No one will know it’s Conrad I’m talking about. Why are you being so fussy about this?”
I let out a huff and use my shirt to wipe the sweat off my brow. “Because, Lex, he isn’t ready for people to know yet. What if one of his friends finds out he’s working for me and looks me up and then sees some clip of what you said? What then?”
“I highly doubt that would happen, sweetie. You’re being paranoid.” She clicks her tongue at me and waves her hand.
“You don’t know that for certain, though, and Conrad has asked me to keep this between us. I probably shouldn’t have said anything to you.” I shake my head at her and chew on my lip.
“Why the fuck not? You said his one girl friend knows. If she knows, I deserve to know,” she points out.
“But that was a fluke. She only knows because she walked in on us kissing.”
“Well, then tell him I walked in on you jerking off and saying his name if he asks why I know. That’s totally believable.”
“That’s not believable at all. Why would you have walked in on me doing that?” I scoff, completely baffled that she thinks that’s a reasonable explanation. Even though I have gotten myself off at the thought of him, leaving myself moaning his name while I come in my hand.
