Page 3 of True Sight
“You worry because you don’t like change because the last time things changed in your life, you lost people who were important to you. You worry that if things change, you’ll lose control, and if you lose that, bad things will happen.”
Is she right?AmI worried because I don’t like changeand prefer to be in control? My eyes are locked on the orange bottle as if we’re in a staring contest.I’ll show you control, I think as I pick up the bottle and throw a little white pill down my throat. I don’t even need to wash it down with water, it’s so small.
Before walking away from the sink, I splash some water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. My flaxseed colored hair is long enough to graze the tops of my ears and swoop around my face as if I’ve just run my hand through it even though I haven’t. I would describe my hair as “perfectly disheveled” because it always looks like it has gone through a wind tunnel. Its slight curl at the end gives it a perpetually messy look that, no matter how much I brush it, I can’t work out. For years my grandmother would tell me to go back upstairs and brush my hair before school and I would whine and say I already had.‘Go try harder’she would gripe, and I would stomp back up the stairs, huffing as I went. A soft grimace that might resemble a smile grows on my face as I think about her. The sound of her voice rings in my ears and I’m smacked upside the head with the realization that she, just like my parents, is gone and never coming back.
Pulling my face away from the mirror, the hints of traits I inherited from them are too painful to look at. I head downstairs to make myself some coffee. A nightmare woke me up last night—this one of a woman screaming my name over and over—and I’m going to need an extra boost of caffeine to get through my project load today. Remembering Hanna’s directions to track my dreams as they happen, I pull out my phone and write down the details I remember. A woman screaming my name. Me, crying, but out of frame. And smoke. Lots of smoke. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to push the sound of the screams from my mind when I feel my phone buzzing inmy back pocket. Pulling it out, I slide my thumb across the screen when I see it’s the group chat I have with my three best friends.
Dungeons and Dickheads: 1 New Message
Hank:
Good morning my sweet little sunshines. How did everyone sleep?
I scrunch my nose up at my phone, confused as to why Hank, my ex-soldier of a friend, would be calling us ‘little sunshines.’ Before I can even reply, a text from Kolbi, another part of our weird little family, sends a text.
Kolbi:
Good morning Bailey. I slept fine, how did you sleep?
Hank:
Ugh, Kolbi! You ruin all the fun. How’d you know it was me?
Kolbi:
Because Hank would never in his right mind call us ‘little sunshines.’ Maybe dumb fucks, or dick lickers, but never little sunshines
Malcolm:
Bailey, do you have my rhinestone boots? I don’t see them in my closet miss ma’am.
I roll my eyes and assume the text from my third best friend is actually from his girlfriend, Ophelia, who’s also Bailey’s best friend. They used to live together downtown before Bailey moved out and marriedHank. Earlier this year Malcolm and Ophelia got involved and recently moved in together.
Hank:
Oops, sorry girl, I do. I’ll bring them to campaign night tonight if you’re coming!!
Malcolm:
Of course I’m coming, we have another Hilary Duff movie to watch, remember?
Bailey, Ophelia, and Kolbi’s wife, Magnolia, always get together when the guys and I sit down for our weekly Dungeons and Dragons game night. At one point, it was just us guys. But just like everything else it seems, the weekly ritual now includes a gaggle of girls watching some sort of chick flick in the other room, shushinguswhen we get too loud. Almost on cue, a text from Kolbi’s number comes through that’s clearly from Magnolia.
Kolbi:
Wait! Since we’re talking about things to bring tonight, Ophie can I borrow your pair of Manolo’s with the little straps that are that incredible shade of green? Bailey and I have a charity event this weekend I would love to wear them to if you don’t mind sharing them *heart eye emojis*
Malcolm:
Of course queen! I’ll bring them tonight. Are you wearing them with that satin a-line you bought last month when we went shopping?
My blood pressure is starting to rise and I can’t take them obfuscating our group chat like this anymore.
Can we PLEASE move all female related conversations to a different group chat? This is not the space for you all to do this.
The chat is silent for a moment before new messages pop up.
Hank:
