Page 68 of I Would Stay Forever
“Hey,” he murmured. Then he put a hand on the door over each of my shoulders, locking me in.
“Funny running into you here,” I murmured. Then I raked my hands through his hair and pulled him in for a kiss. We both knew we were short on time, so he wasted no time in running his tongue along my bottom lip and I wasted none in letting himdeepen the kiss. He pressed me hard up against the door and kissed me like he thought it might be the last time we ever saw each other and he didn’t want to waste a moment.
We’d been sneaking moments together where we could but it never felt like enough. Stealing kisses between classes and dates in his car on lunch so we could get some alone time and sneaking away like this when he was over visiting Sebastian. I might have felt bad about that last one, except Dean said Sebastian did the same thing, sneaking away with Nora whenever he was over visiting Dean, so I figured it was just fair payback.
Today, we got a whole three minutes together before I heard someone coming up the stairs. The first time we’d done this, I’d been so scared of being caught that I’d pushed him away the moment I heard someone coming. Today, I just pulled him closer, knowing our time was coming to an end but unwilling to waste a second of it. Because of that, I was prepared for the knock on the door that came a moment later and managed not to jump out of my skin.
“Lavender,” Sebastian’s voice came through the door. “Have you by chance kidnapped my best friend?”
“He came in willingly, thank you very much,” I responded. I pushed Dean away so I had the space to turn around, then ran my hands through my hair and smoothed down my clothes before opening the door, as if Sebastian had any doubts about what we were up to in here.
Sebastian’s annoyed face filled my doorway but I just blinked back innocently, acting as if I’d done nothing wrong. His eyes fluttered to Dean,
“I thought you said you were going to the bathroom,” he said.
Dean shrugged amiably. “Got lost.”
“Mm-hmm.” Sebastian sighed and gestured a hand down the hall. “Mum brought dinner home and Nora just got here. Unless you two would rather stay up here and ignore the rest of us?”
“Actually we would love that,” I said, grinning wolfishly.
Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “Fine. I’ll just take Nora into my bedroom then and?—”
“Let’s go downstairs!” Dean announced loudly from behind me. I laughed softly but stepped outside and he came out behind me. We followed Sebastian downstairs to the dining room, where Nora, Ainsley, and Imogen were putting food on the table. Mum appeared a moment after us with plates in her hands and she smiled widely when she saw us.
“Dean, I didn’t realize you were here!” she said warmly, crossing the room quickly to wrap him up in a hug. “How have you been, hun?”
“I’m great, Jennifer,” he said with a smile. I swear his back even straightened like he thought talking to my mum required a polite voice and straight posture. “Thanks so much for inviting us to dinner.”
“You’re always welcome here,” Mum said. Then, as if Dean were a child, she pinched his cheek. I squeezed my eyes shut, cringing deeply from embarrassment, but when I opened my eyes again, Dean didn’t seem bothered at all. Mum moved on to chat with Nora and I sidled up beside Dean.
“I’m so sorry she’s like that,” I muttered.
“Like what?” Dean asked, glancing at me. I stared at him in disbelief.
“She pinched your cheek like you’re three years old.”
He shrugged good-naturedly. “At least she likes me. And she’s not afraid of showing it—not a bad quality in a parent, don’t you think?”
I flushed from embarrassment again, but this time it was because it didn’t occur to me what Mum liking Dean would mean to him. His parents never showed him affection or happily invited his friends around like this. Of course he would enjoy it.I didn’t need to apologize to him or imply that it was something bad.
I sat down in my usual spot, but Dean hovered momentarily as Nora took the spot he normally would—the one next to Sebastian. We’d never had both of them over at the same time before so it hadn’t been an issue. The only other open spot was on the other side of me, at the head of the table where Dad used to sit. My chest still clenched whenever we sat in here and I saw it empty, a permanent reminder of how our family had changed. The panic attacks and most of the grieving feelings had been subsiding since the day I talked to him when I was dropping Imogen off a couple of weeks ago, like that was the closure I needed to work through it all, but I still had the occasional lingering feelings like this. Maybe because it was not only a reminder of what our family looked like now, but that it would be like that forever.
I stood back up and offered Dean the chair I’d been sitting in. He looked at me in confusion until I stepped over and sat down in Dad’s chair. Everyone watched me as I did, but I pretended not to notice as I scooted the chair in. When nobody said anything for another two minutes, I cleared my throat.
“So, what are we eating?” I asked. Dean finally took the hint and sat down in the chair I’d left vacant for him, while Mum started opening the takeout containers and passing them around. Within minutes, the dining room was filled with cheerful voices again, as if the awkward period of silence never happened. Dean’s hand found mine on the table and squeezed. I interlocked my fingers with his and smiled. And suddenly, I wished I was able to pause time to stay in this moment, me and my chosen family.
I would stay here forever with them—withhim—if I could.
epilogue
ONE YEAR LATER
Autumn in British Columbia was colder than I was used to, but I didn’t mind too much. I just pulled on a jean jacket over my jumper—and it did still feel odd to be choosing my outfits every day instead of a uniform—and brought a coffee to keep me warm as I sat on a bench on campus and waited for my boyfriend to meet me.
It had all come together like fate. Dean and I made an agreement early on that we wouldn’t make decisions on where we would go for university based on each other. We would both rather make a long-distance relationship work than risk resenting each other because we gave up our dreams. We knew we were applying to many of the same programs, but it wasn’t a guarantee of getting into the same place or choosing the same one.
Until it was exactly what we did.
