Page 43 of I Would Stay Forever
“You have…” He gestured generally at his cheek. I swiped a hand over it, hoping to brush it away, but his smile only grew. I turned so I could use the mirror to help me, but he put a hand to my chin and turned my head back to face him.
“What are…” The words died on my lips as he gently swiped his thumb along my cheek. My breath caught in my chest as I felt him. It was just like that night at the party, where I was all too aware of how easy it would be to kiss him. All it would take would be leaning in and…
He pulled back and held up his finger. “Ketchup,” he explained. Then he wiped it off with a napkin, taking themoment with him. I blinked and looked away, mumblingthank youunder my breath. Dean glanced at the clock. “We should probably get back to school, huh?”
For how much I’d complained about coming out with him, those words put a sinking feeling in my chest. He was absolutely right—we should leave if we wanted to get to class on time—but I wasn’t quite ready for this to end.
Dean turned the car back on but he didn’t pull out of the spot immediately. When I looked over curiously, he was watching me.
“Do you really think he wouldn’t be okay with it?” he asked. I had to assume he meant Sebastian.
“I’m not sure,” I admitted. I didn’t think he would welcome the idea with open arms, given how much we’d kept our friend groups separate previously, but I also wasn’t sure how angry he would be or what he would do about it. “But I can’t let him control my life.”
I stared at him for a long moment, wanting to find the words to say, “Will you let him control yours?” but not knowing how. It was different for Dean, since they were friends, not siblings. Sebastian had spent so much of his life trying to protect me, but I would need to gain independence from him at some point, and I felt like I was within my rights to spend time with Dean.
“I’m glad to hear that,” Dean said. He turned to look over his shoulder as he pulled out of the parking space, so I couldn’t see his face as he added, “Because I wasn’t planning on giving you up.”
twenty-one
Wednesday was easilythe most chaotic day of my week. I had school, volleyball practice, and a meeting with Dean for the project. I was practically dead on my feet by the time we were packing up our textbooks in the library.
“Are you going to Sebastian’s soccer game?” Dean asked as I stood up. I froze. With everything going on this week, I’d completely forgotten tonight was Sebastian’s first match. I glanced at my phone for the time and sighed as I realized it was starting in less than twenty minutes. There went my plans to get a burrito for dinner then pass out as soon as I got home.
“Are you?” I asked him.
“Of course.” He swung his backpack over his shoulder and we walked out of the library together. Because we’d both had team practices after school, we were practically the last people in the building and I wasn’t worried about anyone spotting us. The only other people who might be around were those here for the soccer match, but they would all be outside. The school felt like a ghost town.
“I guess I’ll drop my bag off in my car then try to find my sisters,” I said. I pulled the scrunchie out of my hair, sighing in relief as the tension on my scalp eased, and raked my handsthrough my hair. I was slowly getting a headache, but hopefully it wouldn’t hit entirely until the game was over.
“I’ll come with you,” Dean said. “Might as well sit with you guys.”
It was a completely innocent offer, and not something out of the ordinary, but after the past few days, it felt like a much more loaded proposition. I had half a mind to tell him no, but then I’d have to explain why—and what excuse could I give other than that I was worried my family might realize how close we were getting? It had only been a day since I reassured him I didn’t care what Sebastian thought. How would this look?
“Great,” I said.
It was easy enough to find Ainsley, Imogen, and my mum in the crowd of spectators at the match, although the crowd was huge—soccer may not have been a huge sport at every school, but it was at Parkhurst Prep. It rivalled football in popularity, a fact I frequently teased Dean about. Ainsley and Imogen were fully decked out for the game in blue and silver, along with Sebastian’s jersey number written on their cheeks. When they asked why I hadn’t done the same, I lied and said I came straight from volleyball practice and didn’t have time, not wanting to admit that I’d forgotten all about this.
None of them batted an eye at the fact that Dean and I were walking up together, probably assuming we’d run into each other in the parking lot. If anybody noticed how stiff I was sitting next to Dean for the whole game—noticing every time he accidentally brushed my leg or flushing whenever he whispered something in my ear, innocent as the words may be—they didn’t say anything. Before I knew it, the game was over and I was being dragged out for dinner, with Dean coming along of course.
“To Sebastian’s first win of the season,” Mum said, holding her glass up in a toast. We all raised our glasses as well, Ainsley and Imogen cheering a little bit. Sebastian looked awaybashfully, but I knew he liked the attention. Even the waiter recognized our school colors when she came by, telling us that she was a Parkhurt Prep alum herself and offering us dessert on the house to celebrate when Mum told her that Sebastian was on the team.
“I bet it’s going to be a no-loss this season,” Imogen announced as we were eating dessert. Sebastian elbowed her in the side.
“It’s only the first game,” he reminded her. “Don’t jinx it.”
She just stuck her tongue out at him, showing off the chocolate on her teeth, although I did think he had a point. The moment you put something like that in the universe, it was destined to fall apart.
“Nah, I think she’s right,” Dean said. He was sitting across from Sebastian, which meant he was right next to me, and I was painfully aware of it. Just like always, half my attention was taken up by my noticing him—his foot brushing mine under the table, how he had to lean down next to me when he dropped his napkin, and his arm that was casually draped on the back of my chair as if he wanted to put his arm around me but knew that he couldn’t, so he got stuck halfway. Logically, I knew he didn’t actually want to put his arm around me, but it was hard for my brain to recognize that whenever his fingers brushed my spine. Every little incident that I’d had with him over the last few weeks had been building up until suddenly he didn’t look quite like the same Dean I always knew.
“Well, what about you then?” Sebastian countered. “Think the football season’s gonna be no losses?”
“No chance,” Dean snorted, and we all laughed.
“See? He knows it’s a jinx,” Sebastian said, pointing a finger at him. “He knows that if he says it’s going to be, then he’s gonna lose next week.”
The first football game of the season was supposed to be on Friday, but it was announced today that the other school had to back out. That might have been part of the reason the turn out for the soccer match today had been a bit heavier, as everyone knew it was the only match they would see this week.
“How’s the football team looking this year?” Ainsley asked, leaning forward and cupping her chin in her hand. She looked at him the same way she looked at Sebastian: staring at a big brother with all the awe in the world. I wondered if Imogen felt the same way—and whether I should too. But I guess they hadn’t had the regular pleasure of seeing him walk around his house shirtless through their window, so it was hard for them to know what they were missing out on.
