Page 70 of Worth the Heat
I don’t respond. Julian and Sebastian can say those things, but they can’t predict the future. If a girl could easily infiltrate my silly underground book club, what else could these people do?
A wave of nausea overtakes me as I realize they’ve probably already scoped out the Clubhouse. “There were two prospects that creeped me out. I’ve only been to the Clubhouse a couple of times, and was there once with these two guys. It’s the first time Sebastian sort of ‘claimed’ me,” I use air quotes, “and then explained why he wanted everyone to know I was spoken for. What if they’ve already gotten cameras or devices in there, listening to everything?”
“Then my son will handle it. Honestly, these degenerates are coming after the wrong group of guys. Every single man in RMRRMC has at least five years of military experience. Some of them finished their full twenty years. They’ve got SEALs, Army Rangers, Intel, and combat veterans. I have no doubt your four brothers will be involved in Sebastian’s plan, and I’m not too proud to admit that your brother Leo scares me a little bit,” Julian says with a wry chuckle, making me smile.
“I think he scares most of my family, actually,” I answer.
“He’s a bit intense. I know he was injured overseas, and those experiences change people. Coming back to civilian life, when you’re physically and mentally not the same person as when you left, is undoubtedly incredibly challenging. Has he confided in anyone about what happened?”
I shake my head. “Certainly not me. I don’t think he’s told his twin, my sister Gianna, either. If anyone could get it out of him, it would be our oldest brother, Alex. Their shared military experience is probably why. But Leo has always kept his thoughts and feelings close to his chest. Him internalizing things isn’tsomething new, but there’s an air of anger and frustration I’ve never seen with him before.”
“Sebastian is going to get him to join the Range Riders,” Julian says nonchalantly.
“How? I thought you had to ride. Leo doesn’t, or at least he didn’t. Now I’m not sure if hecan.”
“It’s not a requirement. Studies have shown that men establish bonds over shared likes or activities, but for Leo, it’s more important for him to have an outlet with other veterans who know what he’s been through, or men that can at least understand the risks of a deployment.”
“That’s true,” I murmur. It could be so good for Leo to find a support group who empathize with him. Dom recommended a therapist when Leo first came home, and Dom was lucky to walk away unscathed. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Leo so pissed off. We have a lot of big personalities in our family, but I always felt like Leo and I were cut from the same cloth. However, that last deployment really changed him. Now he’s been medically retired, and I think he’s quite lost. He’s living in Natalie’s old studio apartment while doing odd jobs around Everlasting to help out the family.
I hear the sliding door open, and I turn to find Sebastian and his mom. They’re talking softly as they approach us, but Seb smiles at me when our eyes meet. Julian and I stand to greet them, and Seb slides an arm around my waist.
“IsAbuelastill in the car?” Sebastian asks.
I nod. “She said she wasn’t getting out until it was time to leave.”
“Stubborn woman,” Sebastian’s mom, Gabriela, mutters. “We’ll talk tomorrow. You have a lovely family, Isabella. I’m familiar with your mother and grandmother, but it was fun to meet your siblings and their families. I imagine we’ll have many more Garcia-Santo events in the future.”
Once they leave, Sebastian motions for me to sit back down on the swing, and he sits beside me, slinging an arm over my shoulders and pulling me into his side. “How are you feeling?”
“Overwhelmed,” I say with a sigh. “I don’t exactly regret messing up Rick’s apartment, but if I knew then what I know now, I never would have gone anywhere close to his space.”
“I know,” he murmurs, placing a soft kiss against my temple. “Is there anything else you have questions about? How can I help ease some of your anxiety?”
Turning, I stare at him. “Promise me you won’t do anything dumb.”
“What?” he says with a chuckle.
“I’m serious. Promise me you won’t be an idiot and sacrifice yourself to try and save me.”
The smile dies on his face. “Isabella, I —”
I interrupt. “No. Don’t try to justify anything you might do. I just told you I’m in love with you. But what I haven’t said, and what I think is imperative for you to know, is that I know I won’t survive if something happens to you. It isn’t about me being heartbroken. It’s that I will be completely broken and incapable of moving on. Maybe I’ve always known I’d fall so damn hard that it would destroy me, and that’s why I haven’t trusted my heart to anyone. Until you. But I also know you, Ifeelyour heart, and I can see you sacrificing yourself to save me.”
The tortured expression on Sebastian’s face will haunt me. “What am I supposed to do, then, if it’s you or me? How the fuck am I supposed to move on if I know you were hurt or died because of me? I can’t live with that guilt. I can’t fucking live without you,mi Reina. My queen. I call you my fucking queen, Isabella, because my entire kingdom will cease to exist if you’re not in it.”
“What about Camila?” I whisper, and he closes his eyes, torment evident in how he slumps against the back of the swing. “She can’t lose you, Sebastian. Sure, she has grandparents. But it isn’t the same as having you in her life. You can’t do that to her.”
“How am I supposed to pick between you? How can I pick between the one who lives in my heart, and the woman who feeds my soul? My daughter is desperate for you to be her mother. What will I tell her if something happens to you?”
I throw a leg over Sebastian’s thighs, straddling him, so I can grab his face. “Something might happen to me tomorrow, Seb.”
“Don’t you even suggest that. Don’t put that shit out into the universe,” he growls, his eyes suddenly heated and volatile.
“But it’s true. Something could happen to you as well. We can’t predict the future. All I’m asking is for you not to go out of your way to stack the deck for my benefit.”
Pain slashes across his face as he reluctantly nods. “I don’t like talking about this. I don’t like the ‘what if’ game.”
“Typically, I’m the one playing the ‘what if’ game, and you’re the one being the glass-half-full guy, with never-ending optimism about the future. This is an interesting turn of events,” I tease, and he manages to give me a half smile. “I can’t spend however long it is before the guys are caught, thinking about you getting hurt. My anxiety is high enough as it is, but focusing on the negatives will make it skyrocket. I’m trusting that you and your men have things under control. And what you can’t do, the authorities will cover just fine.”
