Page 7 of Worth the Heat
Arianna: Poor Hannah. She’s clearly struggling with her husband’s bone.
Hannah: Are you really talking about your brother’s dick?
Arianna: Crap. Ignore me.
Natalie: I’m only a couple of chapters into the book, so don’t spoil anything!
Gianna: Didn’t Nonna pick this one?
Me: If she picked a JT Geissinger book, I’m going to have a heart attack at the meeting.
Kate: It wouldn’t be bad if she didn’t INSIST on pantomiming one of the spicy scenes with whatever baked goodies you have us make.
Hannah: Honestly, I’m still surprised no man in Eternity knows about our underground Cock Cookie Club. When Luca asked what CCC stood for, I told him Critical Cookie Club. I still can’t believe he bought it.
Gianna: Travis knows, but he doesn’t care. He benefits from me reading any kind of romance books, whether it involves sexy cookies or not.
Arianna: Stone says the same about the books, but he doesn’t know about the baked goods. He’s too close with Alex and Dom. Once one of them finds out, they’ll all know.
Hannah: What are we making this month, Bells?
Me: It’s a surprise.
It’s only a surprise because I completely spaced on book club being next week, and I don’t have anything planned. My bakery has a small basement that is perfect for an intimate book club meeting. After reading a book by Amy Daws that involved a main character making charcuterie boards that she renamed ‘Cockuterie’ boards, I had a moment of inspiration. How often do we see baked goods accidentally turn into phallic shapes because of incorrect ingredients? Why not do it purposely?
That’s how the Triple C group came about. I can fit eighteen women in the bakery basement, which only leaves a little over half the seats available for other residents besides my family members. Gianna and Arianna are my only sisters, while Hannah, Kate, and Natalie have married my brothers. My mom andNonnaboth attend, althoughNonnaembarrasses the hell out of everyone with her antics. While she claims she hasn’t been with another man since my grandfather passed away, she certainly has a very vivid imagination.
Or she was a freak with my grandfather.
Me: We’ll have a new member joining us since Carol moved out of town, so try to behave, ladies.
Natalie: You better tell Nonna that too.
Me: She won’t listen, so why bother?
Kate: God bless Nonna. She’s my favorite Santo.
Arianna: You’re married to one.
Kate: I said what I said.
Laughing, I turn off the screen and toss my phone onto the chair next to me. Butterscotch takes the opportunity to stand up, stretch, and climb onto my stomach. One slow blink later, and he begins kneading my soft tummy, purring loudly.
“I love you too,” I tell him, absentmindedly scratching his neck, before wincing as his claws breach my shirt and dig into my skin. “But I’ll only let you have at it for about thirty more seconds. I’d rather not bleed through my shirt.”
He chuffs at me as if he’s only slightly offended, and jumps down of his own accord. I follow him into the kitchen, where he waits patiently for me to gift him with a small treat. I’m not sure who trained who here, if I’m being honest.
Sitting at my island, I grab a claw clip from a bowl in the middle, securing my hair in a messy French twist, then pull up Pinterest on my laptop. I need to find a suitable dessert for book club.
The first few months of meeting, it was easy to come up with a dessert. But we can only make so many dick and boob desserts before it becomes monotonous. That’s when I had to start getting creative. The ladies were big fans of the ‘dick on a stick’ cookie, where the tip was dipped in melted white chocolate. They alsoenjoyed the coffle: a waffle shaped like a cock. We even made soft pretzel penises one time.
Finding actual recipes for penile-shaped baked goods isn’t an exact science. Usually I skim through my favorite Pinterest pastry boards until I find an idea that strikes a chord with me. My mind takes over, imagining different ingredients, and how easily the item could be shaped. Any cookie can be molded into a penis shape, but ingredients matter. I’m not making chocolate chip cookies here. It would look like the poor penis had a bad STD. But a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie? That could work. An eclair with the perfect cream filing? The book club ladies were simply feral for that one.
At the beginning, we used our hands to shape our creations. They were never perfect, and it bothered me. No one wants a lumpy dick in their mouth, whether a pastry or not. So I found a small custom boutique online that specialized in 3D printing anything and everything. Was the guy who I spoke with slightly confused when I asked for twenty silicone dick molds? Probably. I clearly heard him gasp on the phone when I said they needed to be nine inches in length, though. It’s a romance book club. If we’re building penises, they need to be above average ones.
I’m sure he’s going to love me when I contact him in the future about making vagina molds. While easier to shape with our hands, a proper silicone mold will make everyone happy.
Me. It’ll make me happy.
