Page 27 of His Dirty Obsession
I was running out of ideas, though. Something was holding me back from telling him. I just didn’t know what that was or why.
“What if I get a hard-on?” I asked. This was a genuine fear.
“What if you do? I won’t be complaining, and I’m sure no one in the audience will either. Let’s face it, Xavier, it’s a show about strippers. I’m sure they’ll love it. I know I will.”
He hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but it was still early, just past six a.m. I needed to be at the theatre by eleven, time for a last costume fitting and run-through.
Curtain up was at eight in the evening. A whole day of nerves and worry. A day I wished we could just stay in bed together until it was time, doing naughty things to each other to take my mind off it.
“Come here.” Ben turned onto his back and lifted his arm, inviting me to snuggle in. I loved it when he did this. He was soft and cuddly in all the right places, usually the big spoon to my little one, even though we were similar in height.
He kissed my temple. “You’ll be fine. Now go back to sleep. You’ve got a big day ahead of you.”
He was right. I needed my sleep, but I had so many thoughts running through my head; the play, the upcoming party at his parents’ and sex. Always the sex. Did he not find me attractive? Was I just a placeholder until that friend of his came back from wherever he’d gone to?
I did not need these thoughts today. I was supposed to be relaxing, chilling out, not doubting this very new relationship we had going on. It was no good, though. I couldn’t sleep, not for love nor money.
“I can’t sleep. I’ll go make some coffee. Carry on sleeping.” I slid out of bed, grabbing a pair of sweats from the floor. I wasn’t sure if they were mine or Ben’s, but it was getting cool and I wasn’t in the mood to be strutting around naked with the nerves I was feeling today.
I made coffee and took my mug to the lounge, curling up on the sofa. I didn’t want to watch TV; it was far too early for that, and it’d only be the news, anyway. Maybe a book would help or a magazine, but no matter what I started, nothing grabbed my attention.
I checked the time again. It was just after seven. Jesus, time passed slowly when you didn’t want it to. Music helped, always did. I found my phone, putting on my music app and placing my earbuds in. Something relaxing maybe? But I finally settled on some Amy Winehouse. Taken too soon, her words always soothed my soul.
I didn’t have a favourite, so I set the app to shuffle and lay down, eventually falling asleep to her dulcet tones.
“Xavier, wake up. You’re going to be late if you sleep any longer.” I awoke to a featherlight touch down my spine and shivered.
“Just five more minutes,” I mumbled. I really was tired.
“You couldn’t sleep earlier, and now you want to stay here longer. Why did you get up? Why didn’t you stay in bed with me?”
“I couldn’t sleep, I told you. Let me just have a few more minutes. I promise I’ll get up then.” I snuggled in deeper.
“Uh-huh. I believe you. There’s fresh coffee in the kitchen. Get yourself up and dressed. You’ve about an hour before you have to be at the theatre.” The gentle touch turned to a playful slap, and I was wide awake.
“You did not just slap me,” I said, sitting up, mock horror in my voice.
“I did, and I’ll do it again if you don’t get that gorgeous arse of yours in gear. No arguments.”
No, there were no arguments about that, but if it was so gorgeous, why didn’t he want it? Now wasn’t the time to ask. I needed to get moving. I had to shower and grab some food before I left the house.
“Come on, sleepyhead. Get moving.”
I forced myself from the sofa, stumbling into the kitchen to grab more coffee. I sighed as I drank it, but I still did not feel alive and raring to go. It’d take a lot more than that at this point.
“Go grab a shower, and I’ll do some food for you. You need to eat today. Keep your strength up. I’ll look after you. Don’t you worry about that.” He placed a kiss on my lips before pushing me towards the stairs.
Yes, he’d look after me, take care of me and make sure I ate, drank and slept, but he wouldn’t take care of my arse. I mumbled my complaint all the way up the stairs to the bathroom.
“What did you say?” Ben shouted up after me.
“Nothing. I didn’t say anything.” No, I’d keep my mouth shut for a while longer, but I’d need to say something soon. It wasn’t the be all and end all, but knowing that Ben wanted me in that way was important to me, made me feel desired.
After showering and dressing, I grabbed the lunch Ben had made for me, shoving it into the holdall I was taking, complete with a change of clothes.
We’d arranged to go out after the play with some of the cast members, and Ben and Ava were coming along too.
It promised to be a good night. I just needed to get through this first performance.
