Page 62 of Dance With Me
Joe nodded. They walked over and stepped inside. It was a typical seaside cafe, impersonal tables and chairs with glass salt and pepper pots and a bottle of ketchup on each of them. A counter ran along the righthand side of it, and a young girl, no more than sixteen, was waiting to take their order.
“Afternoon, Jimmy. The usual?”
“Yes, please, Georgia, and whatever my friend wants. We’ll be sitting right over there.” Jimmy moved to a table in the window where they could still see the sea.
“I’ll just take a coffee, please,” Joe said, dropping money onto the counter.
“They’ll be right over. Just need to let his tea sit. He hates it when it’s weak.” Georgia laughed.
Joe joined Jimmy at the table, and Bertie lay at his feet, clearly content.
“So, want to tell me what’s up? Might help to talk to a stranger.” Jimmy had such kindness in his eyes, Joe felt it hard to resist. He was a little hesitant at first, unsure how he would react to a story about two men, but once he started, he felt he couldn’t stop.
He didn’t even notice when Georgia came over with their drinks and carried on, telling him about Clare, Seb, and the baby. How he felt about Seb, felt about Clare, and ultimately how he felt about maybe being a father.
Joe hadn’t allowed himself to think about the baby, too wrapped up in his pain at losing Seb, his anger at Clare, and the thought that he might be alone. He felt he was alive but barely breathing at the moment.
“Do you want the baby, son? You don’t strike me as the type of man that would turn his back on this.”
“I wouldn’t. As much as Clare has hurt me, I won’t abandon her or the baby. Not saying I’m rushing down the aisle with her. I don’t think I could do that now.” Joe paused for a moment, not sure how to word how he was feeling. “I don’t love her, Jimmy, but I won’t let the baby down.”
“What about this Seb you talked about? How do you think he feels about all this? Sounds like he was pretty upset.”
“He was, and I feel awful for not following him right away, for going back to Clare. If I had, maybe I wouldn’t have lost him.” Joe spun his now empty coffee cup in his hand. “I just hope I haven’t missed my chance with him. “
“Would you have gone through with the wedding even if you hadn’t met him? Sounds to me like you and this Clare were not getting on so well. And you think she was being unfaithful?” Jimmy’s questions were forcing Joe to think about things, maybe talking to a stranger was helping.
“I would have called the wedding off even if I hadn’t met Seb. It wasn’t working with Clare and me, and it just seems so glaringly obvious now that after almost five years together, we’d just grown apart. I’d rather take my chances on my own than be tied in a marriage neither of us wanted. I’m not convinced Clare wants to get married anymore. She’s not really been in touch since she left, and she’s seemed happier being away from me these past few months.”
“You need to do what makes you happy, Joe. Life really is too short to try to please everyone else. Do what your heart tells you to do. I think you owe it to yourself to see what Seb has to say. Explain to him that even if there is a baby that you still want him, but he needs to know that the baby is part of you, part of your life, and unfortunately that will mean that Clare’s always going to be there. If he can’t handle that, then perhaps he isn’t the man you thought he was. I’m not saying he won’t be, but you need someone that can cope with it all, the bad as well as the good.”
Joe was trying to take in everything Jimmy had said. He knew what he wanted, and that was Seb and the baby—if it was his. They’d both have to put up with Clare, and whilst he knew he would be able to deal with her once the shock had worn off for both of them, he hoped Seb would be able to as well. He wanted him in his life. Fuck it, when did everything become so complicated?
“Well, time for me to get going. I’m glad you could talk to me, and I hope it all turns out the way you want it to. I’m sure it will. True love is worth waiting for, and you deserve it, Joe. You seem like a good man. I just hope Seb and Clare realise that. Thanks for the tea, and maybe I’ll see you around again.”
Joe stood and offered his hand, but Jimmy pulled him into a hug.
“Good luck, son.” Jimmy patted him on the back, then walked away. “Come on, Bertie. Time to go home.”
Joe walked back to his car, deep in thought. He needed to make things right with Clare, and he supposed he should visit his parents. He’d told them over the phone that he’d called the wedding off and that he needed time to think.
That time had now passed, and he had to get his life back on track. Time to get back to work and time to figure out how to let Seb know that he was still serious, that he still wanted him.
Joe’s future and his heart were in Seb’s hands at this point. He just hoped he’d be gentle with them and not crush them beyond repair.
The following couple of weeks were filled with work, meals with his parents and his sister. He visited with Hazel and Dave and tried his best not to dwell on the man he loved. He knew he wasn’t back yet through the occasional text with Natalia, although she was reluctant to tell him even that much, let alone if she knew when he’d be back.
Everything for the wedding had been cancelled, and the relief Joe felt was immense, like a huge weight had been lifted. He hoped that when Seb returned, he’d see that he was serious about him and their relationship—only time would tell. He just needed him to come back, come home.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Seb
Seb returned to Chester the second week in July, the week before Natalia and Louis were due to move down to London and a few days before Joe and Clare’s wedding was due to take place. He entered the apartment to see boxes stacked in the hallway.
“Natalia, you home?” Seb shouted.
“We’re in the kitchen,” she replied.
