Page 59 of Dance With Me
“Is Seb here?” Joe asked, panic in his voice.
“No, I haven’t seen him since yesterday. Is there a problem?” Hayden looked concerned.
Joe didn’t stay to answer him but dashed next door to the studio. He burst through the door, not caring if there was a lesson going on. Dom and Nat were on their own, sitting at the table Joe and Seb had shared lunch over.
“Where is he? I need to speak to him.” Joe walked over to where they were sitting. “I have to see him. He’s blocked my calls.” He was close to tears but was trying to hold them back.
Dom looked at him, suspicion in his eyes. “He’s gone and won’t be back.”
Joe let out a strangled sound. “He can’t be gone. I need to speak to him, to explain. Please call him. Tell him.”
Natalia stood up and looked him in the eye. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. He asked us not to tell you where he was going. He said he needed a clean break.”
Joe dropped his head, his cheeks wet now. The tears didn’t stop. Why did he feel this way? He hadn’t known Seb for that long, but he’d managed to burrow under his skin, broken through all his defences, and even though it was fast, Joe knew that he loved him. Fuck. He felt raw, turned inside out.
How had this happened? He’d done everything right. He’d called off the wedding before even making a move, and after only one kiss, it had all been ripped away from him, from them both. Then Clare had stepped in, spouting words that only God knew whether or not they were true, and Seb had fled.
He couldn’t blame him. He knew that he’d wanted to wait and not be the other man, but now? With the potential of a baby in the picture? He understood his reasoning behind it, but fuck did it hurt.
Finally, he looked up and saw nothing but compassion on the faces of Dom and Natalia. Joe wiped his eyes. Tears weren’t going to help him now. He needed to try to sort himself out, decide what he was going to do.
He knew that Seb wouldn’t be away forever. He’d mentioned that Natalia was moving to London in about a month, and as much as he hated to do it, he’d bide his time until his return if he had to and talk to him then. Unless, of course, he decided to not come back.
“If he calls, just tell him I need to speak to him. I’m not giving up on us. He has to believe that. Will you take my number, just in case?” Joe was beside himself. He’d never felt this way before, ever.
Natalia put his number in her phone and promised she’d let him know if she heard anything.
He took one last look around and left the studio, not knowing if he’d ever step foot in there again.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Seb
Seb had been home for just over a week now. He’d told his parents about the stalker, about the photos and the messages. They’d understandably been upset that he hadn’t told them about this before and they’d hovered, constantly asking if he was OK or if he had heard any more. He knew his parents were concerned for him, but he just wanted to be left alone with his heartache.
Fortunately, there’d been no further contact since he’d changed his telephone number. He’d spoken with Dom and Natalia almost every day, and they had nothing more to report either. He purposefully hadn’t asked about Joe after the first time Dom had mentioned he’d been to the studio the day he left. He couldn’t bear to think about what he’d lost.
Dom had told him he’d been upset, crying no less, and even though it pained him to think of Joe hurting, he had to protect his heart. He told him he didn’t want to hear anymore; he was trying his best to forget. He spent most of his time helping his parents in the garden, walking Rocco, and Skyping with Ben and Becky. He worked out every day, doing yoga and dancing, and he’d even taken up running, but still he felt like he was slowly going mad. He’d initially thought to stay for two weeks, and he was thinking that was going to be his maximum.
Seb had yet to tell his parents about Joe, although they knew something else was wrong. He hadn’t confided in them, but he couldn’t disguise his hurt and often found himself gazing into the distance, brooding over Joe and their one and only kiss. His heart hurt, even more so than when Daniel had left him.
He needed to snap out of this. Clare was pregnant, and Joe was the father. He was stupid to think that in all the time they’d known each other, Clare and Joe wouldn’t have had sex. He wasn’t naïve.
His current feelings of heartbreak quickly morphed into annoyance, not really at Joe but certainly at Clare, himself, and the situation. He’d known better than to get involved with someone already in a relationship, yet he hadn’t been able to stay away. He’d fallen for him anyway. Didn’t make it any easier to swallow, though.
A couple of days into his stay, he had a Skype call with his brother, Ben, and his boyfriend, Harry. He had to end the call when his jealously got the better of him, seeing how happy they were together was more than he could cope with. He’d been so close to having it all only to have it snatched from his grasp. He vowed to call his brother and apologise, he couldn’t believe how rude he’d been.
After the call he retreated to his room and lay on his bed for hours, Rocco at his side. His dog hadn’t left him since they’d arrived. He seemed to sense Seb’s morose mood. Seb tried not to wallow in self-pity and knew he needed to snap out of it. They’d shared one kiss, one fantastic, meaningful kiss, and that was it. Only it wasn’t, was it? It was the weeks of meeting up, the night at the beach, the weekend they’d spent together where Joe had confessed his attraction, and all the other things that made up their complicated, beautiful relationship.
He’d unwittingly ended up in a love triangle, and he hated knowing he was the one that would be left alone, his life as much of a mess as when he lost Daniel. Crying wouldn’t solve anything, but he couldn’t stop the tears that flowed and soaked his pillow.
“What am I going to do, buddy? I was so fucking stupid, got so drawn in—only to have it snatched out of my grasp like that. I think we should go ahead and book that holiday, don’t you, boy?”
Rocco looked up at him and licked his face.
“I don’t suppose you do, though, because if I go with Dom and Hayden, there’ll be no one to look after you, baby. I’ll have to put you in the kennel.”
Rocco looked at him. Even his eyes looked sad. Was he missing Joe too?
