Page 43 of Dance With Me
“I’m calling off the wedding.”
Jayne and Aidan looked at him in shock.
“You’re doing what?” Jayne asked, her eyes wide. “What the hell is going on, Joe? I thought you were happy. It’s in five weeks; the hen weekend is this weekend.”
“I know, I know all that, but I can’t go through with it. I’ve thought long and hard, and it’s not what I want anymore.She’snot who I want anymore.”
“What have you done, Joe?” Jayne laid her hand on his arm.
“I haven’tdoneanything… yet. But I have met someone, and before you say anything, I haven’t cheated or made a move on him. It’s really early stages, and it might not even amount to much, but I can’t in all good conscience go ahead with the wedding if I’m feeling this way.”
Jayne went to interrupt, but Joe held his hand up.
“Let me just explain first, and maybe you’ll understand. Shall we go and sit somewhere more comfortable?” He picked up his drink, and they made their way to the lounge and sat on the sofas.
He took a deep breath.
“Clare wanted us to learn a dance for the wedding and picked out a tutor that one of her friends knew. A guy, his name is Seb.” He pushed his hand through his hair and took another deep breath. “We’ve been going there for about seven weeks now, and to help things along, I asked him to give me extra lessons. We’ve been meeting a couple of times a week to dance. That’s all it’s been, before you say anything.
“Clare doesn’t know about the additional lessons. I wanted it to be a surprise, to show her how good I was. I didn’t think that I’d fall for Seb, though. He’s attractive, funny, easy to get along with—everything Clare isn’t. Not now, anyway.” He looked at Jayne and Aidan, their shock evident. He knew he had to try to explain his decision more.
“After Clare and I got engaged, things were still going well, but the relationship started going downhill. It’s hard to explain. Clare began taking on more shifts and staying out more with her friends. I was making excuses to not be at home when she was. There was so much tension in the air, and I can’t say it was all her; it was me too. I realised, before even meeting Seb, that I was missing something, but I didn’t know what. I think you picked up on that when we were at lunch a while ago.” He looked over at Jayne, and she was nodding.
“I did think something was up; I just didn’t know what,” she confirmed.
“Anyway, we went out a week or so ago with some of Clare’s colleagues, and whilst we were there, I saw Seb with his friends, and this is where it gets complicated.” Joe wasn’t sure how to explain this part, but he had to try.
“Seb was dancing with his friend, Dom, and I was so fucking jealous, I was ready to flatten the guy. I have never felt anything like that before, and it made me look at my relationship with Clare and really think about who I wanted to be with. The answer was, I wanted to try and be with Seb and not Clare. I’m not sure yet whether he feels the same about me, but I suspect he does, and I want to explore that, see if we could make it work.” He sat and waited for someone to say something.
“If this is how you’re feeling, Joe, then I think you should call it off. It’s the only fair thing to do, for you and for Clare, but why not do it now? Why are you here and not there telling her before the weekend?” Aidan asked.
Joe thought about this for a moment. How could he say what he was feeling without looking like a selfish bastard? The answer was, he couldn’t.
“Truthfully? I know she was looking forward to seeing her family this weekend, and her friends have paid upfront for accommodation and spas; some of them have made arrangements for childcare, too. If I call it off now, people will lose money, and I suppose I just want her to have some fun before I ruin it all.” He didn’t add that he was hoping to spend some time with Seb and tell him how he feltandthat he was calling the wedding off.
“Well, that’s admirable, Joe, but I think you’re wrong. I think you should tell her.” Jayne didn’t look happy.
“I know you think I’m doing this all wrong, but I’ve made up my mind. We’re going to have to agree to disagree on this one.” Joe would not be swayed on this. Hehadmade his mind up.
“I can see it from both sides, though, Jayne,” Aidan admitted. “I can understand why he wants to wait, and I think I agree with him. Do you know what you’re going to say yet? Because I think you need to have this all planned out before you just go in with your big feet and make a mess of it. Take the weekend to think about what you’re going to say and tell her when she comes back.”
“Mmm, you might have a point there.” Jayne turned to Joe. “Maybe he’s right. Take this weekend to decide how you’re going to say it. Either way, it’s not going to go well. What about all the money you’ll lose? I’m assuming everything is paid up.”
“It is, but I don’t care about the money. I’m more concerned with our happiness, and I don’t think mine is with Clare anymore. I’m not positive it’s with Seb either, but I’d be a fool if I went ahead with the wedding. I know you don’t think so, but it’s for the best.”
Jayne reached across and took his hand. “I agree that you need to call it off if this is how you’re thinking, and if you say this Seb hasn’t had a bearing on your decision, then I’ll stand by you. You’re my big brother, after all, and I’d be a terrible sister if I didn’t support you.”
“Honestly, Jayne, my decision has nothing to do with Seb and everything to do with how Clare and I have been getting on lately. Meeting Seb just made me realise that things weren’t right between us and that I needed to end it. I hope you can see that and when you meet him, I hope that you won’t hold it against him. It’s really not his fault at all.”
“I promise. I’m sure he’s a great guy, and if he turns out to be the one, I’ll be happy for you.”
“There is one more thing.” He paused, unsure whether to tell them the rest of his misgivings. “And this is the one that I wasn’t going to mention but full disclosure, I suppose, under the circumstances. I think Clare might be having an affair. I don’t want to go too much into specifics until I’m totally sure, but just a few little things haven’t been adding up with her.”
“Jesus, Joe. Why didn’t you mention this before?” Jayne looked even more shocked than when he mentioned calling the wedding off.
“Because I’m not one hundred percent. It’s just a feeling, just little niggles, and I need to speak to her about it before I can say for sure. When I know something, I’ll let you know.”
He checked his watch and realised how late it had gone. All this talking had left him exhausted.
