Page 40 of Ashes To Ashes
"I've got some things on my mind now that your son and Gus have left my employ."
"Ah. I was wondering if you were going to bring it up or if I should."
"You are welcome to remain here, madam, whether Seth is present or not. I gave my word."
She squeezed his arm gently. Her eyes misted but quickly cleared and she resumed the mask of nobility again. It had to be a mask, he'd decided. This woman had run off with her footman, of all people. Sheseemedabove such things, yet apparently she wasn't. Not that he was the best judge of character, particularly where Lady Vickers was concerned. He didn't understand her at all.
"You are a true gentleman, Mr. Fitzroy. Thank you. If Seth comes to me for advice, I will tell him in no uncertain terms that he must return here. He made an unwise decision, and I'm deeply troubled by it."
"But you don't want him to be my servant."
"No, I don't. But nor do I want him to have nothing, not even a roof over his head. He told me you pay him well, Mr. Fitzroy, and I am not so foolish as to think he's above workingwithyou."
As opposed toforhim. "Do you know where he is?" Lincoln asked.
"No, but I expect him to show his face sooner or later. I am his mother, after all. He can't run away from me too."
Seth wouldn't see it as running away. More like taking a stand. "Thank you, madam, but it's unnecessary. I won't force him to work for me." Coerce, yes, but not force.
He went to walk past her since she made no move to pass him, but she clung to his arm. "Did you go through the calling cards?"
"I haven't had time."
"You had many visitors, as did my Seth. You could both have the pick of the year's debutants." Her eyes lit up with the same gleam he'd seen when she pushed Seth toward eligible women at the ball. Why was she looking at Lincoln like that? "If you want them, that is."
"I don't."
Her grip tightened. She wasn't letting him go yet. "Do you know why I came home to England, Mr. Fitzroy?"
"No." Nor did he want to know. Unfortunately it looked like she was going to keep her hand on his arm until she told him.
"I was lonely. My second husband died, and I'd made few friends in New York. Without friends to introduce me, I wasn't received into the right circles, you see. So I came home to be with my son again."
He nodded. Should he say something too?
"I loved him, you know," she said before he had a chance to think of an appropriate response. "My second husband was a good man, more of a gentleman than my first, even thoughhewas the one born to gentility."
"You don't need to justify your actions to me. I don't care."
"Oh, I know that. That's why I like you so much."
She did? He couldn't tell.
"I expect I'll find myself shunned by English society for some time." She sighed. "There will be crude jokes and snide comments, of course, and I'll need to partner either Seth or your intriguing self if I wish to attend parties." Her strong features softened a little, but there was no other sign that she was bothered by these facts.
"Is there a reason you're telling me this?" he asked.
"I'm telling you because I want you to know that it was worth it. Even if I'd known George wasn't going to live long, and even if I'd known that returning to England would be difficult, I would still have married him."
Her face softened more and Lincoln grew worried that she would cry. He steeled himself. "I see," he said, glancing past her.
Instead of letting go, she held his arm tighter. "I don't think you do. You're trying to escape."
He cleared his throat and gave her his full attention. Shouldn't she be saying these things to Seth? Why did she want to tell Lincoln these personal thoughts when she hardly knew him?
"I loved George very much," she said again. "Even though that love cost me a great deal, I couldn't havenotloved him. I didn't have any choice in the matter. It simply was. Now do you see?"
He saw. He saw that Seth had told his mother more than he should have about Charlie. "I have to go."
