Page 40 of Of Fate and Phantoms
Chapter 6
Lincoln openedhis door before I knocked. He leaned against the door frame, his arms folded, a small smile on his lips. He looked devilishly handsome, with his hair unbound and his jacket and tie discarded, and I suspected he knew it.
"It's disconcerting that you know when I'm about to knock," I said, touching his tie and pretending to straighten it when I really just wanted to touch him.
"And knowing what you want to ask me?" he said.
"You do?" It was a good sign then that he was still smiling. Perhaps he'd decided he needed to talk to Leisl.
"It's either because you want to ask me to press Julia to be more specific, or you want to ravish me." His smile widened ever so slightly. "I know which one I prefer, but I suspect it's the other."
"Actually, you're wrong." I pressed my hands to his chest, enjoying the hardness of his body, the flex of muscle, and the slight uptick in his heart rate. "But they are both excellent suggestions, and a good indication of how your mind works."
His gaze wandered past me, down the hall. He drew my hands away. "Doyle or Bella may come past at any moment."
"Actually, I'm not here to ravish you or discuss Lady Harcourt," I said. "I want to talk about Leisl and why you won't visit her."
Surprise momentarily brightened his eyes before they darkened again. "You're wasting your time."
"Don't dismiss the idea immediately."
"I haven't." He stepped aside and allowed me to enter, then shut the door behind me. "I thought about it then dismissed it. Charlie, there's no point seeing her. She told us everything about her vision on the night of the ball. She said she has no more information for us, and I believe her."
"I don't want you to discuss her vision. I simply want you to talk to her, as a son to his mother."
He lowered his head. "Charlie, I have nothing to say to her, and I doubt she has anything to say to me. She would have approached me if she had."
"Perhaps she didn't know how to find you." I clasped his arms above the elbows and rubbed. The act soothed me but did nothing to smooth away the crease in his brow. "Perhaps she doesn't know how to begin."
"Nor do I."
"Lincoln, do you remember when I met my mother? Her ghost, I mean. It went better than I expected. It was wonderful to meet her, and know that she'd cared for me. The experience soothed an ache within me. Perhaps talking to your mother will help you in the same way."
"I don't need help, and I don't need a mother." The strain in his voice warned me that his temper was close to snapping.
I pressed on anyway. "Perhapssheneedsyou."
"Then she can come here and see me."
"I'll invite her for tea."
He tilted his head and lifted his brows.
"I'll take that to mean you'll get cross if I do," I said.
"I know the idea of us sitting down to tea together appeals to you." He stroked my hair off my forehead, his gaze following the sweep of his hand. "I know you miss your own mother, both your real one and adopted one, and I know you think this is an opportunity to gain a family member. But you have to leave the idea alone. I don't want Leisl to come here and be disappointed that I can't be a proper son to her. Do you understand?"
My throat felt tight and I could feel my eyes filling. "Why can't you be a proper son?"
"I'm not capable. It's not in me."
I cupped his face in my hands. "You didn't think yourself capable of loving anyone a few months ago, and now look at you."
"There's only enough for one." He kissed the end of my nose and cut off my protest. "Now go before I say something I'll regret later."
"This discussion is not over."
"Yes, Charlie, it is." He pulled away and opened the door. He glanced up and down the corridor before stepping aside and allowing me to exit. "Be ready early in the morning. Wear your old boy's clothing." He closed the door before I could protest.
