Page 54 of From the Ashes
"You're going to break in?"
He nodded.
"But you can't! Dr. Fawkner said Dr. Bell sleeps in the laboratory."
"I can handle Bell."
"I know that," I snapped. "The point is, you'll risk exposure and arrest, or worse, if he keeps a gun in his drawer like Dr. Merton at the Lying In hospital."
He was silent a moment, his face impassive. "You sound worried."
"Of course I am! If you die…" I swallowed. "What will happen to me?" I regretted it as soon as I said it. It wasn't at all what had been on my mind, but I couldn't tell him that I cared about his wellbeing. I just couldn't. It was painful enough admitting it to myself.
"You'll have the cottage in Harringay," he said to the window. "There'll also be provisions for you in my will."
"Stop, Lincoln, please. Stop all of the kindness, the sympathetic looks, and the life changing gifts." I fanned out my fingers on my lap, but the stretch did nothing to ease the tension coursing through me. "It's impossible to remain angry with you when you're like that, and Ineedto remain angry with you. It's easier than… It's just easier." I turned to the window, yet I couldn't get his wide-eyed stare out of my mind or the twitch of his lips. Something in my outburst had amused him. I couldn't think what. I'd sounded childishly petulant.
He didn't respond, and neither of us spoke the rest of the way home.
Chapter 11
"No success," Seth said as we sat in the drawing room after dinner. His mother sat with us, reading the newspaper, apparently oblivious to our conversation. We still had to be careful, however, although sometimes I wasn't sure why. If anyone could withstand the shock of learning about magic and supernaturals, it would be Lady Vickers. "The first five gentlemen on the list can all be accounted for on November sixteenth. Three weren't even in London, one had a business meeting, and the fifth was with his mistress all day."
"Did he tell you that?" I asked.
"His mistress did. The mistresses of the other men informed me of their whereabouts too."
"Theyallhave mistresses?"
"It's entirely normal," Lady Vickers said from behind her newspaper. "And all the ladies haveaffairs de coeurtoo, albeit discreetly and after they've finished breeding, of course. Everyone does it. If one doesn't do it, one feels left out."
"That's not true, Mother."
She lowered the corner of her newspaper. "It is true, and Charlie needs to know. If she sets her sights on a good marriage, she ought to go in with her eyes open."
"A good marriage!" Gus echoed. "She ain't gettin' married to anyone but—" He looked to Lincoln.
Lincoln merely stood by the sideboard, his brandy glass dangling by his fingertips. He studied the swirling liquid as if he could see the future in it.
"Charlie?" Seth prompted. "What is my mother talking about?"
"Charlie has agreed to accompany me on social engagements. I think we'll make quite a formidable team with her pretty looks and my knowledge of the right people."
Seth groaned and scrubbed his hand over his face. "You can back out of the agreement," he told me.
"It was your mother's gift to me." I hoped he understood that I couldn't back out without hurting her feelings.
"So you're goin' to balls and such?" Gus asked.
"It depends on what invitations I receive," I said.
"I'll put it about that she's available," Lady Vickers said. "Beginning with tomorrow night at the dinner party. I think she'll be quite the sensation once people get wind of her mysterious background."
Lincoln set down his glass and walked out. I half rose out of instinct, but forced myself to remain seated. "Marriage is a long way off," I told Seth and Gus. "A very long way. I need some time just to be me, and not someone's wife."
Seth drained his brandy glass. "You need a husband who won't treat you merely as a wife, but as a person with a mind of her own." He got up and strode to the sideboard.
"That's very sweet," I said. "It's no wonder all the ladies are charmed by you."
