Page 16 of From the Ashes
Yet overriding all that was sheer relief at the thought of going to London again, and Lichfield in particular. I couldn't wait to see Seth, Gus and Cook. I wanted to ride my horse, sleep in my own bed, roam the estate and see what changes appeared in the winter garden. Being near Lincoln once again was a large part of it, but not all. I doubted I could ever feel the blind adoration I'd felt for him before. His actions had cured me of that.
I was still a little exhausted from my dungeon ordeal, so I went to bed early. I slept better than I had in days. A porter came in the morning to help me with my luggage. Lincoln waited in the foyer, a small brown suitcase at his feet. He picked it up and took mine from the porter.
"Good morning," he said, eyeing me closely. I looked away. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yes."
We didn't speak as we headed to the station across the road. I carried my hat box, which he stored for me above my head in our train compartment. Ourprivatecompartment. It seemed I had to endure his presence for the entire journey.
"How long before we reach London?" I asked as the train rolled away from the station in a cloud of steam and soot.
"We'll be there early afternoon. Are you warm?"
"Warm enough."
Lincoln set his case on the seat beside him and opened it. Sitting atop his spare shirt was a fur muff that he handed to me. Beneath the muff was a book. I recognized it as the one I'd been reading before I left Lichfield. A blue ribbon marked my page. He gave me the muff then held out the book. A small crease appeared between his brows as he realized I couldn't turn pages with my hands inside a muff.
"I'll turn the pages for you," he said.
"That won't be necessary." I handed back the muff and took the book. "My gloves are adequate, thank you." I settled near the window and opened the book to the marked page. I read it twice and still didn't take in a single word.
I gave up after my third attempt at the same page. There would be no concentrating on this task, or any other. I felt much too aware of Lincoln, and my own reaction to him. My heart hadn't ceased its hammering all morning.
I hazarded a glance at him, only to find him looking at me.
"May I ask a question about the threat on your life?" he said.
"You may."
"Was it a result of something the headmistress did to you?"
I shook my head. "It was the Queen of Hearts' fault."
"And she is?"
"A figment of Alice's imagination. Or, rather, her dreams. They come alive sometimes."
His brows lifted. It was the most movement the hard planes of his face had done since greeting me. The old, stony-faced Lincoln Fitzroy certainly hadn't been set aside, even though he had changed his mind and collected me. "She's a supernatural," he said. It wasn't a question.
"She and some others at the school. Aside from Alice, there's a medium, two who can move objects with their minds, a fire starter, and two who change form. I gathered as much information as I could from them last night, about themselves, their families, and their abilities. The report is in my belongings. I was going to send it to you, but I can transfer the information to the Ministry files myself when we get…back to Lichfield." I'd been about to say 'home', but I couldn't allow myself to feel that way about the house yet. Not until I knew what my future held. "That's if we're going there."
"We are. You never have to leave again."
A weight I didn't know had been there, lifted from my shoulders.Home.I was going home, forever if I wished. Or until he changed his mind again. "Nevertheless, I won't allow my hopes to rise this time," I muttered.
He went very still. Only his fingers moved, curling into the fur of the muff. "I won't send you away again, Charlie. You have my word."
I spluttered a harsh laugh as my temper rose. It hadn't been far from the surface since he'd walked back into my life and I could no longer contain it. "Your word! And what is that worth? You promised that I would have a home at Lichfield, yet you sent me away. You promised to marry me, and yet you ended the engagement. Your word holds no weight with me."
I turned my shoulder to him and stared out the window. Hot tears burned my eyes but didn't shed. Part of me wished I was back at the school, getting to know my new friends further. It wasn't lost on me that one of the reasons he'd given for sending me there had been so I could have a normal life and make friends, and I had done exactly that, in a way.
Our compartment door opened and I turned just in time to see him walk out. He shut the door. Despite wanting to go after him, I remained seated. What I wanted and what I should do were two very different things. From this moment on, I would listen to my head more than my heart. Listening to my heart led to it breaking.
It was easier to concentrate on my book without him there and I almost finished it by the time we reached London. Lincoln didn't rejoin me until the train slowed as it chugged into the station. He did not meet my gaze.
He took down my luggage and indicated that I should go ahead of him. The platform was crowded and he remained close, his alert gaze darting around, looking for signs of danger. I would have to remain aware too now that I was back in London. I would also have to remain at Lichfield until the murderer was caught. One prison had been swapped for another, but at least Lichfield housed the people I loved. And there were no deportment lessons.
The road outside King's Cross Station was just as busy as the platforms and concourse inside, despite the horrid weather. London had turned on sleeting rain for my arrival. It pelted from the sky and soaked through my clothing in the seconds it took to race from the station exit to the nearest waiting hack.
