Page 26 of Stirring Up Trouble
Leslie didn't show up. Ms. Connie informed us that she was out chasing down women for the night, which she had told her when she stopped by for a snack. Blaze shook his head, though he didn't comment on his best friend.
When dinner was over, I decided to give up the restraint I had. I needed to know if Blaze wanted to match with me, or if there was something I could do to get in his good graces. I didn't like thinking that he was angry with me for any reason. Really, it came down to me wanting some kind of answer for why I felt the way I did.
I waited in the hall and when Blaze came out, I stopped him. "Hey!"
He froze, then turned to look my way. "Yes?"
"Can we talk for a minute? Somewhere private?” I added, knowing that the others in the kitchen could probably hear us with how things echoed in the house. It was old and not all that well insulated.
When he motioned to his office, I followed. It was only a few steps, but in that time, my heart beat erratically and my palms started to sweat.
We stepped inside, and he closed the door behind us. He crossed his arms, then leaned back on his desk as I shuffled behind the empty chair. "What did you want to talk about?"
I pulled out my phone and opened the app. I had to dig around for a minute but when I found his profile, I turned it towards him. “I want to talk about this. I don't know if you’ve seen mine yet, but is this why you were upset with me? Are you angry or something?”
His eyes went wide as he stepped forward into my space. “You picked my profile,” he said.
I nodded and showed him where it was selected green. He pushed the phone away, then moved until his body was pressed against mine.
"You want a Daddy?"
I swallowed thickly and bit my lip. I shrugged my shoulder and then said, "I don't know. I just I found the app, and I was curious, and the guys at the ranch are Daddies and boys and Littles and it’s?—”
His finger pressed against my mouth. "You're unsure?"
I nodded again, this time enjoying the rough finger against my lips.
“Then you need to think long and hard about what it is you want, Robin, because if you become my boy that's it. There's no letting go.”
At the picture it painted in my head, I let out a deep sigh. This grumbling, avoidant man wanted me.
Ten
Blaze
Six daysafter sending Robin away from my office, I was ready to beat my own ass for the foolish decision.
He had been in front of me, wanting and willing, and I had sent him away.
I could say that it was me being noble. That I recognized in him a hesitancy I also felt. Hell, I could play it up any number of ways.
The truth was that Robin made me nervous. He made me crave so deeply, I couldn't see up from down. I wanted to do exactly as Leslie had said and throw up my middle finger to everyone while we ran off into the sunset.
But that wasn't an option for me.
There was too much on the line. So that meant holding back. It meant creating boundaries where I didn't want to just to keep my head on straight.
I laughed to myself.Nothing about the situation was straight.
I was all tangled up wanting him, missing him.
I would still show up wherever he was around the arena, except now it wasn't on accident. Searching him out became a habit. One I indulged in often.
In the evenings, I would watch him at the dinner table. He'd been more reserved, as if taking in everything around him. I felt like it was my fault. That I had somehow dimmed who he was.
At the same time, I knew I wasn't acting on my own. Because had he truly wanted more, he would have pushed to stay. He would have told me he was ready right then and there.
He hadn't though.
