Page 45 of Prince Charmless
I shouldn’t be opening suspicious packages, but I reach for the box, anyway.
“I wouldn’t do that,” Alex warns. “There could be, like, terrorism and stuff.”
“I don’t remember Ted Kaczynski wrapping up his boxes in neat little bows,” I say, pulling the string.
When I open the lid, I’m presented with a small handwritten note.
I thought I’d wear something to bring me luck for my date that night. I must not be very lucky, or the maggot really missed out. Maybe you could find a use for it. -Melina
I run my thumb over the red lipstick print in the bottom corner.
Alex steps towards my desk. “What is it?”
After a few moments, he asks, “Hello?”
“It’s nothing. Did you see anyone go in here today?”
“No. Are you being blackmailed again?” he whispers. “You can tell me if you are.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Christ, Alex. No. It’s, uh, an inside joke. Could you go please?”
“Okaaay,” he draws out.
My explanation probably made him more confused. Who at the palace would I be having camaraderie with?
“You have a meeting with Anya Yadav in five minutes,” he reminds me before leaving.
I read the note again. And then again. And then one more time for good measure. This package is impossible. This package shouldn’t exist. How did she get this in here? Did she hire someone to do this? No, she doesn’t have the money for that kind of bribery.Think rationally, Taylor.
I would guess this was Tom’s doing, but he’s gone. He told me to watch Vinnie yesterday.
I lift off the note to find a jumbled mess of black lace. As soon as I realize the box’s contents, I immediately put the lid back on and shove it in my desk drawer.
I call Melina.
No answer.
Me:pick up your phone
Me:you couldn’t have gone into my office. I could have you arrested
Melina:how could I have gone into your office? I don’t have the keys
So she can text, but not answer her phone. She must recognize her weakness and assume it’s easier to lie this way. I stop myself from laughing at her message. This isn’t a laughing matter, rather my punishment for being dickish the other night. What she doesn’t know, and will never know, is that I had to rush her out of my house before my sex-crazed monkey brain asked her something extremely stupid.
Melina:sorry, I remember how much those handcuffs excited you
They didn’t. I was more interested in the fact that she had them in the first place. Melina doesn’t seem like that kind of woman. And I’m not that kind of man. When I fuck someone, I’d like their hands to be on me, please. Melina handcuffingme,on the other hand, well, I’d have to think about that later. I have to say I didn’t think she had it in her to do something this deranged. I can’t tell if I’m creeped out or impressed.
Me:I’m going to throw your keys into the ocean
Me:what are you doing?
Me:how the fuck did you leave a package on my desk?
Me:answer me
I flinch when Alex knocks on my door frame. He’s with the Minister of Education. I’m giving her money for something. Education. Yes.
