Page 26 of Prince Charmless
“Listen, I understand you want me to learn some Sesame-Street life lesson, but now is not the time.”
“I think it’s the perfect time. If you can’t solve this problem, how am I supposed to trust you with things that are more important.” He gestures above him, meaningif you can’t handle this, how do you think you’re going to handle being the sovereign?The leather of his chair groans as he sits back down. “Tom likes you most days. I don’t think convincing him should be that difficult.”
Great. More convincing I need to do. As I’ve learned from Melina, it’s not my forte.
“Well, if this blows up in our faces, it’ll be your fault.” I stand up and point at him. “Yours.”
I leave, but not before stealing the cigarettes from his desk. He doesn’t protest, probably because he has another pack stashed in a drawer.
Dad’s staff waits just outside the door. I hold up the contraband to their faces. “Which one of you is getting him these?”
Radio silence.
“Next time he asks for them, tell me. In the meantime, could you at least try to grow a backbone?” The older staff is all about protocol, but seriously, how can they bow to me when they’re active participants in the killing of my father?
They stare at me with faces that remind me of Vinnie’s, vacant and wrinkled.
“Our apologies, sir,” one of them pipes up. “But his word outranks yours.”
Meaning my father is going to die over bureaucracy invented by people who believed in bloodletting and a flat earth.
“Fucking robots,” I mumble while walking away.
9
Melina
Taylor’s coming at six. I told him to let himself in because he still has my spare keys, and I’m not sure if I am going to be back from Rachel’s studio in time. I have to say, working all day knowing a beautiful man is going to make me dinner at the end of it is a delightful feeling.
Overall, I’m confused by his strategy. He’s just trying to show me he can be a nice person, but you have to want to be a nice person. Unlike the rest of us, Prince Taylor has the privilege of being a dick without consequence. Why would he change? So maybe I can get some free meals out of this.
I walk into my apartment to the sound of Taylor chopping vegetables. He’s speaking French to the phone between his shoulder and his ear. In another context, this could be seen as sexy, but St. Claire French is known for being the ugliest and least sexy variety of the romance language. It’s really nasally and almost incomprehensible to other speakers and myself. This is one of those moments where I wish I paid more attention in French class, but I was too busy doodling in my notebook.
Angst, however, is an emotion one can detect through all languages, and Taylor is definitely angsty. I can pick out some words I remember learning.“L’accord.”Agreement.“L’argent.”Money.“On ne va pas tolérer l’incompétence.”We’re not going to tolerate incompetence.
Taylor seems more focused on the phone call than the shallot he’s dicing. He stops chopping to shuffle the phone to his other ear and begins again. As I set my car keys down, he sucks in air through his teeth and drops the knife onto the counter. He holdsup his hand. A small drop of blood oozes down his thumb. I race to the washroom and hunt through my drawers for a band-aid. When I come back, he’s running water over his thumb and using his other hand to talk on the phone. Just when he’s about to put it against his shoulder again to take the band-aid, I grab his thumb and take off the wrapper myself. The cut isn’t that deep, but it’ll be annoying for the next couple of days. As I finish wrapping the bandage around his finger and ignoring how big his hands are, he hangs up his call.
I gaze up at him. “You’re being more of a grumpy goose than usual.”
He looks at his thumb, and I realize my hands are still on his.
I quickly take them off. “Uh, bad day?”
“Not anymore.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
He goes back to chopping. Who am I to care about his feelings?
I take my jacket off and set my purse on the counter. Of course, the stupid thing tips over. Amongst some loose change, a tampon, and a tube of strawberry shortcake lip balm lies an item I have no idea how I’m going to explain. They’re fake, but look very realistic, especially on camera.
The handcuffs,yes, the handcuffs, have been lying on the counter for more than a couple of seconds. I’m going to have to make eye contact with him, eventually. Slowly, I look up to reveal Taylor’s quirky smile. I try to grab them, but he’s too fast and swipes them off the counter.
“Ooh, Melina, what are these?” He dangles the metal off his index finger. Yeah, he seems to be in a better mood now.
“Those aren’t for me.”
