Page 112 of Prince Charmless
“How come I never get compliments like that from you, Melina?” Sonia asks. They playfully bicker as I tackle the fish. Hopefully, no one will notice my slow and painful death as I answer her increasingly personal questions.
“Do people have to bow to you?”
“No.”
“Did you always know you were going to be king?”
“Yes.”
“Is your brother still dating Seoyeon from LadyBee?”
“I have no idea who that is.”
For some hellish reason, water makes it worse, so I stick to small sips of wine in hopes that I’m not completely plastered by the end of this. Thankfully, the rice and other vegetable-based dishes are wonderful. I spend a lot of my time with those.
“You’re sweating.”
I turn to Melina, squinting at me.
“No, I’m not,” I lie.
I only have a few bites left. It can’t end like this when I’m so close to winning.
I repel from her hand when she tries to swipe it against my forehead.
“You totally are swea—” Her eyes go big. She quickly fists a fork and tries to stab some of the tainted flesh.
“What are you doing?” I ask as I nudge the plate from her. “You haven’t finished yours.”
Except she’s too fast and takes a bite anyway. Instantly, she spits it out and looks to her mom.
“Mateo!” they both shout.
He flinches at the insults being hurled by both mother and sister. The Spanish races out of their mouths so fast there’s no chance for me to keep up.
“I should’ve eaten you in the womb!” Melina yells in English.
Sonia points Mateo out of the dining area.
“Sorry,” I mouth to him. Truly, I didn’t want to rat him out. I could’ve finished, but my plate has already been taken away. This is much more disappointing.
“An idiot, that boy,” Sonia tells me.
As Mateo leaves, he says something in Spanish to Melina, which makes her laugh in that way where she knows she shouldn’t.
“What did he say?” I ask.
“He said I deserve someone who’ll eat fire for me.”
Mateo shouts from somewhere, “And with the table manners of a prince!”
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Melina’s old bedroom has a twin bed, a closet, and a colorful lamp that reminds me of an octopus. The space has a couple of shelves filled with books, tchotchkes, homemade crafts i.e., more stuff I can look through.
“I should thank you by the way,” I say as I open a small plastic box with Pokémon cards inside. “The monarchy’s approval rating has gone up half a percent. I’m chalking it up to you and Tom’s sleuthing.”
We kept the necklace’s rediscovery quiet until we could no longer. Although there have been some international articles, toour surprise, they have brought only gentle ribbing from Twitter and late-night talk show hosts. Our statement to the press was brief; we said that the necklace wasmisplaced by archivists. I don’t think anyone believes us, but it sounds better than anything mentioning interfamilial thievery.
