Page 108 of Prince Charmless
“Hi, Thomas,” I say.
“Melina Ramirez.” He draws out my name like he hasn’t seen me in a decade. “You look absolutely radiant tonight,” he says in Spanish.
I look down at my outfit consisting of a jean jacket, gray tank top, and pants. “Uh, thanks.”
“What’s going on, Tom?” Taylor asks while scanning the boxes in the living room.
He hurries down the stairs. “The appraisers came by today, and besides the furniture, they said most of the stuff that’s worth anything is either in the wine cellar or her wardrobe upstairs. I don’t think any of Mom’s stuff is still here, but if we want to keep anything, now’s the time to take it.”
“I don’t want anything,” Taylor says. “Maybe the wine,” he realizes.
“Not even anything from her creepy porcelain doll collection?”
“No, those should be buried.” Taylor turns to me. “She was a bit unorthodox. Believed in crystals or whatever.”
“Bit of a klepto, too,” Tom adds. “The woman stole my sapphire cufflinks once. Who steals cufflinks?”
So everyone has a kooky family member, even royals.
After rummaging around in a cramped, cobwebbed cellar with our phone flashlights, the boys deemed a dusty bottle of ‘49 Bordeaux the only thing worth taking. Tom’s the one who came across it and shouted, ‘Finders keepers’. As any good brother should, Taylor respected the decree. The wardrobe in the master bedroom sounds more interesting to me since I know nothing about wine. And I think I saw a mouse down there.
“This isn’t a wardrobe,” I say when we enter the walk-in closet the size of a small bedroom. Its dark mahogany shelves are filled with boxes as well. In the center, there’s an island for jewelry and accessories. There’s even a vanity with a mirror in the back. I’d sell my left foot for this closet and my soul for the whole house.There’s been lots of quirks and character I’ve been noticing as we walk through the place. It has pocket doors, little flower moldings on the fireplaces, and a beautiful stained-glass window in the dining room. It’s the stuff you see on Pinterest and save into your ‘dream home’ folder.
Halfway through my scan of the place, I spot a red Kelly bag lying on the ground. “Woah, grandma had connects,” I say, picking up the leather from the floor. “They don’t just let you walk in and buy one of these.”
“What is it?” Taylor asks.
“It’s Hermès.They’re like the most expensive bags in the world. Grace Kelly used it to hide her baby bump when she was...”
“Princess of Monaco.”
“Uh, yeah. That.” Spontaneous Melina doesn’t think about the P word.
He takes the bag from me. “This thing? It’s kind of boring-looking.”
“That’s the point. It’s classic. You can wear it with anything. Though I guess it’s kind of silly. The only reason this bag is worth something is because someone said so a really long time ago.”
“Boring and antiquated,” Taylor mumbles.
I notice him having an existential crisis. “And practical,” I add cheerily. “Sturdy, every woman’s dream.”
“You can have it if you want.”
“No, that’s not what I was—” I stop my laughing. “Taylor, this bag costs thousands, and it’s probably vintage. It’s too much.”
He shrugs. “You seem to know a lot about it. It’s going to be sold anyway.”
“You don’t want the money?”
I hear a “Ha!” from Tom in the bedroom. Stupid question, I guess.
“Fine,” Taylor says. “If you won’t take it, I will. I can use it to keep snacks.” He opens the bag haphazardly. “Or my weed.”
“Okay, I’ll take it!” I steal it back from him. The thought of him defiling this genuine leather beauty with pot and munchies is horrifying. I clutch it to my chest.Don’t listen to him. He’s a big meanie. I’ll take care of you.
Tom bursts into the closet holding what looks like a jewelry box. Like most things in this house, it’s very expensive-looking. The rosewood panels on the sides are adorned with painted gold leaf designs. The box is quite large for jewelry, but I can’t think of anything else it’d be for.
Tom shakes it against my ear. The box rattles. “Doesn’t it sound like there’s something big in there?” he asks.
