Page 61 of Prince Charmless
“Yes, and then played the worst match of football I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Still a good run. It made Foust’s career.”
“So what! All people care about nowadays is individual players. You can’t have a team with just one good forward. Back when I was in the Navy—”
“All right, Dad,” I finally interrupt. “I think everyone here is sick of your stories about the Navy.”
The crowd laughs, but it’s true.
“He’s just jealous he doesn’t have any,” he tells them.
Though I should’ve cut myself off a while ago, I take a long drink to occupy my mouth before I say something I’ll regret.
“I always tell him he could’ve been great,” Dad says as a waiter takes my empty glass.
Though the laughter is polite, in my mind, Dad’s groupies sound like a bunch of hyenas. I’ll use this as an opportunity to leave before we end up debating the subject like we always do. I don’t care if I’m seen as rude. He acts like my lack of military service isn’t a huge point of contention in the never-ending soapopera that is our family. The way he feigns lightheartedness for everyone makes me sick. He’s only punishing me by bringing it up for the rest of my life.
I stagger off towards the entrance of the greenhouse. I don’t have an aim for where I’m going, but I push past the first set of doors to the lobby, anyway. I can’t take any more cacti or ficuses.Fici?
My decision to leave the function is soon regretted when I spot Jamie alone with no husband around to keep up appearances. His instant grin makes me want to slap it right off his face. On paper, Jamie is a nice-looking man, swoopy black hair, a jawline that could cut steel, eyelashes that remind me of a woman’s. If only he weren’t a demon of chaos. I would back out, but we’ve already made eye contact.
“This is a bit awkward, right?” He gestures to the air.
“If by awkward you mean having my blackmailer show up to my party uninvited, then yeah, I’d say it’s pretty awkward.”
He looks around before stepping closer. “You should move on, Taylor. I have. I don’t have any hard feelings toward you anymore. Can’t we just put my stupid actions behind us?”
He goes to grab my hand. I instantly pull back.
“Jesus Christ, you’re married. Fucking snake.”
Jamie rolls his eyes. “Married schmarried. Gaël and I are kind of in an open relationship. And I miss your colorful language. I know you miss my accent.”
I don’t. He’s ruined it for me. And I’m pretty sure his Queen’s English is fake. He’s from Birmingham. I always used to hear him slip more townie when drunk.
“I’m not sure which hole you came out of to end up in my life again, but if you could kindly crawl back into it, I would appreciate that.”
“You don’t want to do any catching up? I haven’t seen you in forever. Looks like you’ve turned to the dark side in themeantime. What does she have that I don’t, huh? Besides the tits or whatever.”
“A soul.”
He shrugs as if those are overrated. “I’ve always thought bisexual was just the posh word for desperate.”
“No, Jamie, it means having sex with menandwomen, desperate would mean having sex with you.”Yeah, Taylor, that was good.“Don’t you have beans to go put on toast or something? Construct whatever it is you and your people deem as edible?” I wish I were soberer so I could twist my knife in a way that’s more creative than mocking cultural cuisine.
He finally drops the smirk. “Whatever, if fucking a prince just ended up being something I can cross off my bucket list then so be it.”
“I really don’t have time for this, Jamie. Can’t you be a washed-up actor somewhere else? How about a shrink’s office somewhere in Antarctica?”
“I actually have been going to a therapist. How did you know? Nora says that my erratic attention-seeking behavior stems from my over-controlling parents, who forced me to grow up at an early age. Isn’t that fun?”
“I could’ve told you that.” In fact, I think I have.
Jamie was a child star. ‘Aren’t you glad I didn’t turn out completely insane?’ he used to say to me. Yeah, sure. It’s bizarre to me that my parents did everything to keep my brother and me out of the public eye when we were kids, whereas his parents did the opposite. His big break came from this teen werewolf drama calledMoonlight. (Yeah, I watched it. I was a moody fourteen-year-old.) I remember thinking the main girl was hot, but after getting more invested, I realized her love interest was pretty nice too. The bizarre thing about being famous is that one day you might be fuckbuddies with the catalyst of your sexual awakening.
“The washed-up part is a fair point.” He holds up his hand to display the gold band on his finger. “No need to work when a billionaire gives you one of these. You never told me how easy it is to hoard wealth.”
“Oh no, James. Did you quit?” I ask unenthusiastically. “What will society ever do without you and your—” I close my eyes and put a hand on my heart. “Emoting.”
