Page 66 of The Night Shift
He gave her knee a little squeeze and then stood. ‘Anyway,’ he said. ‘From what I saw in the office the other night, it was just a bit of a hospital fumble, wasn’t it? Just a snog. It’s not like you slept with him or…’ He trailed off as Violet’s face went crimson. ‘Oh, dear. Okay– you did sleep with him. Alright.’ He sat back down with the air of a weary counsellor, slightly closer than before, and brushed her cheek with his hand. ‘Well,’ he said. ‘Gus always did have a thing for the prettiest girls– if that’s any consolation.’
Violet didn’t know what to do with herself. She suddenly wanted to be very far away from here. Barney with his doubtless genuine concern was starting to grate on her nerves and when Gus arrived in the coffee room a few moments later she was torn between relief, embarrassment and righteous anger.
Barney turned towards the door. He looked pleased with himself as he greeted Gus. ‘Alright, mate,’ he said.
‘Alright, Barney.’ Gus turned to look at Violet, his eyes searching hers. She could see the confusion on his face and felt a stab of satisfaction herself.Hewas confused? Good. About bloody time.
Gus
When Gus called Violet he was surprised to hear that she was in the surgeons’ coffee room but not as surprised as he was to find her with Barney Snell. The sight of the two of them together, close enough to exchange quiet confidences if not body fluids, was unnerving and his brain scrambled for logical reasons to explain this particular turn of events. It was clear from Violet’s face that she knew something was up but she wasn’t necessarily going to reveal exactly what she knew. This was an additional element to the odd state of affairs, usually Violet’s internal monologue would be out of her mouth within minutes, not hidden behind a wall of self-preservation. He suddenly felt exhausted by the need to read between the lines of someone else’s emotional narrative. He’d been doing it for the past hour back at the flat.
‘I need to speak to you,’ he said.
Barney got to his feet. ‘I’ll leave you both to it.’ He gave Gus a smug self-satisfied look as he left the room, calling out behind him, ‘Keep the jumper as long as you need, Violet. Look forward to seeing you later.’
Gus went to go and sit next to Violet and was disconcerted to find the chair still warm from Barney’s body heat, the space between them reeking of Barney’s aftershave. He wrinkled his nose. ‘Why are you wearing his jumper?’ he said.
‘I was soaked through,’ she said. ‘I got caught in the hailstorm earlier.’ Her expression was guarded. ‘What’s going on, Gus?’
He knew that now was the time to be honest, completely candid. And yet he felt brutal as he delivered his news. ‘When I got home today– it was completely unexpected– I had no idea she was planning…’
‘What’s happened?’ Violet’s voice was firm.
‘Amelia’s come back,’ he said in a rush. ‘She wants to give it another go. Our relationship.’
Violet swallowed a couple of times. It was like something was stuck in her throat and he wanted suddenly to kiss her neck, soothe it all away.
‘Okay,’ she said, her gaze strong, eyes locked with his, her own brand of truth serum. ‘And what doyouwant?’
‘I– well I…’ She had a point. Whatdidhe want? Amelia hadn’t even thought to ask. ‘I’m not sure, to be honest,’ he said. ‘She’s caught me a little off guard– but I think it’s best if we at least talk things through.’
‘You and Amelia?’ she said, for clarity.
He nodded, gulping a little himself. ‘It’s just that– she’s in such a mess at the moment. She said she’d made a mistake and she was so frightened that I’d kick her out, refuse to listen. She was crying…’ He trailed off. This sounded lame even to his ears. ‘There’s too much history there to just discard it,’ he said finally. ‘Everyone deserves a chance to have their say. People make mistakes and sometimes you’ve got to just put your own hurt to one side, see the bigger picture.’
‘Are you talking about your hurt or my hurt?’ she said.
‘Mine– But…’ He faltered. ‘But– I– I’m not trying to diminish your feelings…’
She waved this away. ‘I just wanted to make sure I understood what you were saying, that’s all. Carry on.’
‘Uhm. Well, I guess…’ He’d lost his train of thought. ‘Yeah, so she’s said sorry and she wants to get back together. And…’
‘And that’s good enough for you?’ She seemed genuinely curious that this would be the case.
‘Well, it’s not perfect,’ he said. ‘But like I say, people make mistakes and I just feel she deserves?—’
‘It seems a bit lazy though,’ she said, interrupting him in that inimitable way she had. ‘Or, like, a bitcowardly. You’re acting as if you don’t have any agency in this decision. It’s all about Amelia– what she wants, what she deserves.’
‘Not entirely,’ he said, shocked by her bluntness, despite having expected it. ‘I want to give her a chance to explain.’
‘You want to give her a chance to tell you exactly why she wants you back.’ Violet spoke slowly, her eyebrows knitted together as she broke down the component parts of what he’d said. ‘And is that just because you like hearing nice things about yourself, or because you want to feel vindicated, or because you’re hoping to get back together with her? Because it sounds like that’s where this is going.’
He felt her questions like body punches despite them being delivered in Violet’s characteristic factual tone. She wasn’t shouting, hadn’t even raised her voice– but there was a quiet anger in what she said. And perhaps more than a grain of truth.
‘No– I– it’s not like that. I just need to be certain.’
‘But I thought youwerecertain– when we talked the other night. Are you just less certain now because she’s come back or…?’
