Page 56 of The Night Shift
‘I don’t think it was just one,’ she said seriously. ‘I have no idea when one ended and the other began but surely they don’t usually last that long?’ She could see he was laughing at her and she poked him in the ribs. ‘No, but seriously, Gus, it was like, completely off the fucking scale,’ she said. ‘Like a totally different order of magnitude. How would you even measure it anyway? Serotonin levels? Serum endorphins?’
‘Hmmm,’ he said, playing along. ‘In terms of metrics, I’m not sure what a unit of orgasm would be called– a jolt?’
‘A clench perhaps?’
‘A squeal?’
‘Hey!’ She poked him again. ‘Is that a reference to me? Am I a squealer?’
He laughed again, shrugging. ‘There was definitely some squealing going on, amongst other noises.’ He loved that fact that she was so relaxed talking about sex. He knew a lot of girls who would be embarrassed by this conversation– not Violet.
‘Speak for yourself,’ she said. ‘Anyway, maybe it’s the same as they use for seismic events– certainly feels like it should be. Either way, I’ve just had like a mega, kilo, giga, off the Richter scale, whatever.’
‘That doesn’t have a very scientific ring to it though, Violet,’ he said as they stepped off the pavement. ‘And I know how exacting you are about appropriate terminology.’
‘No,’ she conceded. ‘But I’m not really firing on all cylinders at the moment. How on earth am I supposed to return to the mundanities of normal daily life after that? How do other people manage? Wait– is this happening to other women the whole time? No wonder everyone else is wandering around with such big smiles on their faces and I’m always so bloody miserable.’
‘I think your response was quite extreme,’ he laughed. ‘And your reaction is pleasingly and uniquely enthusiastic.’
‘Well, there’s something I’ve not been accused of before,’ she said as they entered the hospital.
They took the stairs to the second floor and paused just inside the double doors that lead to the main corridor.
‘I guess I’ll see you later,’ he said, pulling her into him.
‘I guess you will.’ She smiled and stood on tiptoes to kiss him on the mouth before she pushed open the door and walked out, swinging her bag behind her.
He knew she’d go and see Marvin straight after the handover meeting as she had the previous day and immediately started wondering how to engineer a scenario where he would bump into her again. Watching her walk down the corridor felt like a physical wrenching apart. They had only spent a few evenings together but those hours had been intense enough to feel like years of shared history and it seemed as though a little piece of him was leaving with her. Gus didn’t enjoy that feeling– it had far too many unpleasant connotations– his dad, his fiancée… He shook the sensation away like a dog after a dip in the river and instead focussed his attention on everything that had happened in the past two days– every single tiny detail. The thought of the most recent moments, those in the kitchen and on the sofa, gave him more than a degree of swagger as he recalled the look in Violet’s eyes when he kissed her, the expression on her face when he touched her. He couldn’t remember ever having felt so powerful or so responsible for someone else’s satisfaction and the thought both thrilled and terrified him.
Because he knew from experience how people operated. They started out perfectly happy with what he could offer but they usually wanted something more from him in the end. What if Violet was the same? What if he was unable to keep her satisfied? What if she tired of him as others had? Or, perhaps worse, what if sheonlywanted him for sex? Was being good in bed enough of a draw to keep her? It seemed crazy to even think it, given the rapid pace of this relationship, but he already knew he’d be devastated to lose her. She had been right when she unintentionally skewered him with her earlier comment– he did crave emotional security. And maybe itwasbecause of his parents. It would make sense. The fractured instability of his childhood had resulted in a need for absolute and long-lasting commitment, a slow and steady progression to a relationship built on rock-solid foundations. Of course, it was sod’s law that he’d fallen head over heels for an individual who didn’t need that– someone entirely at ease with their independence who would be just as happy alone as attached.
He made his way along the corridor in the opposite direction to the woman who had only moments ago made him feel like some sort of legendary love-god, and by the time he got to the HDU to meet Karen and the rest of the team he’d lost the swagger and reverted back to his default position of slightly worried scenario-builder instead.
Violet
Marvin was sat up in bed chewing on a Chomp bar from his selection box when Violet made it up to ward twenty. He grimaced as she stuck her head around his door.
‘This is my third of the day,’ he said guiltily.
‘Third chocolate bar or third selection box?’ she said, perching on the end of his bed.
‘Third bar.’ He nodded agreeably. ‘That’s made it sound positively frugal. Please thank your lovely parents for all of this.’ He gestured to the stack of confectionery piled around him. ‘Although I do wonder whether my getting diabetes is going to aid my recovery.’
‘I think the idea was that you shared them out with the ward staff,’ said Violet, laughing.
‘We have! This is what’s left over.’ He passed her a handful of Curly Wurlys and Freddos. ‘Why don’t you take these? Share them with lover boy.’
She beamed as she pocketed the chocolate. ‘Maybe I will. Anyway, you should probably be trying to get some sleep. It’s ten o’clock and I’m only here for a super-quick hello. I’ve got to go and see my real patients in a minute, but I wanted to make sure you were still improving.’
‘The surgeons tell me I’m doing wonderfully,’ he said proudly. ‘A Christmas miracle, they said.’
‘Did they now?’
‘Yup! Drain’s out. Christ, that stings a bit, doesn’t it? Pulling a plastic tube out of your newly healing insides.’
‘Yeah, I can’t really comment,’ said Violet. ‘Never had one myself and I haven’t even done my surgical attachment yet so haven’t had to remove one from anyone else either.’
‘Well, when you do, you make sure you’re nice to those patients,’ he said. ‘And by nice, I mean offer them some decent pain relief, like a kilo of heroin. Or a blow to the head. Although, to be fair, I’ve already had one of those.’ He smiled ruefully.
