Page 51 of The Night Shift
‘I would understand,’ she said carefully. ‘I might not like it, but I’d like it a lot less if I thought you’d lied. You were together for a long time. I get it if, you know, it’s hard to let go.’
He nodded and thought for a moment. The last thing he wanted to do was mislead Violet, especially when she’d been so candid with him. But he still wasn’t entirely sure how he felt. He didn’t know for certain that he was over Amelia. After all, she had made the decision to leave him, and months later he was still playing catch up, just about coming to terms with the fact that the relationship was finished. But if he told Violet that– if he admitted his doubts– then surely she’d run a mile, regardless of what she said now. And he’d have blown his chance.
‘I have let go,’ he said, his voice more definite than he felt. ‘I can see now that there were major flaws in our relationship. And maybe we weren’t good for each other, not as good as we’d initially thought anyway.’ (This at least was true.) ‘Amelia realised it first, but it was the right decision, to split up. I’m fine with it.’ He nodded, as much to convince himself as anyone else. ‘I’m over it,’ he said. ‘I’m ready to move on.’
She raised her eyebrows and he felt a clanging anxiety in his chest. Had that been enough? Was ittoo muchin fact? Would she now feel pressurised? Had he implied that he wanted to move onwith her?
‘Not that I mean anything heavy,’ he said in a rush. ‘I’m not necessarily hunting around for my next fiancée.’ He groaned, realising that he was in danger of ballsing this up completely, but then he noticed her smile and felt a rush of relief wash over him. ‘Look, Violet,’ he said, cupping her cheek. ‘I’m not saying that I’m entirely without baggage. Who is? But my feelings for Amelia have changed, completely. Disappeared in a puff of smoke–pffft.’ He mimed the end of a magic trick and she laughed. That was when he knew he’d won her over. ‘I really enjoy being with you,’ he said, feeling he was definitely on more solid ground now, the statement factually correct.Evidence-based, Violet would have said. The thought made him smile and he couldn’t help but up the ante. ‘Ilovebeing with you.’
Her eyebrows lifted at the use of the L word (perhaps that had been unnecessary) but she nodded, her expression decisive. ‘Well, that’s good enough for me,’ she said. ‘I’ll reassure Marv that you’re not some chancer intent on toying with my emotions– although he’d probably argue that I didn’t have any to toy with.’ She looked shy. ‘Thanks for being honest.’
Instantly he felt guilty. He hadn’t beencompletelyhonest. But if he had been, surely, he’d have lost her. There were times when it was acceptable to fudge the truth, he told himself, and this was one of them. After all, no harm would come of it and maybe, after a longer period of time and adjustment, it really would be the case– he’d be over the break-up and have completely forgotten Amelia. He wasn’t lying to Violet. In effect he was just making a down-payment on the full truth of the situation. That made him feel better. Perhaps he should do something tangible, demonstrate just how ‘over it’ he was. ‘Would it help if I started telling everyone?’ he said.
‘What? About the fact that we’ve slept together?’
He laughed. ‘No, about the fact that Amelia and I have split up,’ he said. ‘But I can tell all of our colleagues that we’re having sex if you like? Absolute candour. Should I put a notice up in the mess?’ He paused, seeing her expression, ‘I’m only teasing, Violet, don’t look so horrified.’
‘You’d better be,’ she said. ‘Honesty is one thing, oversharing entirely another. Besides,’ she gave him an arch look, ‘I’ll have to beat half the female hospital staff off with a stick if they find out. I imagine most of them know how amazing you are in bed from personal experience?’
‘I was never quite the lothario you’re imagining,’ he said, not sure whether he should feel a little hurt by the accusation. ‘Not even as a student. I mean, I went out with a few girls but no more than most.’
‘It’s just that Anjali said everyone was in love with you at medical school. She said you broke about a billion hearts when you announced you were engaged.’ Her voice was light and he sensed that now he was being teased.
‘Are you jealous, Dr Winters?’ he said slowly, leaning in to kiss her neck and making her laugh as his breath tickled her ear. ‘Because you sound a tiny bit jealous. And what was it you said? About me being amazing in bed?’ He slid his hands down the sides of her body and felt her jolt beneath him as she took a sharp intake of breath. God, he loved having this effect on her– it certainly went some way to settling the niggle of guilt in his stomach.
‘Well,’ she said, her voice breathy and high, ‘you’re okay I suppose.’
He kissed her again, burrowing his mouth into the crook of her neck and then trailing smaller kisses up her throat until his lips smiled against hers. ‘Do you think I need to try a little bit harder?’ he murmured. ‘Improve my technique?’
‘Maybe.’ She curved her body against him. ‘You said it yourself with the cannulation the other day, there’s no skill involved, it’s just practice.’
He felt behind him until he reached the handle of the door to the office and they both fell into the darkened room, giggling as they kissed each other.
‘This is enormously unprofessional, Dr Jovic.’ Violet gasped as he slid his hand up her top. The floodlights of the ambulance bay filtered through the metal shutters on the window throwing stripes across her face and neck.
‘I know,’ he said. ‘I’ll be reporting us both to the hospital board as soon as we leave.’ He backed her up against the wall of the narrow room, one hand on her shoulder, the other still busy up her top.
‘Should we fill out an incident form?’ She brushed her hands teasingly against him through the fabric of his trousers.
‘Definitely.’ His voice was suddenly tight in his throat.
‘Major incident,’ she said, sliding her hands up. ‘Or minor incident?’ She slid her hands down.
‘Probably best to do both,’ he spluttered. ‘Just to be on the safe side.’ He rubbed his thumb over the lacy fabric of her bra. ‘Don’t suppose there’s any chance I could persuade you to take this off?’
‘No,’ she said, her breath catching as his fingers roamed under the wire of the cup. ‘We really can’t. We?—’
Just then the door burst open.
Violet cried out in surprise and Gus froze in position as a dark figure appeared framed in the doorway. Before he could register anything else the overhead light was on, illuminating everything in its stark glare: Violet’s flushed face, her parted lips, her dilated pupils, his hand still up her top, a fairly impressive erection tenting the front of his trousers, and the raised eyebrows of their unwelcome guest– Mr Barney Snell.
It was immediately clear to Gus that there was no way of bluffing his way out of this one. He removed his hand from Violet’s bra and stood in front of her, aware that he’d left it a little late in the day to protect her modesty but keen to maintain some semblance of chivalry.
She was the one to speak first, both men seemingly incapable of verbalising their thoughts.
‘Mr Snell,’ she said, coolly brushing down the front of her top as if she had no idea as to how it had come to be up around her armpits. ‘If you’re looking for Mr Adoji’s notes, I think they are up at the nurses’ station.’
Barney’s eyebrows were still halfway up his forehead. ‘Of course,’ he said, playing along. ‘Silly of me to think they might be in the office.’ He stood to one side to let Violet pass.
