Page 35 of The Night Shift
‘Most men areboringafter a week though, Dev,’ Violet said in a joke-whiney voice.
‘Ooof,’ said Marv, a hand to his chest. ‘She’s brutal.’
‘She’s not,’ said Dev, watching her closely. ‘She’s not as tough as she makes out, are you, little ice-queen? It’s not just that you get bored because they’re not as clever as you, it’s that you don’t want to get too close to anyone.’ He placed his palms down on the table conclusively. ‘I’m right, aren’t I?’
Violet pursed her lips in his general direction.
‘Aaaand,’ continued Dev, ‘I think the reason you’re not more excited about this broken engagement is that actually the news that this particular barrier has been removedterrifiesyou.’
She remained silent.
‘I think, maybe while this guy was safely engaged you could happily daydream about him, but now he’s single, and evidently just as capable of arsing up relationships as the rest of us, maybe you’re having to admit to yourself that you quite like him.’ Dev folded his arms triumphantly.
‘And he’s obviously interested in you’—Marv took up the baton—'becauseA– you’re gorgeous and funny and clever, andB– why else would someone go for a bollock-freezing open-water swim immediately after a night shift if they weren’t trying to get inside your deeply unflattering neoprene swim garments?’
‘Hey!’ Violet laughed. ‘There’s nothing wrong with my garments.’
‘Well, it’s of no consequence either way. The man is available. You like him. He almost certainly likes you, even if he is still in denial about the ex. See how things go. There’s no hurry.’
‘No, there isn’t, although by New Year we’ll have finished nights and I’ll likely not bump into him again,’ Violet said.
‘So thereisan element of jeopardy after all,’ said Dev, rubbing his hands together. ‘Not extreme jeopardy, but still, a time limit focuses the mind, does it not?And the heart.’ He gave Violet a meaningful look and she pretended to stick two fingers down her throat.
‘Oh, God, Dev! Don’t get all romantic heroine on me,’ she groaned. ‘It feels complicated enough without the power ballad lyrics.’
‘It’s not complicated at all,’ said Dev with a decisive clap. ‘You’ve just got to be brave, seize the day, become master of your own destiny. At least ask the poor boy out on a date that’s marginally more fun than a cold-water swim,’ he pleaded. ‘For me. For all that is good and holy in the world of romance…’
Violet sighed and pushed herself away from the table. ‘I’ve got to have a bath and get to bed,’ she said. ‘Much as I’d love to stay here and be emotionally blackmailed by the pair of you.’ She planted a kiss on both their heads as she stood and made her way to the door.
‘We just want you to be a happy little ice-queen,’ said Dev.
She turned and glared at him. ‘Stop it,’ she said.
‘You ask him out on a date or I’m going to come up with something even worse,’ he said, giving her a wicked grin.
* * *
Violet deliberated for longer than was customary on what to put into her text to Gus. Eventually she settled for a simple, ‘back home’ with a smiling face emoji. She had been about to add, ‘and heading to bed’ but that seemed unnecessary additional information so she deleted that line and left her phone charging in the hall. Suddenly bone-tired, she made her way to the upstairs bathroom and summoned all her energy to turn on the taps. As the steam rose in comforting billows she stepped into the water and felt the leaden weight in her limbs ease almost immediately. She briefly considered falling asleep right here in the bath but at the same moment heard Dev’s voice shouting up to her to be careful not to do exactly that–people could drown in just three inches of water, you know– and she smiled. He was such a mother hen– an evil mother hen, granted, but at least he cared. She was reminded of Gus’s comments in the café earlier, about being lucky to have someone waiting for her at home. Shewaslucky, she knew that.
Because Gus was alone, had been alone for months, not confiding in anyone, not seeking comfort from another soul. Actually, she didn’t know that for certain, he could have been seeking comfort in any number of warm, pliable female souls on a nightly basis for all she knew, but somehow, despite the fact that he had been living a plausible lie for the past three months, she felt that he was now telling the truth. He had struggled to articulate his sense of loss, and perhaps that was because he hadn’t truly acknowledged it, but a break-up that significant must have wormed its way in beneath the cheerful exterior. There had been a sadness in his eyes today that she hadn’t seen before, one that she probably wouldn’t normally pick up on, and this new vulnerability brought out the protective instincts she usually saved for those she kept closest, like Dev and her family.
Of course, if one looked at this from a scientific and objective point of view there were significant downsides to having these feelings– they inevitably left her more exposed, and Dev was right, she was more frightened by that than she cared to admit. Because as well as being attracted to Gus, shereallyliked him. He was good and kind and funny and charming, attributes she valued but also struggled to define or demonstrate in her own daily existence. Why on earth would someone like that, someone so proficient in the alchemy of social interaction, want to be with someone like her– unless it was purely for a bit of distraction from his own heartache?
Besides, he had inadvertently proved her theory to be true. By omitting the truth for months to everyone around him, and by doing it in such a plausible fashion, Gus had demonstrated that he was more than capable of duplicity. He was, by definition, a practised and experienced liar.
She was reminded of her idea for her own tattoo.
Never trust a charmer.
Violet
Thursday night
27th December
‘Don’t you be giving me a load of oldbzdury!’ Mr Zeller’s voice was audible halfway down the corridor of ward ten. ‘Where’s Dr Winters? She’ll tell me straight. Where is she? I’m not talking to anyone else.’
Violet arrived just in time to see a disgruntled doctor in a surgical cap emerge from behind the curtains shaking his head. ‘You’d better be Dr Winters,’ he said to Violet. ‘Otherwise, you’re not getting much out of this gentleman.’
