Page 37 of Cinnamon Cider Whiskey
“It will be.” He rubbed his thumb over her lip. “But we might have a problem.”
“What’s that?”
“Are you on birth control? We didn’t discuss that.”
Her eyes went wide. “I was, but I left all my pills back in Idaho Falls. I haven’t taken them since I arrived and I just didn’t think about it.”
“I should have been the one who did. Not you.” He brushed her hair back. “I’m sorry.” His eye twitched. “Would you ever want to have another child?”
“Wow. I don’t know. I mean, obviously not in my past situation, but I’d always thought it would be you and me having a family.” She dropped her head to his stomach. Her cheeks heated. “I used to fantasize about it late at night or when writing in my journal.”
“You wrote about that?” He lifted her chin. “And Pete read it? That couldn’t have gone over well.”
“Let’s not talk about him or what he did with that information.” A flash of one of the worst beatings, outside of the last one, she’d ever taken filled her mind.
“Fair enough.” Austin nodded.
“Do you want to have kids?”
“I never wanted to have them with anyone but you.”
“What about Charity? Did she want them?” Cinnamon asked.
“She did and we talked about it, but it wasn’t something that I was fully on board with. I used coming back to Whiskey Ranchas one of the conditions in having a family, which looking back was a mean thing to do.”
“You didn’t love her.”
“No, I didn’t.” He brushed his warm lips over hers in a tender kiss. “I’ve always loved you and if I’m being honest, while I don’t think this is the right time for us to be reckless about birth control, I want a future with you, including having a family.”
“There’s still so much that is hanging over my head.”
“I know. That’s why from now on, I’ll reach for a condom.”
“You have some?”
“I bought them the other day.” He laughed. “I like to be prepared. I’ve been hoping that someday soon you’d be ready to be open about everything that happened and we could move things along.”
“I’m a lucky girl to have such a sweet man in my life.”
“No, I’m the lucky one. Now let’s get some sleep.” He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes.
There were only three things that worried Cinnamon.
How long her divorce would take.
How long Pete would end up in prison for.
And what this FBI agent wanted to discuss with Austin.
She sucked in a long shallow breath, letting it out slowly. As if all those worries weren’t enough.
9
Austin leaned against the railing, sipping his coffee and watching the sunrise. He hadn’t slept well, which bothered him because he should have, considering how the evening ended. Being with Cinnamon again had been beyond his wildest dreams. It was as if they’d picked up where they left off. They’d been so young. He had been only twenty-one and she nineteen. They’d both suffered great tragedy in their lives. She handled hers well, but Austin had gone to a dark place and he’d lost the woman he loved.
He had only himself to blame for the last fifteen years.
Well, and Pete.
