Page 31 of Cinnamon Cider Whiskey
“I’ll see you tonight.” Austin leaned in and kissed her a little too hard on the lips in front of her cousin and Luke. “Have a great day with the babies.” He followed Luke out the door with a spring in his step.
“He’s happy this morning.” Georgia Moon pulled down a mug and poured some coffee before sitting on a stool. “Something you want to share?”
“Nothing’s happened.” Cinnamon was close to all her cousins, but she and Georgia Moon had a unique friendship. It had been strained because of Pete, and they hadn’t talked for many years. But as kids, they were close and Cinnamon was glad to have that friendship back. “I’m not ready yet.”
“Why not? It’s obvious to everyone how much the two of you still love each other.”
“That’s not the problem.” Cinnamon groaned, dropping her head to the counter. “There’s one thing I haven’t told him yet and I don’t know how he’s going to take it. Not to mention, I don’t know how I’ll react to a sexual encounter.”
Georgia Moon ran her hand up and down Cinnamon’s back. “I’m sure Austin’s brain has already gone there, because the rest of us have already thought it or talked about it.”
Cinnamon jerked upright. “What the hell?”
“Come on. You still have bruises on your face. Pete abused you. It goes without saying he most likely raped you too.”
“How can you say that so flippantly?”
“I’m not.” Georgia Moon held her gaze with a softness emanating from her tender eyes. “Are you going to tell me it didn’t happen?”
“No.” Cinnamon sighed. Her first thought had been to explain it away like she’d always done. She could come up with a million reasons why Pete had done the things he had, but she was done making excuses for that asshole. What happened was wrong. Criminal even. And if she were smart, she’d add it to the list of things she needed to testify against him for. “I feel such shame over what happened and every time I think I’m ready, I tense over the idea. I worry that I’ll freak out. Or do what I did with Pete and leave my body and lie there like I’m dead.”
“I’m not a psychiatrist, so I could be speaking out of my ass, but you’ve loved Austin since you were a kid. He’s not Pete. He’s a kind, sweet, gentle man who would walk on water for you. I’m sure things with him would be so different, especially if he knew your fears.”
“You don’t know him the way I do.” Cinnamon shifted, straddling the stool. “He has a wicked jealous streak when it comes to me. He despises Pete more than ever for what he’s done. I know it took a great deal of restraint on his part that night at Boone’s place not to haul off and put a fist through Pete’s nose.”
“But he didn’t because Austin has learned over the years that punching someone doesn’t correct the wrong. It doesn’t even make him feel all that better.”
“And you know this how? He left Whiskey Ranch and had no contact with any of you for over a decade.”
“Because I’ve seen it in action,” Georgia Moon said. “A few months ago, we had an employee whose husband abused her and Austin tossed his ass off this ranch, but he didn’t hit him. Just literally lifted him over his shoulder, tossed him in his truck, and drove him to the bus station where he handed him a ticket and warned him that if he ever saw him near Tamara or this ranch, all bets were off.”
“Has that man ever returned?”
Georgia Moon shook her head. “Of course, my husband went with Austin and carried a shotgun, which helped.”
“Oh, Luke. God, I love that man. I’m so glad the two of you found each other.”
“It was a long hard road, but I couldn’t be happier.” Georgia Moon squeezed Cinnamon’s biceps. “You can be this happy too. With Austin. The two of you are meant to be together. This is your second chance.”
“I’m scared. When I left him at nineteen, I was so angry at him for the roller-coaster ride he’d put me on the last year of our relationship. I was mad at myself for turning to Pete and getting pregnant. But at the same time, I was excited to be a mom. I wanted that baby so badly. My own little person to love. I pinned all my hopes on her and I failed her too.” Once again, the tears came hot and fast.
“Oh, honey. No, you didn’t. I understand that everything that is happening is bringing up so much pain and making you question the decisions you made. But what matters is what brought you to this moment in your life. You’re going to be free of Pete and there is no reason why you can’t start building a life here again. You’ve got job opportunities. You can go back to school and have the career you’ve always wanted. And you can have the man you love. You just have to tell yourself that you deserve it.”
“Austin thinks I should see a therapist.”
“What do you think?”
“I know he’s right. I went to one for a brief time when Rosy died, but Pete was so against it.” Cinnamon swiped at her cheeks. She reached for her coffee and sipped. “Austin looked up a few this morning and left them with me. He even offered to go with me if I thought it would help. Or at the very least, he said he’d sit in the waiting room while I did my thing. He’s super supportive about everything and while I know he means it, I sometimes don’t trust it.”
“Because of Pete.”
“Yeah. But also because of what happened after Austin’s dad died. He went through a dark time.”
“I remember. He blamed himself for a lot of things.”
“He does that with me. As if he could have prevented what happened with Pete. He’s constantly telling me he should havefought harder for us. We both have regrets. The thing is, I can never regret Rosy.”
“I take it you’ve told him that.”
