Page 1 of Terrez and Shalene
Chapter 1
Shalene Thompson
Stuffingmy portable charger in my tote bag, I zipped it up before turning to the full-length mirror for one last look. I’d gone through my lowest time this past year but I was ready to get back to the old me. Although the life storm I was going through was far from over, I got out of bed today with a new purpose.
“Oh, you finally decided to get out the bed and get dressed today?” Brevin said as he leaned into the doorway to take me in.
The man standing before me once meant everything to me and more. Since I met him my junior year in college, I lived and breathed all things Brevin. He was the love of my life and I was the apple of his eye. That all came to an end last year when my mother passed away from a sudden heart attack. Depression had me in a chokehold so bad that I was barely taking care of my daughter. Most days, I didn’t have the strength to do anything but cry. The only time I left the bed was to empty my bladder. Nothing, not even my baby, could put a smile on my face. To have my mother snatched away so suddenly was a pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
Brevin was by my side at the start of it all. He was the shoulder I leaned on and even held me through the night when all I did was cry. Somewhere along the line, my pain had becomea burden. I’d give Brevin his credit and say he did a damn good job at holding down our home while being the primary caretaker of our daughter, but that’s where it stopped. I knew times like these tested marriages, but I didn’t think ours would fail the test. I was so in tune with Brevin that I remembered the exact day things took a turn. It started with an insult here and there, then everything he said to me was nothing short of disrespectful.
Never in a million years did I think my husband of several years would switch up and treat me like the ground he walked on. The reality of it all cut me deeply, but here we were. Had the shoe been on the other foot, there’d be no devil in hell that could pull me away from my grieving husband.
“Brevin…can you please hold off on your insults until I walk out the door?”
“Are you finally leaving for good? Shalene, our divorce has been final for weeks and you haven’t moved out yet. What the hell are you waiting on?” he spat angrily.
“It’s only been three weeks! How do you expect me to move with no income to show for the last year? Damn, I don’t understand why it bothers you so much that I’m still here. You’re not here most of the day anyway.”
“I don’t give a damn!”
“Is this about the girl you call yourself dating? Huh? Is she threatening to stop messing with you if I don’t leave?” I quizzed seriously.
Brevin didn’t try to keep it a secret that he’d moved on. He was so damn out with it that he walked around our home on the phone with her with no regard to me or our daughter. I was so past his bullshit that it didn’t even hurt. He’d long ago showed me the new him, so I wasn’t surprised by this. A big part of me had wanted to stay and work out my marriage, but that ship had sailed. Brevin was a little too quick to serve me those papers. Asmuch as I loved him and wanted my baby to have a family, I knew we wouldn’t work. I didn’t want the man he’d become.
“Actually, it is. How can I expect another woman to take me serious when I still have my ex-wife living with me? Would you date a man that still lived with his ex?”
Choosing not to answer his stupid ass question, I grabbed my purse and walked around him out of the room. I couldn’t see Brevin and I working through this, but the heartbreak still weighed on me. My life and future were planned with him in it. Now, I was being forced to start a new chapter and it hurt. I’d successfully made it out of the house and to my car without entertaining any of the insults Brevin yelled at my back. Thank God Amayah was at school and didn’t have to hear any of this.
After buckling my seatbelt, I pulled out of my driveway and headed toward my destination. There was so much on my mind that I didn’t do anything but cry the whole drive. I was praying for better days but couldn’t see the end of the rainbow. When I pulled into the restaurant, I spotted a park near the entrance and backed in. I was meeting my best friend, Patricia, at one of our favorite brunch spots. The mimosas were bottomless and the French toast was to die for. The sun kissed me when I stepped out of my car and seeing all the life around me put a smile on my face. It had been so long since I came outside to have fun and it felt good. I felt like I was taking literal breaths of fresh air.
“Good afternoon, ma’am. Do you have a reservation?” the host asked when I walked in.
Before I could give Patricia’s name, I spotted her waving to me from the left side of the crowded restaurant.
“I’m with her.” I pointed.
“Enjoy, ma’am.”
A big smile crept across Pat’s face when I approached the booth. Like she hadn’t seen me in years, Pat stood and held her arms out to hug me. This woman had truly been a godsend.Every day, Pat sent me words of encouragement and always let me know she was praying for my strength. She was the true definition of a soulmate and there was no way I’d ever be able to repay her. Emotional support was something I expected from Brevin but instead got it from Pat. If no one else was happy I’d shaken depression, I knew she was.
“It’s so good to see you, Shalene. You look so good, girl.”
“Thank you, boo. I don’t feel like I look good. This weight I put on these past few months is definitely showing.”
“Girl, that’s nothing the gym and a good meal plan can’t fix.”
“I know, I’m just dreading the process. I haven’t been active since God knows when. But I know I need to start soon. This is the biggest I’ve ever been. Crazy part is, I woke up one day and the weight was just there,” I vented as I sat in the booth.
It seemed like the only comfort I had in my dark time was food. Outside of being pregnant, my weight stayed around a hundred and forty pounds. I was never skinny, but I had a flat stomach and the right amount of curves. Now, I was about two hundred and twenty pounds, and it showed in my face. I knew I was supposed to love myself no matter what, but I wasn’t comfortable. Honestly, the weight gain only added to my depression. Brevin also let it be known that it was another reason he was no longer attracted to me.
“Shalene, you have got to give yourself grace. You’re overcoming a rough patch. It’s not easy pulling yourself out of a dark place like that. Then, it’s not like you had the most supportive partner through any of this. I could beat that nigga’s ass about the way he treated you.”
Pat was never Team Brevin, but she tolerated him. She’d been my best friend since high school and knew me better than I knew myself. Pat told me she felt like I was settling for Brevin, and at the time, I didn’t agree. All I could see was the good inhim. Now that we were going through turmoil, I was seeing him for who he truly was.
“Girl, you know I don’t condone violence, but he’s really been trying to get a rise out of me these past few weeks. He had it made up that I was moving out the same day the divorce was final. I don’t know why he thought that was possible when I’d just started back working a month ago,” I vented.
“That’s another thing I don’t like. Why the hell are you the one moving? You’re the woman and you have the child. He should be the one uprooting his life. Not you and Amayah.”
