Page 58 of My Fake Relationship With the Popular Boy
“Yeah, I guess you turned him down enough times that he thought it was better to wait for you to make a move. And I guess it worked right?” She shrugged. “Anyway, if he told you that he hasn’t liked you for a while, then it was probably just because he was trying to convince himself that he hadn’t been pining after a girl who didn’t like him back for four years.”
Jaxon was still into me. Like actually into me. Was that why he started this whole thing? Had he lied to me when he said he didn’t see it going anywhere? Or did he really care so much about beating Lewis that he was willing to put his feelings for me aside?
I didn’t like either of those options very much.
I felt like I was sleepwalking for the rest of the day. I went to all my classes and I was sure I spoke to lots of people, but my brain was squarely on what Sabrina had told me.
How could Jaxon still be into me? He said he wasn’t. He had looked me in the eyes and said that he used to be into me and wasn’t anymore. Why would he lie? Well, I guess I knew the answer to that — Sabrina had said so herself. Jaxon didn’t want to admit that he was still into me when he thought there was no chance I would like him back. But I did. I really liked him.
I walked from my last class of the day to the common room with my thoughts spinning like that. I sat down on the nearest seat, not even bothering to look around at who else was there.
Did I tell him? That seemed like the obvious choice. I should tell him and then he would say that he felt the same way andthen we could live happily ever after or whatever people did when they were in relationships. But… what if he said no? Or what if he thought I only liked him because I liked this fake-boyfriend version of him? What if he didn’t actually want a girlfriend or there was someone else he was interested in more?
All of a sudden, somebody clapped their hands directly in front of my face.I almost jumped out of my skin.
“What was that for?” I demanded. Finally out of my own head, I looked over. Eli and Madison were staring at me.
“I said your name like five times and you didn’t answer,” Eli said.
“Oh,” I murmured. “Sorry. I must have been lost in my mind or something.”
Eli and Madison shared a concerned look. A second later, the couch dipped beside me as Eli sat down.
“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked.
I looked at him, really looked at him, then at Madison across the room. They both looked so concerned for me. I hated that I couldn’t tell them the truth, hated that I agreed to keep up this lie. Look at all the good it had done me.
Without any forethought, the words just spilled out of my mouth: “Jaxon and I aren’t really dating. It’s all fake.”
twenty
Madison and Eliwere surprisingly calm about the whole thing, especially once I’d explained the whole situation and how this all came to be. Eli had to leave pretty much immediately after I finished explaining, citing some family thing he had to get home for, but he seemed perfectly chipper when he left the room. Madison, on the other hand, had a few more questions.
“But you two seemed so in love!” she’d said.
I shrugged helplessly. “We’re really good actors?”
The conversation went in circle for ages, as she kept insisting that Jaxon and I seemed perfect for each other, while I insisted there was nothing there. I decided to leave out the part about my feelings for the time being — I didn’t want her to try and convince me that I should go and confess or something.
I was worried that she’d be mad about me lying to her but she didn’t seem to care about that at all. In fact, the only person who was angry with me was the one person I’d hoped wouldn’t find out about me confessing; as I walking to class the next morning, I was once again unceremoniously pulled into a closet. This time, though, Jaxon managed to avoid throwing me into a wall, so that was a small victory.
“Will you quit doing that?” I snapped. I yanked my wrist back from his grip. Gosh, had he ever heard of just calling my name to get my attention?
“What would you rather I do?” Jaxon asked. I was a little taken aback by the anger in his voice. “Maybe tell all of our friends that our relationship is fake?”
I looked away and ran my tongue over my teeth.
“Who told?” I asked.
“Sabrina.”
“I didn’t tell Sabrina.”
“No, but you told Eli who obviously told Sabrina,” Jaxon said. “Who told me because she’s a good friend.”
I sighed and hooked my thumbs through the straps of my backpack. It was obvious what he meant by that: I shouldn’t have told and I definitely shouldn’t have kept it a secret from him once I did. And he was right. I went back on our deal and he had every right to be angry. It wasn’t like he’d done anything to cause it — except for making me fall in love with him while telling me he wasn’t in love with me, that is.
“I couldn’t take the pressure anymore,” I said because I had to say something. Besides, that was partially true; I hated lying to my friends and he knew it.
