Page 85 of The Healing Dragon
I nod and take one from his hands. I force my eyes to focus on the page and not turn to see how Matias is doing. A few cadets find us and stick around at the edges to see what is happening. A glare from Alejandra is enough to send a few of them scurrying away but not everyone.
They attempt for a few hours to make the magic flow, but other than a few shows of power Matias isn't very fluent. However, the attempts at tapping into his magic leaves him exhausted.
Santiago closes the last book of the small pile and sighs. “We tried,” he says.
We didn't find anything useful, but I don't think either of us thought we would. Lexi Blue is known for her brilliance and if there was anything worth finding she would have already.
“Why isn't she helping us go through text in the library?” I ask, gesturing to Lexi Blue.
“She is in her own way.” Santiago points at Matias quickly approaching us and begins to pack up. “She is fascinated by the powers of the Red Book and has spent the last few days taking books from the library to dissect.”
I don't have to know she hasn't been able to find anything. It's in the low cast and tiredness written all over Santiago.
“We just got started. It's been only a few days. Maybe Mel will give us something on our visit that will lead us the right way,” Matias says with optimism.
I am not sure the answer lies with a creature of the underworld, but Brandon must know what he is doing. No stone needs to be left unturned.
“Let’s grab dinner then keep searching in the stacks wehave at the library.” Santiago leads the way out of the training grounds.
We spent more hours in the library, and the only difference made is the number of books left on the table. Even after my eyes grow tired, I push myself. Once I realize my eyes can’t focus, I call it a night. The boys are more than happy to stop.
I don’t miss how Matias goes to the gardens instead of his wing of the castle. His sneaking glances tell me exactly who he is planning on seeing and why Santiago and I didn’t get invited.
“Does he think he is fooling anyone?” Santiago asks, staring after Matias.
I chuckle. “How do you know?”
“Oh, I followed him.” At my stunned face, Santiago chuckles. “I can't help my curiosity.” He shrugs unapologetically.
He sneakily walks after Matias into the gardens. I shake my head but move to the closest window that looks out into the gardens. I watch in awe at how Santiago walks straight to Matias and Alejandra and sits between them. He taps their knees playfully.
The cerise shade Matias turns into tells me everything I need to know about what Santiago could be saying. Poor thing.
The idea of going to my room and talking to Jesse makes me restless. I feel like I have said it all already. What else can I possibly add?
I could dive deeper into that feeling and acknowledge that the fear of finally accepting something between Jesse and me isn’t what scares me, but the outcome. The hope of what motivated me to keep going for so many years. The disappointment of failure is too great.
Instead of dissecting that trail of thoughts, I decide to keep myself busy by making a few visits. I stop at the kitchens first. I find Pad running through recipes for theupcoming week. His presence is soothing and comfortable to be around.
Afterwards, I go by the clinic. The uncomfortable back and forth I have with Amy Bee is enough to send me straight to my bedroom. She didn’t see a need for me to place any form of social call and I honestly should’ve known better.
I pace back and forth in my room. My eyes stray to the clock. I refuse to acknowledge just how long I’ve been doing this.
An opening and shutting of a door followed by footsteps give me pause. There’s a knock on my door before the knob slowly turns.
“Jesse,” I say as he stands on the doorway.
My heart rate rises with every step he takes my way. I want to run and hide, but from what, I’m not sure. He is a foot away from me and I am all consumed by him.
“I…” I want to say I can’t and I won’t, but the objection dies on my lips. “The thought of things going wrong scares me. I’ve lost so much and you are by far the best part left of me.”
The truth has been spoken, but I feel less free. That’s the thing. If I’m honest with myself, there is a part inside me that clings on to the notion of Jesse as part of me.
“I have no clue what this would look like, Janelle.” His eyes pour into mine and suddenly I feel light as a feather. “I will see to it with you. Together, we will figure it out. One step at a time. All you have to do is stay.”
I close my eyes and picture it. For the first time, the image that conjures in my mind isn’t one of impossibility. It’s an image so close to my reality that if I stretch my hand out, I can touch it.
Will the fear of the burn stop me from reaching?
