Page 58 of The Breaking Pointe
I continue talking to her, keeping my voice assuring. “I’ll be there.”
14
no one
NOELLE
Idon’trememberthelasttimeIfeltinclinedtofreshen up for a man in fifteen minutes or less.To tell the truth,I’m positive that this is the first time at all that I’ve put in effort to this extent since I was in high school.Much less actually wanted to since being in my previous relationship. As much as Daniel proclaimed that he wanted me looking, smelling, and parading around a certain way, I knew if I did the opposite, there would be less of what he wanted, and more of what I did.
My only form of power is space and privacy.
I don’t want that any less today, but I’m feeling compara- tively selfless, and I’d like to share some of that space and privacy with Colton.
So much so that I’m brushing my teeth and restyling my hair in a karaoke bar bathroom with ten minutes to spare. Irealizehesaidthathedoesn’tcare,andmaybeitdoesn’t
even matter to him,but after previous words have beensaid, I don’t feel as flattering as other ballerinas do in their practice attire.Nor do I believe I look anything other than ridiculous.Myhairisslickedsotightlythatnotonecurl is coiled,my bodysuit is squeezing me so much that youcan see every sculpt of my body, and my objectionably long, muscular legs take over the show. All making me look like an alien, as I label it, but the list of comparisons is endless. After spraying my hair with my mini spray bottle filledwith water and conditioner, I’m able to tame it to my liking. Theno make-up, all-naturalthing was simply going to have to work for me,and work overtime,at that.So were mydull, navy-blue leggings, and my dad’s old Chicago Bull’ssweatshirt. The rest of what I had changed out of was now shoved deeply into my duffle bag full of every womanly needI could have on my daily adventures. Still having around five minutes to spare, I manage to get a room that is reminiscent of a normal living area and order a beer for him and a green
tea shot for myself.
I set my bag far off into a tiny open space beside the couch and make myself as comfortable as possible, secretly waiting for the waitress to leave me there.As soon as she does, I look at the menus that she left perfectly arranged on the table.
Even though this isn’t our first time seeing each other, it almost feels like it is.He’s seen a lot more than I’ve compre- hended, and I’m stuck in a daze of being shy and starstruck, even after having his defined, heavy body sweating over the top of me while talking me through it. I feel like I’m having to regain all that confidence I had built up the other night, all over again. This fuzzy feeling I keep getting is like someone who keeps unleashing a butterfly garden in my belly. Every
time I try to brush it off,it never seems to work.Really,it’s every time I think of him.Now I have to look him inthe face again and tame the butterflies in real time, with no preparation. I’ve done a pretty shitty job at trying to avoid the feeling since then, and anytime I have a thought of him touching me, or kissing me—well, I can’t stop. I don’t want to, which speaks volumes of progression for me. Lauren and Annie would be so proud to see it.
The last few minutes of waiting get to me.I don’t sing, so I doubt I’ll pick a song, and I only took a shot because I’m shaking like a chihuahua.I wasn’t going to decline the offer, because if I did, who knows when I would ever see him again. He told me I should stop denying good things, and that’s what I’m going to do. For now, until he gives me a reason to pour it down the drain, which I’m sure he will. They all do. It’s the effect that rich, privileged men give off. What they want is what they get, but I’ve learned the hard way that I’m no object to desire if the only reward is having me. The only object I desire is to be loved by someone human.
The silence in the room is making it feel smaller by the minute. I see the head of the waitress appear outside of the door, suddenly with a taller gentleman following her in a frenzy.
Silence no longer.
The door swings open with a smiley Colton, subjecting me to hearing him thank the waitress for the beer and complimenting her service right after.
He’s so hospitable to everyone around him like nobody owes him anything in this world, and he owes them all of it. You would never know he was an up-and-coming socialite, just by looking at him. Though I think thateveryone looks
like that here in New York.He’s one of the more humble, guy-next-door types, it seems. It’s refreshing, instead of being flexed on every five minutes, like I know anything about Rolex watches or cars.I’d rather be outsmarted in history knowledge and artwork over that, any day.
If he’s a mind reader, too, then I’d really love to know. Or he could tell me who exactly gave him the cozy memo about the dress code.What I want to believe is that he dressed down to make me feel better, but I would be grasping for the very last straw by thinking that way.
“You’re so cute, sitting in here like it’s a little sleepover.” He gives a short laugh before sitting down on the couch. “Thanks for ordering this, by the way.”
“I figured you might like it. Or maybe want it, since we’re out…at a karaoke bar and all,” I respond, looking in his direction.
“Well, what about you? You having something to drink?” he asks, pulling his keys and wallet out of his pockets to allow himself to get more comfortable.
“I had one green tea shot.I think I’m gonna get water, though. I haven’t eaten, and I’ll just become a nuisance if I have any more.” I wave my hand, predicting my downfall in my head with a small smile.
“So then I’ll have one beer.”He shrugs.“We’ll call it even, but you’re gonna have to let me buy you dinner. You gotta have something, sweetheart.”
“You don’t have to…” I use my words as a way to attempt to stop his advances.
“Yeah, I know. I want to.” He smiles, temporarily looking at me. “Big difference.”He raises a brow as he sips his drink. The big difference is that now I’m going to feel like I need
todosomethinginreturn,youbig,handsomejerk.
My legs levitate to the couch as I get more comfortable and turn to face him.
My lips part to try and fill the empty spots in our small talk, almost choking up before the words nearly pour out.“So you said you came here before?” I ask. “At first, I thought it was out of character, but I guess I should expect that from you.Being all artsy and everything,” I mention, pushing myself to speak more.
