Page 106 of The Breaking Pointe
“Alright.Make some noise next time, kid, don’t scare me,” I say, leaning against the corridor.
“Gotcha,” he murmurs again.
I rub my lips together, glancing behind me before I step into the room and close the door softly.
“Look, Steven. I won’t force you to stay here if you don’t want to. I know you’re moving into the dorms soon. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to.”I scratch the back of my neck. “But, you know you’re welcome to stay.”
“I can’t go back there,” he says, looking my way, but this time he sounds much clearer.
“Then don’t.”I shrug, shaking my head.
He sits up, his gaze becoming a harsh grimace.“Why are you acting like she’s not dead? It’s been days, and you haven’t even shed a tear—not one.”
Looking off to the side, then the floor, I shamefully speak, “It’s not as easy for me, Steve.”
“Why not?!It’s never easy for you!Just say you don’t care, and move on!”His anger and yelling brings him to his feet, a weariness lingering in his tone.
“Steven, you don’t think I’m hurt?I am!”I ignorantly raise my voice and yell back.“I had to plan this entire goddamned thing, after planning out a comfortable way for her to die! All I’ve been doing is my best! I’m trying!”
Watching streams of tears fall from his eyes, he shakes his head before talking. “Try harder.”
Breathlessly,Iexhale,dumbstruck.
“Can you just get out? Please?” He buries his head in his hands, turning away from me.
Clenchingmyjawtightly,Iaccept.“Fine.”
I turn toface the door,opening itand exiting quickly.
I begin closing it behind me, hearing footsteps shuffle behind me. When I turn around, Noelle is standing there— sleepy-eyed and holding herself.
“I’m sorry if you heard that,” I blurt.
“I’m only making sure things are okay between you two,” she says, rubbing her eyes.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, sliding past her to walk back to the kitchen.
She follows closely behind me, standing beside me as I sit at the island.
“Can I do anything?” she asks as her fingers run through the hair on the back of my head.
“Youbeinghereisenough,”Ireassureher.
Her being here is as good as it’s going to get.I have her, and I have my sibling.I don’t have contentment or true happiness. All I can do is hope that it’s on the way.
Maybe it is.
27
don’t cry for me
NOELLE
I know it takes more than a few days for someone to cope with the news of something highly disheartening.That’s why I refuse to beat Colton down with my questions and concerns. I won’t say it hasn’t been burning inside of me to know what’s going through his mind, though.
It’s been about a week since the funeral, and like clock- work,everymorningColtonisalreadyawake,stuckin the middle of the couch, watching boxing highlights.If you ask me, I don’t even think he’s actually watching and retaining anything at this point. I’m pretty sure he played the same recorded highlights six times in a row yesterday, and only restarted it so it wouldn’t be quiet in the house. If I didn’t have so much patience, I’d be more forceful—but it’s obvious: he’s depressed and doesn’t want to admit it.
I’ve been waking up earlier while staying with Colton and Steven.It’snotveryeasywhenyou’reworryingaboutthe
