Page 97 of Faking Forever 1
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Cowering in place, I grit my teeth, wanting this conversation to end. Abruptly would be even better.
Her lack of reaction feels like a stab wound. If she would even say as little as she might be in love with me, it would be enough to yield my paranoia about any and everything.
“Nick drove me home before I came here. He saw me when I was broken down on the way here.”
“Broken down? Why didn’t you callme?”
“I didn’t call anybody, Josh. I originally was planning on just walking the rest of the way.”
“Okay, so that’s it right? He just drove you home.”
“Well,” her head drops, “That’s the thing.”
If this is going where I think it is, it’s a sick joke.
“He said he wanted to apologize. I swear that’s theonlyreason I took him up on his offer, Josh. When he got to my house, the conversation went left, and he kissed me. I left right after and didn’t say anything.”
My face was heating up before she could finish telling me the entire story. I was trying to choose not to be immature, but it was hard when, deep down, I wanted to tell her to leave.
I want to believe she has no intention of stringing me along for no reason, but I also watched her sulk in a dark black hole for the longest time after they broke up. I wouldn’t be amazed if she were thinking about him in the back of her mind right now. Yet, I myself lack the will to not be jealous and insecure in just about any healthy relationship, and knowing that to be true, it was best to choose maturity.
“Now,you’renot saying anything…” she redirects me, reaching her hand over the table for mine.
Watching her hand, I shake my head in disagreement, “Did 230
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you kiss him back?” I respond in a weighty tone.
“What? No.” her fingers curl back into her palm, her eyes squinting.
“Then it doesn’t matter. You said you were over him.” my tone remains.
“Uh, yeah, itdoesmatter. I want us to talk about it. Don’t you trust me?” her soft presentation shifts to a more moody one.
“I trustyou. I don’t trust him, Paisley. He manipulates you so easily that it makes me uneasy. He’s kissing you first, but what if he tries more? Then what?”
Her words topple over mine, becoming louder, “Then,nothing.Are you kidding me? Am I stupid to you? I came here to tell you how much I love you—and how great you are, Josh. I thought being honest with you would be a great way to show you that.”
“It is—and that’s not what I meant,” I stutter, needing to say everything at once, but still her words run over mine.
“You and Nick should be best friends instead. You’d be even better as a couple.” she glares at me before shifting her feet on the sandy floor to walk out.
“C’mon Paisley, would you stop?” I leave the table empty, going after her, taking significant steps until I block the door from her path.
“Move.” she pushes my torso.
“No, you said you wanted to talk about it, so let’s talk,” I observe her now dewy-eyed gaze and muted response.
I lick my lips, taking in a thrush of air, then blowing it out,
“I’m in love with you.”
“I wanted to say the same thing when you walked in the door. Until I was suddenly a blonde bimbo to you—”
