Page 88 of Faking Forever 1
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here we go again
PAISLEY
I never thought I would say this, but I think camping is my favorite activity now. By camping, I mean having Josh’s oversized body pin me down while he does unspeakable things to me. Now that it’s over, I don’t know how to act normal. Not even the first time I fell in love did I ever feel what he made me feel this entire summer, up until that night. All I wanted was merely one more kiss to ease my mind, and now I’m thinking about the next time I can get him alone. It’s a not-so-pleasant time warp where my hormones are now exceeding their limits.
There wasn’t much to say after he dropped me at home.
When we hugged, he almost didn’t want to let go of me, and I was willing to let him hold me forever. I can still feel his embrace, and now I’m stuck with the smell of his musky cologne on my sweatshirt—and that’ll probably last for the rest of the day. Another accessory to join the raspberry red hickey that was stuck on my skin. Thank God for hair—long210
HERE WE GO AGAIN
hair. I don’t want to have to explain any of the hormone-induced behavior we engaged ourselves in to my family.
Retail therapy has to be my favorite way of healing. Any pampering is good healing, but there’s an itch that I have that only buying a cute new top or swimsuit can scratch. It’s the perfect time to be a girl, and nobody will make fun of you for literally existing. I could spend hours in a shopping mall if I had no morals or will, but it was something about the way the sun was shining today that made it different from the others.
I needed to soak it in.
I’ve become too dependent on Big Red—the truck he’d gifted me out of nowhere. I hear my dad saying things like,
“That girl doesn’t even want rides from us anymore!” to my mom, as if he hadn’t brought this upon himself. His second complaint was that the truck wasn’t fit to be driven every single day. And to that, I say, why even give it to me when you know that’s precisely what the plan is? I no longer have to beg like a baby for a ride from mommy and daddy or tag along on Josh’s store errands so that I can get to the next destination.
My dad’s ideas outweighed the need to soak in the sun since every time I took it for a drive—it seemed to give out on me the moment I started to enjoy the ride. On any other day, I think I would be frustrated out of my mind, but nothing can ruin mymood today. It’s not a coincidence, though, how every time I think the ride is going smoothly, I’m humbled by the sound of the engine rattling like it’s on the verge of exploding.
I might as well just pull over now before the smoke gets toocloudy to do so.
There was a pullover nearby, right after the parkway exit, which was about a twenty-minute walk from home. It was 211
FAKING FOREVER
not ideal, but I would get my wish of soaking in the sun.
When I get out of the car, I grab all of my different-colored shopping bags and loop them around my wrists.
“Paisley?”
A perky voice raises its interest from behind me. An un-wanted voice that I was now begging would turn away.
“Paisley, uh, do you need help?”
“No—”
I whip my shopping bags from out of the vehicle, smacking Nick in his chest.
“No, I’m fine. Sorry.” I huff, blowing a few strands of hair from my eyes.
“Relax. I was just going to ask if you wanted a ride. I was hoping we could talk.” he suggests, raising his shoulders.
“What is there to talk about?” I respond as fast as possible.
His lips part to speak, but the words are delayed. Something about this felt like serious deja vu.
“I wanna apologize. Can Ipleasegive you a ride?”
If I don’t say yes, I don’t think he’ll ever leave me alone.
“Sure, Nick. Straight home, though.” I nod once.
