Page 79 of Faking Forever 1
I’d been walking for almost thirty minutes with no intent to give up, but I did need a break, just for a refreshment.
Stopping in place, I drop my bag down on the ground, setting the flashlight beside it, and then I lean down to grab my water from the side compartment. At this point, I was losing all hope, and leaving her out here wasn’t an option. It was just starting to feel useless. My last resort was going back to my dad, getting him involved, and bothering him on what’s 185
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supposed to be his vacation would really suck to have to do.
I take a large sip of my water, getting a mouthful before swallowing when I hear the reverb of a voice. It was soft, like it was at a distance, freezing me in my stance, waiting to see if I was just going insane from being out here for so long. I turned my head, slightly left, hearing it once more, only it was more of a weeping sound.
Paisley.
I snatched my bag from the ground, throwing it on my back before taking off in the direction of the sound, and my ears quickly adjusted to what direction it was leading me. Braking myself, I stop at a rustle of a few branches on the ground, trailing to a rounded bend leading to a river path. A heavy, rushing, watered river. Observing it momentarily, I take a few steps forward, getting rammed into the third step. The harsh collision sends me stumbling, catching the sight of blonde streaks of hair falling beside me, wailing out a loud shriek once we hit the ground.
“It’s me! It’s Josh!” I belt, grabbing her bag with one hand and her arm with my other, “Shhh! Paisley, it’s me!”
Giving up, she stops flailing her arms and trying to escape, falling victim to my grasp. She crawls into my lap, tugging at every part of my clothing for comfort.
“It’s okay, it’s okay now.” I hold her head to my chest, cradling her like it’s my last time doing so. Her skin was freezing cold, and her clothes soaked—it’s a miracle she wasn’t shivering worse than she was.
“Don’t be mad—I thought I would be fine,” she struggles to get her words out.
Her cry was gut-wrenching and cutthroat. It was evident that whatever she’d been through was enough for her, and 186
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handling anymore tonight would just be too much. I needed to get her back to the site as soon as possible. After getting her off the ground, she explained that she had an adventure of a lifetime and had fallen down the hill before we crashed into each other. With the last bit of juice her phone had, she called me, of course reigning unsuccessful.
I hauled ass carrying her, my bag,andher bag back to the campsite. She was asleep halfway there, so the good news was she didn’t have to see me fighting for my life to breathe like a normal person until we got there. The bad news was that my dad nearly stroked out, waiting for us to get back. He was planted by the fire, smoking cigarettes back to back until we returned. Relieved by the sight of us, he called it a night and went into his tent. After seeing his multiple burnt-out cigarette butts and twisted-up facial expressions, I almost considered having one myself because of the journey.
When I placed Paisley in the tent, I did my best to carefully wipe her face and remove her soggy clothes and gunked-up boots to replace them with dry clothes. The dampness hadn’t seeped through her clothes too badly, but a shower wasn’t in the equation either. I did my best to tuck her in, stuffing the covers around her body like a cocoon, retrieving any leftover twigs and leaves from her hair. I still can’t believe she came out of something so sinister unscathed.
What would I do to reverse the last hour and a half? I keep imagining what I would have done if something worse had happened.
She was sound asleep, even though I knew her body was aching like hell. There’s nothing that could make her not beautiful. No amount of dirt, leaves, or twigs could deshovel 187
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her enough to make her undesirable to me. Come to think of it—I couldn’t fathom even existing in a universe where I couldn’t look at her every day.
Once I knew she was comfortable, it was time to cater to myself, which wasn’t hard. I was so physically drained that the most I could bring myself to do was kick my shoes off, and even that felt like too much. I get my shirt off, dropping it beside myself before covering my face, rushing some fingers through my hair, and then gazing at the bright orange vinyl of the tent that made up the structure of its ceiling. I shift my head to the side, faced with Paisley’s French tip acrylic nails, now blackened with dirt.
Looks like someone’s gonna need a spa day.
I slide my arm up my chest, poking my fingers that hers, fumbling with them, and then capturing them between mine so our palms meet. Scooting closer, I pry some of the blankets over my body, wrapping her arm around me, then doing the same to her, resting my chin on her head, to finally close my eyes.
“I love you too much for you to ever scare me like that again,” I breathe.
I think I have a new big fear now—an actual jab to the gut kind of fear.
* * *
I could hardly sleep at all through the night. My brain worked overtime to get my thoughts racing on a never-ending track.
Eventually, I’d given up on sleep and quietly lay there with no thoughts until I decided I’d had enough of laying in one position. Paisley was still sound asleep, not budging at any 188
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time soon either, so there wasn’t much to keep me occupied.
