Page 58 of Faking Forever 1
“You kids want the bear or not?” the host finally grabs my attention.
“Oh shit—yeah, sorry. The brown one, please?” I ask him while Pea drops from my grasp.
He hands me the bear, which is close to my size now that I am holding it up close, and waves us along for the next customers 135
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behind us. Paisley looks at Darcy, then back at me, holding back her glory.
“Igot the big bear,” she gushes.
Nick begins talking when he approaches us. ‘You guys ready to go yet?” he asks, gritting at the sight of the giant bear.
I look at Pea. “You wanna?”
She nods, rubbing and fluffing up the bear with a smile.
The bear got more attention than I did for the rest of the night and on the drive home. Seeing her smile was a fair trade-in, but I didn’t think I’d ever have to compete with a bear.
She’s so innocent when she’s happy, though—it’s worth every large, stuffed teddy bear in the world. Every look I gave her, she was smiling out the window or singing every word of the songs playing on the radio, contently. It gives me peace of mind when she’s happy and not up in arms about other people trying to stir things up in her life. I want it to stay that way when she leaves here.
I still would love to know Nick’s reasoning for asking us on the date. If Darcy weren’t the daughter of my father’s opponent, then I would’ve said no. I don’t want to bump elbows with anyone before the election or cause any riffs.
Swallowing my pride is so tricky when Nick is around. I have so much to say, but I know it would go in one ear and come out the other without registering in his puny brain.
“Help me with the bear?” She looks in the back seat, giggling as we pull into my driveway.
“Of course I will.” I smile, turning the car off.
When we both got out, I grabbed the bear from the backseat and she followed me, walking beside me to her front porch.
I stopped before the door and turned to her, setting the bear between us at our feet. She pats the bear’s head and looks up 136
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at me.
“Thanks for the new cuddle buddy.” Her mouth widens into a smile.
“Thankyoufor the most interesting double date I think I’ve ever been on,” I say, lifting my hat from my head.
“Did you have fun?” she asks, holding the head of the bear as she steps closer to me.
“I had fun withyou, if that’s what you’re asking me.” I flash a smile, following her movements with my eyes.
“Youreallyhate him, don’t you? What did he say to you when I went to the bathroom?” she questions me.
“Nothing important. I have more than enough reasons to dislike the guy, okay?Heonly has one.” I stand tall, slightly smiling. “It’s fun to fuck with him, though.” I chuckle, rubbing the stubble on my face.
“And what is his one reason? Because I think it’s you. Who wouldn’t want to be you right now, Josh?” she gloats. I watch her French tips touch my chest as she presses her hand there.
“No…” I shake my head, looking down at her hand, gripping my hat tightly.
“Yeah. Why don’t you give yourself more credit?” she quietly argues with me—in the sweetest voice.
She takes her fingers to my chin, making me look at her. It was a good thing it was so dark out because I was feeling as red as a tomato.
“I’m still the same guy that I was before you left. The only difference is I care about the outcome of my choices now. I don’t want to be perceived as a lowlife—and I don’t want you to think I’m not going to become anything. It’s the same for my parents.”
