Page 129 of Faking Forever 1

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“Yeah. Neither can I,” I say quietly. “Freaky, isn’t it?” I look back at him.

“Freaky, yes. But also the coolest thing to happen to this family. I’m proud of you, Peabody.” He smiles at me. I didn’t think I would be getting emotional with my brother until a long time from now. But I like this being sooner than later.

I lay my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around his torso to hug him. He throws his arm over my shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

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good in goodbyes

JOSHUA

I refused to stay at that party without the one person I showed up for. It didn’t matter either because I didn’t have a good time to begin with. My eyes burned at the sight of Beau trading an empty beer bottle for a new one every fifteen minutes. Thebrother inside of me felt obligated to stop him and convince him to make the right decisions, but somewhere in that figuration, I realized that it was never my job to do that. Even if it feels suitable for me. I’m glad I could get away before I turned into a massive dickhead and put my hands on him.

In my eyes, I see it as more than him exposing me or Paisley.

It was like a buildup he’d been waiting to unleash. Maybe he needed it. At the expense of our feelings, he’s obviously still healing from some things or something new is up. If I’ve learned anything about reasoning and asking why, it’s that most situations have none. Humans operate the same 312

GOOD IN GOODBYES

confusing feelings differently. Some people are better at operating their feelings while others need a little assistance.

If they’re willing to take it, that is.

Tate told me Paisley wasn’t completely upset, which was good. He said she was disappointed, though, which is less intense, but I resonate with that feeling. Still, disappointment is worse than anger. Being into Darcy has not been my finest hour. But after a few texts, Pea was already asking me when she would see me again. So it’s not good, but it could be worse.

The escape would help me to run from my dad, who was acting like he wasn’t slobbering all over my mother the other night.

I get sick to my stomach when I think about it. He has no idea that I know, granted, but it doesn’t make me like the idea anymore. I haven’t thought of anything I have to say to him.

Now dinners have been extremely quiet. Especially tonight.

I couldn’t care less for eating or looking him in the eyes. If I did, all I would see is him and my mother, and well—I don’t want to. So my phone was getting my attention instead, while I went through messages between Paisley and me, cooking up a new one.

PAISLEY

Just promise me you’ll never even look in her direction. I don’t want her getting any ideas.

ME

Paisley, I ONLY have eyes for you.

I’m sorry Beau ever said anything.

I want you to trust me and it feels like I’m blowing it…

PAISLEY

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You aren’t blowing anything. I trust you, but I’m scared. I love you…

ME

I love you more.