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innocenthorsing around.” I scruple to tell him the real truth.
“Horsing around? With aboyon top of you? Because he also says you two are together now. Wanna explain that?” he demands, sounding exasperated. He’d gone from calm and bounced to pissed off in seconds.
I was stooped to my demise. No way is he dropping all of this on me at once. I thought he would sound much happier to hear about us dating, but instead, he sounds repulsed.
“You have nothing to say? Not one thing?”
He puffs his cigarette a few times more.
“Not officially?”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means that we aren’t sure about it—why the third degree? It’s just Josh.”
He finally puts the leftover butt out in his nearby ashtray, then gawks his eyes at me. I’m unsure of what line has been crossed, but I, indeed, was about to find out.
“Paisley, if a man is unsure of you, he isn’t good enough. If you’re unsure of him, I don’t even want to think about his dirty fingers picking at you. Do you understand me?” he scolds me, leaning over to look inside the car again. “If he’s that special to you, you’ll warn him to keep his hands and feet in his own lawn.”
“Daddy, why are you making it seem like he’s some bad guy?
Did you not meet Nicholas?” I hold my arms out, expecting a viable excuse.
For my father, it’s his way or scram. I was thinking about taking the second option any second now.
“I know the kid. I know Joshua, too. I said what I said, Paisley. You’re young. There’s a million other boys in the world, but you choose your next-door neighbor?”
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“I’m old enough to know what I want, okay? Why can’t you trust me on this? I thought you liked him.” I avoid my fears, stepping up to him. Though he was bigger and scarier than I ever will be, I have something to prove. If I know myself like I think I do, feeling what I think I am, my first job would be to stand up for what I believe in. In my heart, Josh would do the same.
“Paisley, it isn’t that Idon’tlike Josh. I do. What I don’t like is the idea of you two dating. You’re my little girl. I always knew something like this would happen, but while you’ve been away,hehasn’t made the best track record of showing me that he’s grown up in any way. Until then, I’ve said what I have to say.”
He completely shut me down and any other ideas that evenrevolvedaround me dating Josh. He deliberately refused to hear any other on-the-spot excuse I had. It’s clear that even if we were dating in real life, he wouldn’t be happy. As far as he knows, it’sallreal. I refuse to tell Josh to back off when all I can think about is him being mine andonlymine. My dad will have to either accept it or let this be the beginning of what might throw a wedge the size of Mount Everest between us.
I wait for him to say anything else—maybe even tell me he’s joking with me, but he doesn’t. He returns to his dumb car examination, preparing to light yet another cigarette. For some reason, his words stung harder than any other personal opinion. I want to be mad—I should be angry, but now I have that boulder-sized lump in my throat and I can’t stop shaking.
I am in no way, shape, or form equipped to handle being in the middle of a father-versus-boyfriend dynamic. This would stay my secret and it was damn sure staying close to my heart.
I was nearly tripping over my feet, trying to get to the inside 126
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of my house and as far away from my father as possible.
“Dude, c’mon!” Tate shouts, knocking heads with me so hard his headphones fall to the floor, crashing on the glossy wood.
“I’m sorry.” I wince, holding my forehead.
I was nearly choking on tears from holding them back as I watched him scramble to pick the headphones up and check for damage.
“Iliterallyjust got these, Paisley. I doubt you wanna buy me a brand new pair,” he reprimands me, sounding exactly like the man I was escaping from seconds ago.
“Yeah—I said I was sorry, okay?” I seethe, pushing past him with my shoulder, storming to my room like I’d originally intended. “This is all your fault, anyway,” I shout, making sure he hears me.
