Page 127 of Faking Forever 1
I was waiting for nothing. Not even Josh. I don’t want answers—nor do I want to fight about which answers are wrong. My heart and mind are full from all the other surprises all summer. With any more warnings, I might never return to Jersey again. Nothing good is coming from visiting my past. I want to run away from everything, even more so when things go wrong, but I don’t know why I always think I can outrun him. Josh rushes around me, kicking up sand as he halts before me,
blocking my path.
“Pea, wait—you havenocontext,” he says, grasping my shoulder, panting.
“Do Ineedit? By the look on everyone’s faces, including yours, I’mobviouslymissing a few chapters, Joshua,” I babble while walking around him, but he stops me again.
“You could at least give me a chance to explain myself, okay?
Please.”
“Are you hooking up with her or not?”
“We aren’t hooking up. We never have, I swear to God.”
“Do you want to fuck her?”
“Paisley—”
“Don’t lie to me.”
I growl and push his chest, my hands sticking and peeling from the beer residue. He almost grabs them, but I slip away again.
“I wouldn’t lie about it. Nothing is going on between us,”
he says, doing his best to keep his composure. “What he said 307
FAKING FOREVER
was referring to…a few years ago.”
He places a hand on my shoulder, finally able to get his hands on me.
“I used to talk about hooking up with her when I was around Beau and some other guys from school. We all did. Yes, I did want to hook up with her in the past. It was only lustful.”
No more. I can’t possibly hear anymore. It’s like re-watching my relationship with Nick already. I don’t want to relive that. If I have to, burn me at the stake first.
“I could’ve done without the explanation. It’s nice to know that every boyfriend I get has her in the back of their mind.”
“That is not true. I can’t imagine thinking of her like that now—”
“Now?I guess I should prepare for the surprises when I leave, huh?”
My tear ducts were so flooded that both eyes shed at the same time. I cross my arms.
“Enjoy the party, okay? Don’t wait up. I just wanna be alone,” I say, turning on my heels to finish leaving.
“Paisley…” he says, giving up after saying my name.
I’m not as angry with him as I am with knowing someone like her will always win. She’ll always get the guy and everyone will love her every move. I’m angry that I have to compete with the likes of that. I will never know why. She is where my insecurities began. It wasn’t an overnight thing. At first, she was pleasant to me. Until she discovered Nick existed. Then lovely became overly sweet. The rest was history and I didn’t get a heads-up until it was too late. He might think it makes no sense, but it makes all the sense to me. Her plan would be evident, and until the election, all I’m going to do is worry.
Feelings don’t go away. Not lustful ones.
308
PEACE TREATY
* * *
