Page 48 of Somewhere Only We Know
She drops her head into her hand and groans. When her head pops back up it’s with renewed fire for her sister. “Then start there. You have no idea the impact those two words can have on someone.” Kamryn turns to leave but stops before she opens the door. “Oh. Her room is right nextto yours.” She points to the wall to the right and my head perks up. “Do with that what you will.”
When the door closes my heart goes into overdrive. With this information, I need a plan. But I need to sleep before I do something stupid like stomp over to her room and kiss her as soon as the door opens.Yeah, totally stupid, I tell myself. I flop down on the bed and think while trying to listen for any movement next door. Silence. I pull out my phone and pull up Instagram, moseying my way to Jax’s account to see if she’s posted anything telling. Nothing for the last few weeks. I toss my phone beside me on the bed and stare up at the bare ceiling.
I’m aware of everything. The sound of my air turning on with a low hum and a door closing in the hallway and the occasional blare of a horn from down on the street. But I’m most hyper aware of the temptation next door.
Don’t do something stupid, I tell myself.
I fly off my bed and out the door to the room next door. Knocking on the door with a force to wake up anyone who’s still asleep, I wait. I hear the door lock unlatch.
“What the hell–”
I don’t let her finish her question before I’m pushing into her room and taking her lips in a burning kiss. The door closes as I push her up against the wall. I pour eight years of wanting into this very kiss. I kiss her like I’ve never kissed anyone. Her hands are on my chest, positioned to push me away until a beat passes and she’s curling them into the fabric of my hoodie. Jax pulls me closer and I eliminate the small breath of space between us. This right here is what I’ve needed. Her in my arms and our hearts beating in sync. I slow the kiss down before I’m breaking it altogether, leaving her with one final kiss.
When my eyes open, I see the scrunch in her brow andher kiss bruised lips. And when they open, they search my face for something. An ulterior motive possibly.
“I’m sorry.” I tell her and I watch her face relax. “I’m sorry for ruining us. I’m sorry for deciding what was best for you. What I’m sorry most for is hurting you. I swear on my life that that was the last thing I ever wanted to do.”
Jax’s eyes flutter and fill with tears. And a weight I didn’t know I was carrying finally lets up. Who knew that saying those words could free me? Whether she accepts the apology or not is up to her. But Jax’s hands come back up and land back on my chest, pushing me away this time. I swallow down the rejection with a small smile.
“Thank you. But that doesn’t mean all is forgiven,” she tells me.
“I know.” I say and nod my head.
“Eight years, Nathan.” She says and her chin trembles with emotion. “Do you know how hard it is to reconcile that you lost eight years with someone?”
“I know, Jax. I hate myself for that,” I plead with her. “You said second chances don’t always work. Butthiscould be our second chance if we want it to be.”
Jax blinks her tear-filled eyes and I watch, painfully, as one trails down her cheek and I want to hit myself for making her cry. But she quickly wipes it away, shaking her head and doing her best to erase all evidence. “I do want us to be friends again. But I don’t know if I can let go of my anger so easily.”
“I don’t expect you to, Bee. Be angry with me, fight with me, and laugh with me. Because there is no one else I would rather do that with than you. As long as you do all of that with me, I’ll be happy.”
She’s leaning against the wall with her hands behind herback, staring at me and taking in all of my words. Her decision is written clear on her face. But I don’t push her.
I take her not throwing me out on my ass as my cue and head to the door. “I’ll see you later for dinner.”
The door locks behind me and I walk back to my room with a smile on my face. When I get back into my room, I look at the time on the clock and decide now is the time I’ll take a nap. We have about seven hours until dinner so I close the curtains, set my alarm, and drop into bed.
I finally feel refreshedafter my nap and as I step out of the shower I feel like a different person. I wipe my hand over the fogged up mirror and stare at my reflection. I haven’t seen the light in my eyes in a long while and after one interaction with Jax it’s like seeing someone else staring back at me.
I go about my skincare routine, because Kayla said it was criminal that I only used bar soap and body lotion.A moisturized man is a desirable man. Her words, not mine and I lotion up my torso and legs before heading out to the bedroom to get dressed. My black jeans are laid out on the bed, along with a cream sweater and undershirt. It’s not as cold in Vegas as it is in Cincy, but sometimes the wind will come and hit you with a chill. My black boots with cushioned inserts are off to the side because who knows how much walking the married-to-be pair will make us do. Looking at the time I see I have about fifteen minutes until I have to be in the lobby. I pull on my watch, spray some cologne on the hot spots, grab my phone off the charger, and beeline to the door.
It seems I’m not the only one on the same schedule as Isee Jax exit her room at the same time as I do. And my goodness she’s a vision. Her hair is smooth with soft waves that fall down her back. A black mini skirt with what looks like pantyhose and black cowboy boots cover her feet but when she turns I swallow my tongue. A deep red lace bodysuit hugs her petite figure and she has a matching sweater that dips low in the front so it shows off the lace detail of the suit. Laying across her torso is a small black purse that looks no bigger than her phone.
She takes a few steps and stops when she sees me lingering outside of my door. “Neighbor?” She asks, pointing to my door.
I can’t find my voice so all I can do is nod. Jax smiles at my speechlessness and it feels like we’re back to the college versions of us. The versions of us where she left me speechless after every interaction.
“Come on, friend,” she begins. “Let’s not keep the pair waiting.”
Jax walks past me towards the elevator bank and I lengthen my strides, which is not hard to do, to catch up with her. She hits the button and I stand next to her with my hands in my pants pockets, waiting for the doors to open.
“You look beautiful,” I tell her and look over at her.
She looks up at me with a small smile as a blush covers her face. “Thank you. You look very handsome.”
When the doors open, I hold my hand out to Jax and follow in closely after her. I hit the button for the ‘Lobby’ and lean against the other side of the elevator car. Jax manages to avoid looking at me as she looks all around the elevator, but I keep my eyes on her. She’s an expert at avoidance and thankfully we have three more floors until we’re off.
“So…” I start and push off the wall, taking a step closer to her.
