Page 70 of Somewhere Only We Know
My abdominal muscles burn as I run through the last of this circuit. This one to test my balance. Growing up, I had thought that baseball was only about your arms and your legs. Oh how wrong I was. When I started incorporating more weight training and muscle specific exercises, the results on the field started to show. It’s what has made me such an asset on the field. I finish up this round and then drop into my stretching, all the while watching Jax.
Damn, I love my wife. The thought pops up out of nowhere. Although it’s not a sudden realization. It’s been a feeling that’s simmered under the surface, only laying dormant during our separation. Until now.
Is declaring the love I always felt for her too soon now that we’re a married couple?
Jax says she loves the ring I drunkenly picked out for her. Hell, I’ve caught her staring at it multiple times with a secret smile when she thought I wasn’t looking at her. I’ve continuously asked myself if I were sober, would I have picked out the same ring? And the answer is always yes.
“You looked good.” She notes and finally walks into the room and looks at each piece of equipment.
“You’re always free to join me.”
Jax shivers as if the thought of working out with me repulses her and I arch an eyebrow towards her. “No. It’s not you. And I’m sure working out with you would be great. Or we would end up doing a different workout, if you catch my drift.”Oh, I’m starting to.“But me and the gym don’t go together. At least not anymore.”
“Does this stem back to that waste of space ex?”
“Yeah,” Jax says and avoids my eyes.
There’s something else. Something she’s managed to hide from everyone. I don’t want that. Secrets, that is.
“Bee, come here,” I command softly.
She hesitates where she’s running her fingers over the dumbbell rack before finding my eyes in the mirror and coming over to the mat with me. I point to the spot in front of me and when she’s seated, I place her legs on top of mine, making sure she’s close to me. I’m not sure what it is about Jax that I always have to touch her.
“How bad did it get?”
“About a year into him and I dating, he started making more pointed comments about my weight. Nothing too digging where I took offense. Until he would, once again, show me those fake Instagram models and ask why my stomach wasn’t as flat as theirs. Or if I would ever get breast implants or a butt lift.”
I curl my hands over her thighs as I hold back on demanding her to give me his number so I can track him down.
“So I cut what I ate in half. And when that still wasn’t enough for him I joined a gym. I went every morning and night. My social life was non-existent at that point, I wasn’teating enough, I couldn’t remember what a good night’s sleep felt like, and the work I submitted to brands was lackluster.”
Realization dawns on me. “Shit. That’s why you and the gym don’t go together.” It’s not a question but more a statement observation.
“Yeah. But now I workout in healthy ways. I know when I need rest and when I need to move. But now I do it at my own pace and not for an end goal.”
“Do you run with Sarah?” I ask with a smile because my publicist runs a lot. So much that she puts distance runners to shame.
Jax scoffs. “God, no. She actually picked that up from Kamryn. But, no. I’m more of a pilates and spin workout girl when I want to be. Plus, my twice a day walks with Sully.”
I smile as I remember running up to her that summer day on her walk. “And food?”
“That relationship was easier to heal than I thought. But sometimes his voice will pop into my head and I’ll hesitate. It’s hard to break patterns that were part of your daily life for so long.”
I know she’s past that relationship. But I can’t help but feel angry for her. How a man could make a woman feel like she needs to change how much she eats, or how much she weighs so he can lift her easily. I’ll take Jax anyway I can get her. I’ll be the best support system for her when the doubt creeps in.
“I’m glad you broke up with him.”
Jax huffs a short laugh. “Me too.” Her gaze goes to my bare torso and I feel the path her eyes take as she looks at the tattoos covering my body. Jax’s hand reaches out to touch certain spots and I know she’s finding them. Thetension in her face eases and her mouth parts on a gasp. “You have–you have bees. So many bees.”
“You were always with me, baby. Even when we were complete strangers living in the same city.”
The idea to keep Jax with me despite letting her go, some would call that a glutton for punishment. I call that holding onto hope. When I got the first bee tattooed, I knew I would get more.
Jax moves on a mission and hooks her hand on the gold chain that’s looped over my neck, bringing me closer to her. Her other hand comes up to my face and traces my bottom lip with her thumb. My hands are still resting on her thighs. I won’t move. Jax needs the control more than my need for her. She needs to control this. And I let her.
In a breath, our lips touch. Soft at first. But when Jax scoots closer, fusing us together, that’s when the kiss is no longer soft. My hands slide up her legs and to her waist. Her arm wraps around my shoulder and then I’m taking us backward. Jax gasps at the backward motion with her body falling on top of mine and I groan into her mouth when she rubs her center over my hardening cock. Our tongues tangle and I move her hips over me. We explore each other freely with our hands while Jax’s hips continue to roll over my erection.
Jax breaks the kiss and I pull a lungful of air in. She licks and nips at the sweat still lingering on my skin and soothes the spot with kisses.
